Being an edcuational advisor: chapter I

I am a wreck for the moment and I even met some people who made some comments about the way I looked. So guess that I am tired! Because the last few days I did put some extra time in my educational supervising job. Hours that were worthwhile and that I really enjoyed. Some of them I just spend in front of my tiny computer (that still not gives away all its secrets! Seems I have to tame the shrew!) and on the phone.

When I started out a few months ago I felt a bit out of place amongst colleagues that are working in a field that I did (and still) not know that well as they do. Thanks to some very nice people who were prepared to give it a go with me, gave me some time to find the right paste and also don't expect of me to be a wizard with a gigantic artillery of trics to use in case of an emergency I do now feel already more the educational supervisor that I hoped to be. I am not there yet but it have been for sure some good months.

Looking back the next few things come to mind:

-I do get lost when I drive to a new school but I do know that the next time I will come I will find it straight away! UHM!!! I hope....
-I do feel still a bit out of place but I do keep my mind open for tons of new ideas.
-I do not find a straight answer to every single question but I do feel confident enough to say out loud that I am not the genius.
-I do get upset when people think that I have an easy job but I do know that many people just don't know what they are talking about.
-I do know that people talk behind my back and make funny remarks about my ambitions but I do know that it is my life and not theirs that I always have to take into consideration.
-I do find the educational world very fascinating but I do know that there are always two sides to every story!
-I do meet people that are very selfish if it comes to sharing expertise and material but I do recognise myself in this attitude!
-I do meet tons of people that can't think outside the box but I do have tons of patience to listen to their side of the story.
-I do have to listen more then I need to talk but I do learn more then I ever would if I had to talk the whole time!
- I do feel now that I did make the right decission that September afternoon!

It is a sign!

As an educational supervisor I need to drive to many unknown destinations. This is a real challenge for a person who only obtained her license only 6 years ago! These car trips I do consider a bit like an adventure. I do try to be prepared before taking off. Besides some extra fluids and some candy to survive when getting stranded I take along a print out of the driving directions. Because I still am one of those rather pathetic individuals who tries to survive without the sensual voice of the GPS.

Not that I have not tried to obtain one. I even begged P a few times to buy one of those intelligent electronic devices. P then goes on about he likes the driving sensations like discovering new places. Yes, P thinks that being a good driver is someone who needs no GPS and still uses the most elementary device of all: instinct!!
Needless to say but P then seems to forget very easily the many less pleasant conversations we had in the car while we were driving into the country side.

Most of the time they go like this:
P:"I think it must be somewhere around here!'
S:"Hmm! Okay, you are the driver!" (But thinking instead: ‘We are going to be late!!!!!)
P:"Do you think it is around here?"
S:'P, how can I know? I have never been here by car! Have you not looked up the directions!?"
P:"Hey, I have been working the whole day! So, no!"
S:"You better give them a call, telling them we are going to be late!"
P:"I am sure! It should be somewhere around here!"
S:"I think it is not! Just call them and ask them for directions." (Thinking:'You don't dare, do you! Because then they make fun of you!)
P:"Where is the map? Take a look at it to find out where we are!"

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! By this time I am almost getting completely out of control. First of all because this scene takes places most of the time between 7 and 8 in the evening and we are both low on sugar. And in the need for food!
Second of all I then am asked to find our way on a map! I do believe that women their brains are not equipped with orientation tools!

I am then the one who uses her visual memory by pointing out that we already have passed by for the 4th time this petrol station and that we should try to find a certain building that our friends have mentioned that is close by their house. In most cases we then find their dwellings because I am the one who can remember what car they drive! Or what color their house is!

So yes in most cases I can rely on my visual memory to find the right way. But this week I have the distinct impression that this trait is failing me. I got lost twice in one week! One time I managed to drive around for more than half hour in a radius of 2 km before turning into the right street. Another time I just couldn’t remember the street names of the streets! Especially that last one worries me. I had been there before numerous times!

In both cases I had to use a helpline and it made me feel a bit out of tune. Okay, it is not the end of the world to get lost but if you are so close to your target and then can't find it, it is rather ridiculous! By the time I walked into the apartment of my friends to enjoy a nice and tasty brunch I had to be prepared to face some less funny jokes about people getting lost.


Best remark of that lunch was: ‘you better let people know on your Facebook status that you got home safely!' Hahahaha!! By the time that I was digesting a tasty croissant I started to recall my last car adventures! Hum, yes this must be a sign that it is time to invest some money in a GPS! But I would prefer one with the voice of George Clooney!

