Swimming suits and study books!

Yes, right it has been quite some time ago that you have been able to read something new. It seemed like I was quitting with this blog thingy. The truth is a bit more complicated. For the moment my life can be called rather normal. No tabloids headlines out there where I am! Okay the stockmarket is crashing and our government is still out there on the play ground. And yes, I am still at work in my little school where the grass is still green (the new football field looks magnificent) and the pupils still have stormy days.

About a month ago I seem to have a hard time to guarantee the best entertainment. Five weeks further and it seems like I had never second thaughts. Many collegues were relieved to see me again where I belong (according to them) and most of the pupils seem to count on me. It is bussiness as usual and in two weeks I will be writting my first report card of the year!

But when you take a closer look at my life it has changed. A few months ago I mentioned the chocolate box full of new tastes. Chocolate wise I am a very picky eater! So making up my mind took a while but ........

1. I am back at the gym and the swimming pool!
Once to three times a week I try to create sweaty and smelly clothes by doing a work out.
When Mika his 'Big girls are beautiful' comes out of the speakers I have a bit of a hard time. But no pain no gain! In the morning getting out of bed looks rather like a circus act. All signs that I am rather getting older.

Sporty Spice that I am,the swimming pool of Overijse is also one of the spots where I try to leave behind some calories! Michael Phelps won't consider me a threat but I try to hit the magic number 100. Hurdles that I have to take in order to get there: older ladies in colorful bathingsuits that have their weekly tea in the pool, the Michael Phelps clones who think that they own a lane, the young lovers who even hold hands while swimming and screaming school kids!

DOES IT HELP? yes and no. I feel much better mentally, don't run out of breath as fast BUT my waist still doesn't seem to respond. Patience my dear!!! At least I don't gain any weight and that is a good start.

2. I am back at the university!
15 years ago I went there as well! It took me some courage to go back. Last Friday I had my first classes. Sitting out there in one of these big auditoria was a bit of surrealistic. When some fellow students behind me where planning their girl's scouting weekend I started to feel rather a bit out of place. It all changed when I saw of these ladies that I try to tackle in the swimming pool enter. Relief!!! There are students with more wrinkles then I have!

And yes, I will be doing exams (perhaps even failing the first time), skipping classes (I have to attend the weekly class board meetings!), taking notes (TOLEDO is the newest invention of the university and so now you can find your courses are digital and you have to print them out!) and I will have a student pass to get a discount at the movies but now I even have a car to drive to classes (this also means that I have to find a parking spot)!!!

For me these are two major changes in my rather normal life. It takes some planning and some organisation. A and P do now many more things without me. But the time that we now spend together is even more precious. A is rather funny about it and P very down to earth! Most important is the fact that I have many people out there that support me. I hope that I won't let them down! When I fail then at least I tried. What I already can sense for sure: Mens sane in corpore sano! It only would come in handy if I would be able to study while swimming but then those tea ladies would spill their cups of tea on my notes! Perhaps the safest and closest I will get is studying in my swimming outfit!

Life's a stage!

I am back at work!!! Every year again I have to get used to getting up early and hitting the daily traffic jams in order to get there. But all good things come finally to an end. So last Monday it was business as usually. Dragging me out of bed, trying to face the mirror and the truth that I am getting older, packing my lunch and hope that I have all the things I need to survive my first day back.

When I arrived at the gate I suddenly I realised that I had forgotten my keys. Hate that feeling! The sensation of being dependent on others. The prospect of not getting into my own work environment and having to ask help of others made me feel rather low. One of my nice collegues let me in and I also found an other teammember who was so kind to open up my classroom.

When I opened the door I felt kind of akward. Like we had to make friends again. Last June I had packed up my things, printed out the last report card, filled out the last file and unplugged all my electronic devices, closed the windows and emptied out my dustbins, cleaned my blackboard and then closed the door feeling rather upbeat.

There I was standing in the middle of my familiar stage, knowing that in about 45 minutes the theatre would be filled up with an audience that was going to be critical then ever and bringing in new insights into life that will for sure colide with my facts of life. Outside it was still quiet and the sky colored rather greyish but I knew that was going to change for sure.

Yes, I have tried to leave this players guild because I need a new challenge in my life. The part that I play now has grown on me. It has become a second skin. Not that I want to ripp it off but I want to try out an other costume and see if the part fits me as well as the one of being a teacher.

The promises that I have made to myself at the beginning of the summer I kept. Writting a cv, applying for a job, studying for it and going to face the enemy for the job interview itself. It was quite an adventure and took over mentally mainly my summer break. Nightmares, blackouts, being afraid of forgetting my lines, writer's block (there was a written part) and sweaty palms I got it all.

So 'I moved the cheese'!!!! It is one of my favourite expressions in the English language, meaning that you try to find a new challenge in life and show to others (including future employers) what you are worth. In this case I am the cheese looking for new starving mice that are out there sniffing to find a new taste sensation.

In the end the news was broken by one of those calls you try to block out as long as possible. One of the friendly mice of the jury told me that I did not get the job. They were tempted by the smell, the aroma and the color of the cheese but according to them it needed to lay a bit longer to get the right taste. There were fifteen other cheeses and I ended up in top rankings!

Not that quite bad for cheese that has told herself that only hungry pupils wanted to have her on their sandwiches! The days after I felt down not knowing what to feel, like I was lost in the fridge!

Opening up the filing cabinets and the windows, looking for some chalk to write down my familiar opening lines, checking out of all my buttons were still there on my costume, were all things I did trying to find the right que. When the stage bell will be ringing to call me on stage I will took a deep breath and walk out to face my audience. I know the lines, the stage, the cast, the scriptgirl, the director, the make up artist, the catering, the crew and the stage manager.

This year it feels rather different. I have been outside my familiar surroundings and challenged myself. I feel a bit like Bell (The Beauty and the Beast), 'There must be more than this provincial life!' Yes, I caught a glimpse of the beast and it felt so right. The lights go out, the audience goes quiet and the curtains go up, all I need to do now is walk out there and utter those so familiar words:'Welcome back! I am Mrs Stalmans, your teacher!'