dinsdag 23 december 2014

Living With Scrubs


So here we are: it is almost Christmas Eve and I am watching doctors series on television.  Yeah, I am guilty as charged.  Stallie watches everything that has scrubs in it and a surgeon or a guy with a nice smile who can fix major injuries in no time  That these series involve a lot of talking and not that much of real medicine is something that keeps surprising me.  Okay, the first copple of seasons of House MD I tend to call a winner and ER brought Doctor Carter and the eternal grey hair and gorgeous smile of George Clooney into my life. And I bet that there are few amongst you who even are hooked to Grey's Anatomy (a series that I consider not being that much a lesson of anatomy but rahter lessons of love) because of Dr Derek Shepherd, allias Dr. McDreamy.  Come on, admit it ladies (and perhaps even some men amongst you), you still fall for the guy in a white coat with a stethoscope around this neck.

Well the faithful readers amongst you know that my other significant one is somebody who does wear scrubs and yes he has got a stethoscope.  Even a very shiny one.   I already have written an entry about what it is like to be with someone who is doing this for real.   And nope, it is not like it is pictured in any of those series.  It is far from that.   I am even quite sure that P did not sign up for that kind of job because of those series. There is something else that made him decide for the world of medicine.

Now don't you think that we have deepgoing conversations about our jobs.  We hardly have time for that and since I signed now up for more hours that even is harder and harder.  There are even days that we only seem to meet up in the bathroom in front of our mirror and have talks while toothbrushes are planted in our mouths.  Then there are the evenings that he comes in just before the Cinderella hour (midnight) and that I have given into sleep.  Plus there are also the weeks that he is on call and that our lives don't include a lot of socializing.  And it is then that I end up waking him up in the middle of the night when he seems not to hear his phone ringing.  That is what the reality is like of being a partner of a doctor.

I feel lonely in the evenings and weekends are sometimes tough because I want him more at home then he can be.   Oh yes, I knew at the time what I signed up for but there are days that it just seems like we live rather seperate lives.   We both love our jobs and we both take them very seriously.   P&I are perhaps totaly different people.  In some ways we are even extreme opposites.  We don't agree on everything and there are days that we even tend to slam doors.  But we both have in common the drive to do our jobs with pride and also with a dash of perfection.  I am even tempted that P is a perfectionist in most of the things he does.  So I can totaly understand him when it comes down to doing a job and wanting to it as it should be done.

Now don't get me wrong when you start dating a doctor you find out quite soon that his/her profession will be in the way.  I have to admit that I did think that I would get used to it.  Well, was I wrong. I do run sometimes out of energy on Friday evenings and I then want him to be home with me sitting on the sofa. Sometimes I stare at the clock in our living room and wonder if they have forgotten all about time management in med school. DOCS ARE NEVER ON TIME WHEN THEY PROMISE THEY WILL BE ON TIME!  Sorry, I just could not resist!   I needed to get this out of my system.  Not that I want him to cook me four couse dinners or bring home red roses to thank me for the patience I show day in day out.  It is not that.  It is just him not being that much around that once in while makes it hard.

There are even days that when we drive by the private practice that I do get sometimes jealous and that I do wonder if his patients even wonder about us.   No, P has got no picture of me and A standing on his desk.  I don't see the use of that. The days that I pick up the phone and it is a resident, an A&E doc or a patient I do sometimes fire of internal curses.   Chances are very likely that I then loose him for an other half hour or even longer because that is when duty calls and that even at the homefront.  That is when it gets sometimes so tough and that I wonder what it will take to have one day without interruption.

And then there are the days that so many of us have seen in those popular series and that you are granted an insight into the mind of the doctor who faces lose and who shows to the world around him/her that he/she is not superhero and also has got off days.   P has got them and no he does not talk a lot about them.  Are you always the talkative kind after a rather less smooth going day at the office?  I am the one of the two of us who tends to give things a name.  But I also know that I then need to give him time and space to find back his peace of mind.

Stallie seems to have days that she has got the impression that she always has got to share her guy with medicine.  And on days that I ran out of juice I wonder what it will take to be granted priority.  Not that I expect him to choose A&me above responding to an emergency call. That would be unfair.  But can I please have a break once in a while and long for some normality?  After all I also need to be taken care of. I also need a check up once in a while.   Yes, it has crossed my mind more then once to drive over to the private practice and sit in the waiting room.  Believe me there are partners of docs who I know of having done this. But I resist.  It is then that I fight back and push myself just a bit further.

Yes, I do envy the couples that seem to have very straight forward working shedules.   When I stand in line at the supermarket I just wish that he would be there with me instead of having to do this all by myself.  It pops up in my mind when I run from A to B and hope that after I got to C that there will still be time enough to make it to D to finish all the chores on a very busy Saturday when the roads are packed.  Or when P does ask me to do something specific for him that does cost time. Precious time, time that I would rather do this with him and not having to deal with it on my own. Even standing in line at the bakery, where I can't resist counting how many husbands pick up croissants and baguettes for their wives&children, I then consider hard. Buying bread I call a romantic act.  Yeah, call me pathetic.  Team Peeta right here!!! (I am afraid that this last one only can be understood by people who have read 'The Hungergames'.)