I vaguely recall someone telling me that they have a GPS especially designed for women with interesting maps for us to use! Perhaps this could be the perfect birthday gift for P to get me but then getting lost is in a sense discovering new things: like a tiny little shop where they sell awesome cool stationary or a bakery where they sell yummy looking miniatures pies that look as art work. Guess that the GPS won't gain priority status on my wish list! So sorry in case I call you to help me out with directions! I love getting lost!! It makes my life so much more exciting!

The big black hole

I am not afraid of many things but I do admit that the dentist is still one of them.
When I was little I had nightmare about the guy and I remember that I just wanted to kill him when he was stuffing one of those tampons into my mouth. Also the drilling sound and the saliva that was vacuumed out of my mouth made a trip even less appealing.
But once the guy became more then just the dentist I had to change my attitude about his profession. During my teens he was the one who asked if I wanted to babysit his 3kids. So suddenly I had to brush my teeth in the house of my dentist and I was even having breakfast in his company!
There was even this time that I was spending more time at his house then anywhere else. By the time I left for the States his family even considered themselves my fosterfamily! Of course it was a bit weird to walk in for a cup of tea and then unexpectedly land in that torture chair; 'Sorry dear, I thaught I saw somthing. But I guess I was mistaken!' My teeth got the five star treatment.
So right now I am in a pickle because I need a dentist and pronto! The last few days I started to get this strange sensation in my mouth that there was something going on. I called my DD (dear dentist) to make an appointment and got one a few weeks away form today. The nice assistent over the phone convinced me that I would be fine and that my tooth would be still going strong. I believed her and just put the phone down and then got into the car to pick up A and right there at school while parking my car I felt suddenly half of my tooth but not where it belonged.
Now I am sitting here with in my mouth more than one half tooth less, a very strange sensation in there, a filling in my back pocket of my jeans and in my Molleskine a dentist appointment next to tiny birthday cake that I put there to mark my birthday!
So I am going to celebrate my birthday in the chair of the dentist but I bet that she will advice me not to have any birthdaycake after I will leave her office with a newly shaped tooth! Guess that is for sure is going to be a birthday that I am not going to forget easily. Just don't hope it is going to be most painful of all!

I HATE.....

One of the cartoons I loved to watch when I was a child was 'de Smurfen'. I had some issue with the fact that there was only one Smurfin but still I did like those blue little creatures and Gargamel I would have strangled if I had caught him torturing one of them. The cat Azarel would have been given the benefit of the doubt because I am diehard catlover! One of my favourite smurfs still is 'Haat-smurf'. All he does basically is saying:'I hate surprises! or 'I hate Smurf-berries!' or 'I hate jokes!'.

Being hate-smurf seems to come in handy when you do hate some things. So please forgive but for the next few lines I am going to be hate-smurf.

-I hate colds!!! Tissues all over the place!
-I hate people don't wait for their turn at a shop! Lately I make a sport out of it. 'Seems you are in a hurry and so do I. But I guess that you have tons of reasons to take my place', does do wonders. Need some extra courage to do this but the reactions are sometimes to LOL!!
-I hate people who consider my Opel Corsa as the best car to get in front of on the highways! Seems that my car works like a magnet and I believe now that size does matter on the road.
-I hate people who pretend they have not seen you and did make eyecontact and on top of that know you! In shops it drives me wild. Sometimes I wonder if it would help that I would jump over the counter and help myself. Or that I would just scream somebody her or his name very cheerful when he/she is ignoring me.
-I hate people who always manage to say what they think but don't expect of you the same. Sometimes they don't even give me the opportunity to react. The faces that they showed me when I did talk back and told them very plainly my side of the story told it all!
-I hate rain! Not a single umbrella seems to get me out of trouble. In my possesion tons of umbrellas that look rather arty farty but won't let me stay dry out there.
-I hate slow working computers or computers that don't work at all. Not to mention temp files that suddenly seem to have vanished into thin air!
-I hate it when people break, take away, borrow stuff that is mine without telling me! Sometimes personal belongings disappear out of my class room or even wardrobe or kitchen and not a single soul can give me extra info on their whereabouts. Perhaps filling out an extra form could do the trick. Some people do need help to make the transition!
-I hate brussels sprouts and eggs and I did try them over and over again and it never agreed with me. The eggs even make me throw up. So if you ever invite me over for breakfast or dinner please forgive me that I don't give you any nice comments about these dishes.
-I hate people who ask me questions that they can answer for themselves before I had one cup of coffee. Tons of questions I had to answer in my life of this kind and I wonder if some people think that those are intelligent questions.
-I hate prejudice. Figures that one if you have written a dissertation on 'Pride&Prejudice'. But I do believe in first impressions and group dynamics! So fascinating to observe and I love it when people dare to speak openly about this.
-I hate people who make personal jokes and then tell you that is only a joke!!! Yeah right and I am the pope! A good joke should always be funny so no excuses there!
-I hate people who don't keep their word/promises. I know that this is perhaps also one that is the hardest to keep myself. But many times people have promised me something and they have taken it back! 'We know Stallie, that you don't mind but....',can only make it worse! Inside I am then a vulcano and you should see me then at the other end of the phone or in my car. Ready to go mental!
-I hate lists with no purpose what so ever! Uhm, guess that is a one that does not stand anymore! I LOVE LISTS!!!! Like this one! Wonder if 'Haatsmurf' loves being 'Haatsmurf'?

