As a teacher I do use the expression here above more then I wish for. And as a parent I also found out that I need to check a million times with A if he got the message straight! 'If you stop doing this, I will be stopping doing that!', I told him this morning.
A was making up strange sounding rhyme words that had a stinky smell to them. On top of that was a three year old one and his mum walking in front of us who looked quite puzzled of the issues I was having with my son. But hey, I do consider foul language not the most appropriate way of walking into school.
Me:'A please, stop doing that, okay!!'
A:'Hey, Stinky Winky!!! Lalalalala!'
Me:'It is Tinkywinky and not Stinky Winky!'
A:'Stinky Winky, Stinky Winky!'
Me:'Please, stop saying that!'
A:'No, you stop saying that!'
Me (by this time I was turning red):'No, if you stop I will stop! That is how simple it is! Is that clear?'
A (looking very puzzled):'No, that is not clear!! One two three four five six, keutel!'
Me(by now I wanted to run of):'Stop it, I don't consider this funny!'
We had managed to pass the duo in front of us and A then showed me his cutest smile and send me away with an extremely wet kiss!!! While walking to the car I came to think of the fact that many things that we do consider rather simple or/and straight forward are not!
No need to think that far before I do encounter something that can be easily solved but still is not. I feel rather devastated lately because so many people don't seem to notice what I do. It is like I am walking through a desert where I only meet a few people who seem to share the same instincts.
The bright sun and clear sky seem to blind still most people who have the force to change things. It would not matter that much if my heart would not tell me that it does matter what is happening around me. It would make me less disappointed if I knew what these humans inspires to act the way they do! It would inject me with more energy and aspirations if I would feel trusted and taken seriously. It would turn my daily habits into something that still feels like a mission instead of a dragging activity.
I am lost out there because the spot where I found a long time ago inspiration, motivation, principles and values to live by, energy, hope against all the odds and tons of other very clear defining forces seems to have vanished. It seems to be out of reach because it seems more likely only a 'fata morgana'! Once I reach for that old image and think that we can rekindle all that what seemed to be lost, it vanishes with the next sand storm.
For the moment I feel like many people still don't dare to go to the core of it all! It takes courage and tons of faith to go to that one spot where we find the solution and face new challenges! Fear and disbelief still are in the way while I dare to walk along that road! I have tried to rub out the sand of their eyes but they seem still to fight back and hide!
While waiting out there they only thing I can do is hoping for a miracle and putting on my sun glasses! Two items that help me to find the right direction in my life! Deep down I do know what way I need to take but for the moment I am still applying sun screen and wearing an umbrella in the hope that that most of my fellow travel companions to dare to take of their sunglasses!!
'Stinky Winky!!!! One, two,three, four, five, KEUTEL!!', I think is A his way of dealing with the world!! Very simple, very straigh forward, no complications, no miss communication because those sentences stimulated communication. My son still talks to me and he still does it very clearly!!! T! As a mother I am blessed!!!
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