Over the last 6 months I have taken a step back from this spot to find out what makes me trigger and when do I snap into my Darth Vader modus and am so tempted to use my light saber to express my frustrations and opinion. I still fail big time to find my zen modus that I will need big time. Especially now that the world around me is dealing with a v-word that is not easily to be controlled. It will first get a lot worse we are told before it will get better. That now scientists (no I do not know any of them personal) even are telling is to stop comparing the statistics to the flu is not making any easier.
People who know me a bit better is that by every single outbreak of the flu or of a virus I do go mentaly in overdrive. When Ebola showed up on the radar I just lost it big time. So yes, I do panic I do. No, I do not wish to be one of those 1%-2% (there are even statistics to be found that will tell you that the death rate is even higher) who dies. I also worry about the people I hold close to my heart and work with. Hey, I am only human. It is easy and very tempting to do the maths when it comes down to Covid-19. After all at the moment not that much is know about that little tiny thing that is invisible to the bare human eye and that causes total havoc.
Yes, people are stocking up and even I have done some shopping myself. I plead guilty on that account! Still, I don't have one single mouth mask and so when I start to run a fever and coughing as crazy I might infect others. After all I might already be a carrier. Yes, I have been in Italy last week and momentarily there is one reported case in the region where I have been. Mentaly that number is already enough to make me go mental. Believe me I can not put this into perspective because at the moment there does not seem to be that much perspective. Science is not offering us a 'waterproof and fully secured' life line to hold on to and the media is bascially reporting non stop about what just fuels the creation a dark jungle in which you easily can get lost.
Not healthy either and that then the WHO (yes, many of us do not trust those fellows and I get that. Still imagine that there would be not such an organisation we now would scream for it!) called it not only a physical challenge but also a mental one makes total sense to me. One day I can deal well with all the chaos but then the people around me start to ask questions and even will admit that they have been buying extra toilet paper, medication, canned food and water. Yes, you are allowed to so and as I have stated here above I have done some shopping myself but still I do not feel prepared at all. Even the WHO has stated that at this point the world is not well prepared to deal with a health crisis of this scale. And I do believe them...it is what it is.
We are not in control of this virus. Seems that we have forgotten that we are not even in control when we run up and down a staircase. But the riskfactor of that action is in our mind 0% compared to catching Covid-19. Just to give you an idea: over the last twee weeks I almost fell three times down the stairs and if I had done so I would have fallen on my back and or the back of my head. So far every time my reflexes have saved me but that it doesn't mean that it won't be the last time it is going to happen.
So honestly I never feel prepared I never have.... and that is a personal fact. What I try very hard is to trust the people who are in charge of health care and yes that there are now stories out there about people trying to figure out what they might be doing with dead bodies and how they will decide who will get care in case it will get totaly out of hand is surely not that fun to read. It makes you wonder.... No there is no medication available and will at least take 18 months before one 'safe' vaccination will available. Yes, I do think that Covid will be something that will remain on the radar. Just like flu and other virusses. It won't go away anymore. Because when I was little my father has tried to explain what a virus wishes to do and that is to stay alive.... but then it needs us as well. Sounds very contradicting.
Within me there is a even a certain fascination with the science of it all. It is tiny little thing that can cause total havoc within us and all around. The statistics go through the roof and we do wonder when it will give away all it secrets. Well, it won't. That is nature of the beast.... No, it is not like the flu but I do think that in the future it will be now included in the package of those virusses that we will have to monitor constantly. Ebola is also still at work (and there stil is not a fully approved and safe vacccination for it either) and numerous communities in Africa that will always be more vulnerable than others. So that virus has also never left.... so that we now have to deal with one that affects all of us seems to trigger our adrenaline production. Big time...
That there then are still people out there that then think that is a hoax and that it will just go away that is also wrong. It will not...it will remain...it is a fact. P says that the mix of science, media reports and your own opion causes something that is mentaly beyond. I agree, I am guilty myself of that but it amazes me that people will be also upset that when they get ill and call a GP and then are told that he or she will not come over because they can not buy mouth masks anymore or that they are out of stock. For weeks we have been told that those masks are not the answer but still.... but health care workers need them big time! They are the ones that need to stay at work and help us in case we get critically ill.
I am very down to earth about this aspect. No, as stated I don't have mouth masks (when it broke out in China I have said to P that by the time it lands here that most of the mouth masks will be already be bought by others) and I am very sure that I won't find any online anymore. But I want doctors, nurses and scientists to stay safe and also that the people who then are asked to put on can do so. Seems that many around us have made their own personql risk assessments about those masks and 'just in case' got them. So that then means that when I get the virus that I will not be able to wear one. I won't...get the message... we created this partly ourselves. We add to the make up of a virus. No, don't start me on that governments should have been more prepared. In China they even could not keep up with the production of them. In China...the spot where so many of things you and me own including protective masks and other safety gear...check your house for labels and you will be amazed. SO DO YOU GET THE PICTURE????
Yes, go and check some online pharmacies because there you will find out how we have been stocking up for Covid-19. There will be companies who will benefit big time from this virus and there will be many who suffer. It is human to do so and it the emotion fear that makes us do so and I even bet that many of us who have seen the movie Contagion or read that one Doomesday inspired fiction novel now feel as if they see reality in front of them at work. It all adds to the cocktail that we are mixing, chilling and serving ice cold! There is not a lot positive to find out there when it comes down to a virus that just wishes to be party big time. Sorry for using the word 'party' but I already have an issue with the vocabulary used when talking about virus outbreaks. It is having a rave party and it will enter our life without we even have asked for it.
I am not a calm person. My constituition when it comes down to these kind of things is rather anxiety and therefor I do for the moment feel as if I try to stay afloat in a big ocean filled up with people who are splashing their hands in the icecold water and seem to have forgotten that they can swim themselves ashore. That there is equipment available around them to stay above the water with and that the huge rescue ships need to be reserved to those that need help big time. No, I do not wish to sugar coat this and I do try to stay very hard away from calling it hoax that is used by politicians or other conspirarcy theories. But please make sure that we just keep each other safe and that includes those that have chosen to take on this virus.
Yes, I do envision me being home in the weeks to come and I am already preparing professional for that. It will be the next chapter in my teaching story. So I plan to be a bit more out here as well and hoping that in the weeks to come the world will spin a little bit less out of control. But then there is this one quote by Deborah Harkness that keeps me company and reminds me that even after all these centuries we still do not seem to master a certain skills. There is one vampire who so well is able to put it down in words and they will never grow old. Even after this virus will have travelled all around and there might be something that will help us to calm down...we then move on to the next thing that triggers those emotions.
Please keep all safe, take good care of yourself and the ones you love, keep you wanderlust a bit under control and yes wash your hands it can keep many safe, including yourself.
PS: I choose a rather recent one and an oldie to go along with this post. I am not going to explain why...;-)
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