Raising the future!

A will be six in a few weeks. He will get his first real birthday party with friends of school! Also I ordered a very special cake that he pointed out once on my computer screen! Time flies, I guess! I can still remember the day that he got out of me. It was not the delivery I dreamed of. The best sound of all were his first cries because that were hopeful signs that he was going to make it out there in the world. While I was lying there I just sensed that I had to trust the world that he was going to make it. Did I panic? Did I cry? Did I go mental? Nope!!! You can be sure that it sucked to end up all by myself in a room where everything says 'baby' but I had no choice.

The rest is history and I do consider that period of time one of my turningpoints in my life! If young mothers talk about their instinct I sometimes look at them like they come from a different planet! 'I would never manage to leave my child alone!', is a classic. For me that was reality from day one on. In the beginning I felt a bit guilty that I was not able to be there for him 24 hours straight but still I do think personal that it helped me to become a better parent as well.

'Uhm, sorry to break the news to you but you will have to let you kid go!! And you will be fine!', I then reply to those nervous mums who constantly keep an eye on their babies and go almost pschyo when it moves a wink. Most of the time I don't get a reaction but eyes tell me enought that they don't trust me.

The last six years I had to let go A tons of times. Still a learning curve but when I take a look at him I do feel very proud of him. Highlights in the last 72 months of letting him grow up:

- Taking his first steps! I was holding my breath and was ready to get the champagne out! He was now ready to put on his walking shoes and discover the world on two feet! You should see him now when he puts on his very cool shoes.

- Getting christened! For me this was a very important day. Also I was so happy that N and L were there to pledge their commitment to A. In case something happens to me and/or P I am very sure that these people will raise him the way I would!

- Riding a bike without suport wheels. This was tough and I held my breath numerous times. 'Please A, be careful there are cars! Watch out for the cat! Wait for me at the end of the street!' were just a few sentences that I screamed all over the place. Guess that my child felt a bit like Richard driving with his loving wife Hyacinth Bucket next to him!

- Going to kindergarden! That was a quatumleap for me. I carried him many times to the gate of the play area where I had to leave him behind. He then found out that showing a sad face and tears did something to me. You can be sure that I sometimes just ran for my car because I could not deal with that sight! Now he is the one who tells me that I don't need to talk him by his hand when we walk to school. 'Mum, that is not cool!'

- Swimming lessons! Every week we look forward to that half an hour of Coralie but it is scary to see him going under. Today he dived into the water without any help. Did I feel proud of him! But hey, he did that not me!

- Leaving him behind with family or friends! When I flew to NYC and got out of the car at the airport I asked my sister in law to take care of him in case something would happen to us. 'You will come back! Don't worry!!!', she replied. I do admit that I am not the mum that will call every five minutes to find out if he is fine, sleeping okay and eating his vegies but you can be sure that A always travels along my side. And yes, I do spoil him with presents to make up for my absence!

Seeing A growing up is a very worthwhile adventure and do consider myself blessed when I look in his blue eyes! I do feel happy when he just says loud out that he loves me! I do feel completely at ease when I hear him at night breathing calmly surrounded by an army of cute stuffed animals!

Nowdays we walk less and less hand in hand over the streets of life but I do feel ready to let him go off and discover all the facts about this one time adventure! And I feel so priveledged that A loves me as one of his wingmen!!!! We are flying high, high up in the sky!'

Happy!!!????

About a week ago I was in the Ardennes and drinking one of their delicous beers (La Choufe) in the company of many 'special' principals and educational supervisors. It were for sure three filled up days and I got to take home tons of new information to use in my workfield. And the best thing of all was that I got to go home with feeling at least 10% happier before I arrived. That was a pledge made in the conference folder.

Uhm, yeah right like they can actually make you do that? Well, they did but with the help of a rather inspiring person who happens to be intrigued by that one feeling that we constantly chase after in our daily lives: happiness!

During his more then 2,5 hour talk this person managed to let me laugh out loud, giggle, gasp, shiver, doubt and cry! Not many educational specialist have managed to do this.

He gave us tons of tips how to be a happier person but there were no catches involved because most of these were very average things. No secret potion or a prescription you can run of to the pharmacist's. Nope! Believe me it works to start your day with saying goodmorning and embrace what you do have and not just where you long for. It does work to open up you life for others and to put some energery in a good cause or mission. Having a hamster,dog,cat at home and spoiling it to bits can make you a happier person! An extra huge or kiss can save your life and make you loose calories! Being proud of your heritage and your family tree can also do the trick.

Especially the things he told about moaning, complaining and being stressfull made sense. 'Action speaks louder then words', is such a cliché but how many times have you made a pledge that was not that straight forward? 'I need to spend more time with my family' or 'This Sunday after breakfast I go swimming with my kids' are two completely different options. Also the power of music is still underestimated and so letting the radio play way you work can make you a more productive and positive human being.

Sleep and eating fruit are also not that hard to do! Hey, a kiwi is so much tastier then brussels sprouts and it can make you smile. Having pen and paper always around!!! So next time when people stare at you while you are noting down things in your Moleskine just stare back and smile! Those notes might be the beginning of something bigger. Museumvists or talking a stroll through a parc it can be a start of a new adventure.

Most of these things don't cost a fortune! Some are even for free!! But many of us do now pay for magazines that are full of these tips in order to become happier. For under 5 euros you get a list of handmade furniture, the TOP 10 of the nicest beaches on the globe and a recipe of an extra-ordinary exotic tasting fruitsalade!

Most of this stuff was there before but we seem to just pass them by and need a magazine to put our noses back in the right direction!!! Uhm, one look at my house and I do find them all over the place! Guess that I need to get into action instead of just reading them. And yes even on the cover of 'Psychologist' magazine they photoshop the people!!

Doing most of these things in the company of friends makes you hit the roof! And therefor are reunions, weddings, birthdays, parties not just excuses to get people together they can add magic to your life! Because with them you not only share the bad times but also the good times in order to survive the more gloomy ones.

Because you do have the right to feel miserable, less upbeat, down, depressed, let down by many, sadd, hearbroken, failed, grumpy but a half hour of the day should be more enough of those emotions. It is not easy but hey you only have one life and I have seen enough to know it can be over in a second. Lock the 'moangoat' up for the day and then go out there in the world and be the happy individual and it is contagious. I have felt it in a room of more then 100 sceptical people.

So no wonder that Ernie walks around with a banana in his ear and makes you smile! And damn right that Obama wants to meet the Daila Lama! You can be sure that after a half hour talking about politics they will discuss the facts that realy matter and make them feel enlightened! So bring on the bananas!!!

P.S: For the still very sceptical ones amongst us and the ones who need scientific proof of these facts: most of this stuff is proven by scientists!!! Check out: www.theworldbookofhappiness.com or google Leo Bormans!

P.S.2: My quote widget was very fitting that day: 'Some cause happiness wherever they go, some whenever they go!' Oscar Wild