They are back!

'The Belgians are back', one of the Australian newspapers headed! At the beginning of the week I was a bit nervous for the fierce girl of Wépion! It is one of the comebacks of the year and so I guess that Juju was for sure not the most calm player out there. So every morning I woke with the news and was a bit eager to know what Kim and Justine did out there in Brisbane! The two of them seemed to be in a winning mood. Some started to talk of a final. And yes, Friday morning it turned into be a fact: Juju would be playing against one of her old enemies on the court: Kim!

Because I am one of those fans who sometimes just can't stand the heat while watching the game I decided to let A have the opportunity to watch some breakfast television. Just so that I would not be tempted to turn on the TV and get distracted. But like always an other medium made go completely wild about that encounter: the radio.

By the time that the two players got into the 2nd set I was once more the the stress chicken! If I would ever end up in a stadium while these two ladies are playing a final then you will have to pump some Valium into me because otherwise I will be asked very politely by the tennis fans to leave the building!! Even our house is too small to hide.

So then I had to convince A that we had to watch this and that was not easy. But then he decided that he was going to cheer for Kim and we had a deal! What I witnessed was just like in the old days: pure suspense and two players fighting for each ball! Loved the split and the ralleys. When P came and saw the score we both conclued that Juju was going for the kill! But after a very exciting third set and a very suspensful tiebreak it was Kim to hold up her hands in the air.

God, I had missed this for quite some time: the fierce look in Kim her eyes, her split, Justine her breathtaking backhand, her endurance to go after even a lost ball, her wild look in her eyes. For sure this was a winning weekend for the Belgian out there. Also 'Whoopie' Yanina won in New Sealand!

Welcome back Justine and thanks Kim for the very emotional speech. Brisbane will for sure adopt you when needed because donating your prizemoney to their children's hospital is also very nice way to give something back to the world you play in. Respect!! I feel in my bones that 2010 will be for sure a very 'special' tennis year!

P.S.: Please forgive me for hiding behind a couch when we would ever end up watching a game together. It is just my way of handling the supsense.

Don't take it personal!

It is quite obvious when you run into me I am in a very down mood. Can't help it and it is not that somebody has died. It is the time of the year that I get so out of tune by just looking at the people and when I sit down an listen at most of them I want to take of asap and head for a plane that takes me to the end of the world.

Yesterday I told P that all that I want is that people leave me alone for a few weeks and that I would love to digg a big hole in our back yard in order to hibernate there till... He gave this so analyzing look of his and told me in his very dry mode that he would love to do the same. In the back ground there was a 5 year old who was diving into bathtub and is enjoying bathing bubbles. Guess that I have to count him out. A is having a ball for the moment and still going strong.

So this girl is fed up with tons of stuff. Anger managment would for me be the right course to take in order that I don't hurt people.

Hey, I am teacher and blessed with tons of breaks and that is nice but sometimes vacations can tire you out. I loved tons of moments this Holiday season but there were also some of these situations that I would like to errase from my hard disk.
Dezember was so much fun and I am even tempted to catalogue some of those as my most precious moments ever! A month to cherish for the rest of my life but at the same moment my fatalistic trait poped up (very frighting because then I act so much as my dad!) and that takes me to less fun places.