Oh I know, I have got A with me and he has no already figured out by himself that his dad is not always that much available as he wishes for.  The evenings that P shows up before his bed time and we can have a quiet dinner without being too many times being interupted by a ringing phone we consider a blessing. Sunday mornings are basically the only morning that we get to spend quality time.   It is the only morning in the week that I do feel like we are a 'normal' family.  It is then that I get to enjoy P his company and that he will prepare me the perfect cup of George Clooney coffee.  It is then the best of both worlds come together: the fiction and the reality.

Stallie is enjoying her Christmas break but can not wait for P to come home tomorow night.  Because then his break starts as well. One that he also longs for. He has deserved it.  A&I will for sure enjoy the quality time we are granted with the inhouse doc.  And who knows my mother might have some misletoe hanging out for us to hang out under! :-) So let me wish all the docs (fictional&not fictional) a very nice Christmas eve!   And to all those docs who have been signed up for being on call:I wish you a silent night!!!


PS: P&I both consider 'The Green Wing' a lovely and funny doctors series.  We both still can LOL when watching it.  The song by Selah Sue (made in Belgium) we also both consider a very nice song and yes 'I am alone without you' that is what it feels like when P is again one more time late!  The one by Billy Joel does not need any extra explanation.  It is a song that defines me. It is song that tell you all why I stick with the guy I fell for...


zaterdag 20 december 2014

I Love My Job!


It is the holiday season and for the moment I am even germ free. I did battle a serious cold just about a week ago and this might mean that for once I will not have a germ filled up holiday season.  One that I have been longing for.  The last few weeks seemed to be just going and going on.  Since September my work load has changed.  Stallie is almost back full time in a school and she did expect not a very easy comeback after being years a person who had cut down on hours for numerous reasons.

The thing is that I do love my job and that loves goes the distance.  There are days that I even love the whole damn bit about it. Even all the things that sometimes make go in overdrive.  Just to give you bit of an idea what can not even make me change my mind about my job:

-A coffee machine that will not work because it ran out of coffee: can be lethal in my case because this teacher needs a caffeine shot before facing the troops.
-A photo copy machine that refuses to work or just runs out of paper when you have just a split second left before show time.
-A hole puncher or stapler who falls apart when preparing worksheets for students and that you know you will get comments about it not being the case.
-A marker that refuses to work when you want to come up with a great board sheme to explain the conjugation of the verb 'zijn' and have 25 student in front of you sitting and you would rather throw that maker all over the place but have to keep in check and then try to explain it without the board.
-A computer who has got a black screen in one room and then refuses to synch with the projector in the other room and then totaly seems to let you down when not charging in the docking station of your office.
-A hard disk that refuses to save your oral exam while in front of you a student is sitting and you start to sweat and your cheeks look even more red then blush I carry along in my hand bag.
-A lunch line that is not moving fast enough to your liking because you have a duty and first want to have a nice hot lunch before facing the cold, rainy & windy weather.
-A cash machine that refuses to 'eat' my 20 euro bill what means that I will go without lunch and the people amongst you who know me personally know what effect that has on me.  No food in my system might mean a teacher who goes easily in overdrive.
-A overhead projector who seems to have a total off day when you have planned a lesson involving the use of it. You then stare at a black screen and I wonder what you have done in order to deserve this.
-A student who expresses its dislike for your subject and you would rather love to hang out on a Hawaian beach with a fruity cocktail and covered under sun screen but instead try to make this student see that knowing an additional language will make him/her a more interesting person.
-A car park that is full and you are forced to park a 5 minute walk from your work due to the fact that they are adding something to our campus that will surely add to  my educational hot spot some sportive atmosphere.  My shoes relfect what my walks are like but I try to picture myself in less then 2 years diving into the water of that spot and that makes up for all the dirt and stains that I now drag along.
-A power cut who turns your usually nicely cozzy and friendly work spot into a dark and rather less warm place to hang out.   (But I have to admit that one day at work without the interference of a mailbox was a positive side effect of something negative!)
- A wasp that decided that the Dutch office was the best spot to hang out.  Yes, the secret vault containing sweet delights makes it a very nice place to be in but Stallie in combo with this insect is not such a winning combination.  Nope,it not got out alive and my paper work is proof of what happened to them.  
-An umbrella who refuses to cooperate when you need to walk to your car after school and by the time you get there your not so waterproof office bag and your hair look like they could use a full make over.  And then have I not mentioned the paperwork inside of the bag that feels rather like it just went for a swim!  
-A voice that decides to take some time off in the beginning and you rather sound like a character out of 'Alvin&the Chipmunks'. I then consider myself not the most efficient teacher ever because if one of your most valuable teaching tools fails then you would rather run to your GP to ask for a few days off. But I am a diehard and then you decide that you will make it work whatever is heading your way. Hey, a few germs don't keep me away from doing what I love doing but it just won't get done as smoothly.

I could go on but I assume that you all get the picture and that I am just very happy when it comes down to my job.  Okay, I am very happy that I can now can have bit a longer sleep and not having to react to my alarm clock that starts to produce noise at an hour you rather wish to hide under the duvet and have nice dreams about beaches or pool bars.  My body and mind were already for a few weeks telling me that they needed some time to recharge.    So now they have arrived the holidays and I am very happy to enjoy some time that I am nobody's teacher but you can rest assured that when 2015 is a fact that I will be back, refreshed and ready to kick some *** in and beyond my class room!  And to all the bad moments or days that are heading my way... I don't easily give up when it comes down when it involves education&love.

PS: Song 1 is very straight forward and song 2 I have chosen because A loves Alvin and when I was battling my cold and tried to produce some sound it did sound a bit similar to these three amigos.