'In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.' (Robert Frost)
vrijdag 22 juli 2011
Show Me Those Hands
P, A and I packed up our personal belongings and decided that we needed to face the rain somewhere else in order to survive this dramatic looking summer. So we ended up in Zeeland. A was so funny that just before take off that he was wondering if we had to board a plane in order to get there. 'No, we are not going to Nieuw Zeeland. We are going to the 'old' one. That one is just around the corner.'
We had for sure a very nice time out there with our very good friends B&I. And we even sat outside to have our meals. A even managed to 'swim' in the ice cold water because he just did not wish to listen to his dad. We had a real good time and managed to stay dry most of the time. Umbrellas were not used for over 24 hours!!!
The moment we got back on the Belgian highways rain hit the car. I was so much tempted to make P turn back but we did not have a choice. I was trying to keep myself in check by thinking that we kind of escaped the notorious 'drache nationale'. That I had not been on any digital tools for more then 24 hours was also very nice. Suddenly we saw 38 busses at the other side of the high way passing by. The Belgian troops were heading back to their baracks after getting soaked while saluting to their king.
This year I even skipped listening to the anual speech of my king because I figured that the media would give me the full scoop and that there was going to be a lot to be said about the content of it. So last night I did dive into the speech while I was sipping of my sunny Cuba Libre. I then found out that Albert II his body language was over the top. It did seem to be noticed that our rather calm king for once overdid it by using his hands. And that only when he was talking Dutch.
Yes, we do give away partly what we think and feel like by the use of our body. I am not only talking about our facial features. No, our hands can be talkative tool when we are silent. In my classroom I do take the time to observe my audience and I have more then once discovered some very controversial facts about my pupils. What they were saying did not go along with what their body parts were screaming. For the people who ever watched series like 'The Mentalist' and 'Lie To Me' to know that even crime investigators pay attention to this in order to get the 'bad' guy.
So apparently our king had also discoverd this communication tool. But he seemed to have something overseen and that did kind of backfires now at him. I must admit that I think that we do need to take good care of our hands. I love P his caring and smooth hands. My hands are also one of my hallmarks. When I was starting to lose weight a friend of mine said:'You will get back those longer fingers that are so typically you!' LOL When my sis her company made the news her hands ended up in close up and did a pupil point out that her hands did look so much alike mine. It was the first time that I took a very close look at the hands of my sister. And yes, this pupil was so right!
The thing is that it does surprise me that we still miss out on this kind of language when it matters most. It seems that we will 'use' it only when it already to late and hope that it can tell something that we perhaps have missed out on. Film directors seem to have already understood this. The language of hands has no screts when they try to get the message across the white screen. I will never forget the close up hands of Mr Darcy in the most recent movie adoptation of 'Pride and Prejudice'.
Personal I always had this thing going for guys like Mr Darcy. They are not who they seem to be at first glance, hide out behind a very dark facade, are very hard to read, go ballestic when they feel 'wronged', are very economic when it comes down to using words, seem to be bored most of the time, feel out of place in most places they are forced to hang out at, and many more less outstanding features. But oh boy, do they master the body language! And hands are on top of all.
It is funny then to state that most men to fall asleep when you mention a Jane Austen book. Their body language then tells you that they just do not wish to care and that these books are so out dated. Chances are when you, being a woman in a romantic mood wish to spend the night with Mr Darcy on the couch your lover boy will leave the living room asap. Half of the global population does not get it where this obession comes from. But what they seem to forget that most of them wish to be one.
Emma Thompson did once point out in an interview that she thinks that on the male dating front nothing much has changed. Men are still chasing after their prey and even the most femenistic woman amongst us wants to be swept of her feet when she is woed by a man. And who does not wish to be told he/she is loved for what she/he does stand for? Mr Darcy might be an illusion but it is one that still stands the test of time.
So that Matthew McFadyen, alias Mr Darcy, had to use his hands to get his point across to his audience and Lizzie did not surprise me. In the books you need to read between the lines quite often to get what he is after in a woman or in a general. Dancing at that time was all about hands. It was holding on and then letting go, it was allowing to be touched but at the same time setting out the borders that could not be crossed lightly without being told off. The gloves that women and men were wearing at the time did have more then just one function. In a way they were an extra 'hurdle' to get over before getting closer to someone.
I do think it is rather funny that men do go blind when they are asked to pay attention to these rather smaller details. Hands give away so much but when told they just ignore the signs. So when our king did use his hands we all seem to have been able to read what he was trying to tell us. It was obvious that this 'calm' person was a kind of losing his patience. There was even a fist going into the air. Rather harsh body language to be used by an impartial leader. He kind of crossed a certain line and I just wonder if he did notice this himself?
Many of us were kind of outraged by this body language. After all he is the king and in any circumstance can't give away his personal feelings when making political statements. That our monarch did give himself away by using his hands is no surprise. The fact that we for once do seem to notice just tells me that we only wish to read this kind of language if it seems to serve a certain purpose. Or when we do pay close attention.
Yes, I do personal think that king Albert II should have been using his hands as well when he was talking French. Why did he suddenly hide those hands? Why did he back of of using body language that won't for once be not mistaken by any of us? Perhaps he should have better acted like his colleagues Queen Beatrix of the Netherlands and Queen Elisabeth of England. When they go out in the limelight to deliver a speech they tend to hold out on to a gigantic piece of paper. It seems like they rather keep off using those hands of going into the air. Sorry guys, but once more is proven that women seem to be so much better in communication skills!
Please beware the next time you do use your hands to get a message across because not all of us master this communication skill. So ladies and gentlemen, show me those hands because they do tell more then you will ever bargain for. And what about some dancing hands? Mr Darcy and Lizzie would for sure have enjoyed this one tremendously.
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