I LOVED:
- the drive to home for xmas with my car packed with presents and stuff to survive a snowstorm. A headbanging A in the back added some extra touch to this ride. Especialy when 'Last Xmas' of Wham was on!
- the snow!!! Even when we had to walk A through a snow storm to make it to a birthday party. We looked as eskimos. The walk P and I had that day was a bit like we were having a stroll through Winter Wonderland. And P made me feel so proud when he helped out stranded drivers. Good boy!!!!!
- looking for, buying and wrapping presents: the mission of the year is finding the perfect presents for friends and family. And this time I also treated myself! And P even drove me to Waterstone's in order to ge my new Moleskine diary (the right kind!!!) and the fact that I got to buy dolls for once to hand over to my nieces was a very 'make me feel good-moment'. The dolls even made me ignore some rather known people standing next to me at the cash register! Can you tell that I would have loved a daughter!?
- writing xmas cards and our traditional newsletter. It is a tradition and tons of people let me know weeks before hand that they look forward to receiving and reading it. Tons of research goes into these pages but for the very first time it ended up in a three page letter instead of two! So no writer's block in sight! Rereading it I do consider 2009 a very good year for the three of us!
- the xmas tree in my mother's living room! It was huge and it was obvious she had spend quite some time decorating that evergreen. A went bezerk when he saw it and he dragged every visitor into living room in order to witness this newest piece of furniture.
- Doing the typical stuff people do for the holidays: eating too much food! I gained weight and I am now on a diet! That will get very serious once my birthday has passed! Highlights of the diningtable were the xmas dessert my mum made and the cheese platter D&M made for us at Old Year's Eve (the one with truffle taste was heavenly) in the company of the best bottle of dessert wine I ever drank!
- Calling H! Was so nice to hear her this break. We discussed once more tons of stuff and yes during this period of the year I miss her and tons of friends over there a great deal. I can't listern to a single xmas carol without having a memory of xmas time in the States.

So where did it go wrong, you might wonder? Well,....
- P who ended up working again more hours that he had promised. No surprises there but still it stinched a bit when he came home much later then promised. Sorry but then I got so upset again and all I want him to say that he knows that patients will always have the priveledge to get him first hand. Yes, I don't mind but I do want him to admit it openly. It is a fact and I am not stupid but it has got consequences like having him not home tons of moments when you would love to share the holiday cheer with him!

- I lost tons of files when P moved the contence of my old computer to my new one. I cried my eyes out because the nice 3 minute recording I made of my mother and sis at Zürich See discussing shoes, sausages, mountains, Bern&Basel,...... GONE!!! And top of the bill: our complete addresslist! So for more then 2 days I was in no mood to write a single xmas card. P explained very calmly that this must have been a 'temp file'. So this means that I have been using a temporary file for more then 5 years!???? GONE!!! A very sensible friend of me gave me the advice to get me a nice address booklet and copy them the old fashioned way! Uhm, and what if my purse gets stolen or I can't find it when I need it?

- STRESS: it even found it's way back into my body. My back aches again and that is also due to the fact that it is freezing days in a row and that I did some forbidden things like walking around on high heels and slept on the floor on a matrass because A and nephew D wanted to sleep in the big bed to share bedtime secrets. I even had some sleepless nights because I needed to be brave once more and God was I frightned this time!

- Going out of control because I just can't understand certain people their way of thinking and acting. 'I AM NOT STUPID!!!!!', was perhaps Stallie her punchline of the season. Tons of moments I wanted to strangle certain individuals and my mind was filled up very dark thaughts. Don't get me wrong! Xmas is for sure the season to have your mind filled up with peace,love& joy! IT IS ONLY VERY HARD TO KEEP THIS GOING STRONG WHEN TONS OF PEOPLE ARE NOT ACTING THAT WAY!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
I am so fed up with some things, situations and people and not just close by. Nope even universal! This girl takes stuff most of the time personal and sorry for me there is no other way around it. When I tell somebody that I love or like him/her then I mean this 1000%. It only very odd to see people reacting when I do tell them that I am not amused, not feeling upbeat, rather down, not patient, upset, dissapointed and other rather less upbeat feelings. They then give me this look! Hey, I was ready to listen to you, make you a cup of coffee, spend hours on the phone, feeling empathy for you, calming you down, etc and now you don't get me??? None comprende?????? DO I NEED TO DRAW YOU A PICTURE??? I am the one who needs a cup of tea, wants to be asked sincerly 'How are you feeling today?', wants to be hugged more then just once. God, I must sound so pathetic!!!

Don't worry it will pass because you know what I did have myself a little xmas.
After we had macaroni and cheese for xmas eve dinner we dressed us up to face the freezing cold and got in the car. My mum drove A and me to train station where we got out of the car. It was so silent outside and we had passed tons of houses where I was able to peek through the window and witnessing the classic moments around the table and xmastree. Once we arrived we walked to platform 1 where a train was due
to arrive at 10 past 10! When it came A just started to jump up and down and screaming his lungs out! I got so warm inside to see those sincere emotions. My mum had a smile on her face that not often can be witnessed. When one of the carriage their doors opened and we saw sis, daughter, auntie L standing there with a very warm glow around her I WAS 200% HAPPY!!! Right there I did feel the miracle of xmas and nothing was fake! We kissed and huged and it felt right to be home for xmas. It will be that feeling that will make me overcome the rather less nice ones!!

SO DON'T TAKE IT PERSONAL!!! , does not work for me especially at xmas time!!! Is this clear??? For once and for ever!!!????