Baking Brownies

2022 is the past and 2023 is in full swing.  Nope I haven't been in a very blogging modus since COVID started and part of that is also the reason why I haven not been in a state of writing as much as I like to.  Part of me seems to be in a writers block of huge size and there is nothing that made me shake it off.  Or at least long enough to let this space be again that spot where I can turn to when I feel the urge to express what I feel, hope, inspire, long for,  wish to express without being judged.  The thing is that writing is an act that also longs to be read by others.  So the moment that you do put something down you must be prepared that other individuals will read what you have written.  What then follows can be diverse and not always be what you expect the ideal scenario.   Been there done that and honestly I have been given immediate feedback by quite a few people what they think about what I do write down here. Do I care?

Honestly?  Yes...I do and since the virus is having a great jumping around all over the place time I do feel as if I even care more than ever.  It is been bugging me big time...not the virus...rather how I feel about writting in general.  The thing is that I miss it big time and that I seem to have forgotten why I write in the first place...and that is not to please anyone.   

When I started out here I did have a very clear objective and that was not linked to only get positive feedback or having tons of followers.   None of that and honestly the last few months I do feel as if I start to feel more and more the urge to write more frequently. It is just that there has always been a little voice been inside of me telling why it was just not worthwhile to spend time behind the keyboard.  That voice won me over...resulting in rather questioning why I would even express my feelings or opinions. 

So when it was time to look ahead to the empty pages that the year of 2023 still has and if I feel as if I wish to comment on what is about to happen or look back over my shoulders I decided that I just had to be a bit braver and daring that I have been over the last 24 months.   No, I refuse to say that this is going to be one of my intentions for 2023.   Intensions have never worked for me and if I want to change something within myself or behavious I need a bit more than on new circle around the sun.  After all I do know myself very well. 

Just say that I do feel that is high tide and that I embarked my ship that I have been trying to get ready for a new adventure.  Not sure where it will take me and for once I don't care as much as I have been for a long time.  Yes, I expect to end up in a fierce storm and waves will clash against my tiny sailing boat and wish to take me down.  No doubt about that but I just have opted out the posibility to stay safe within the harbor and missing out on some of the nicer moments that I had in the past as well when typing away. 

 After all I not only write here...and also there I plan to rekindle my urge to write.  No, I don't expect a hand of applause and no encouraging words to make this an easier voyage out there.  After all, it is me who has to do let my fingers glide over the keyboard and push them fown so that my thoughts, opinions and stories can appear on paper.  Just walking around with them make them end up covered up by dust, self pity and even 'killing of' my own creativity.   

Yes, I am fully aware that I have tried before to me more productive and more than once I turned out to be not what I had hoped for.  Well...I want 2023 to be a year that is going to count double in some ways.  I want it to be 12 months in which I rekindle a few things that have given me already joy and energy.  That I am at the same time baking brownies on request for my son (he is been begging already over a year for that and every single time I managed to come up with an excuse why it was not the right time to turn on the oven and get the baking trays out of the cupboard.   That I today felt a bit more the urge to start baking again and let eggs, flour, butter and chocolate in combination with heat do their magic is perhaps a sign.  

My kitchen is filling up with an irresistible smell and I do wonder what perfume writing would come along.   Not sure that it would be the rich cacao hints would travel into my nose every time when I write something.  Some fruits of writing labour reflect rather sale and mouldy food that makes you run to the nearest sink but that is also the nature of the beast. 

Oh...the oven bell just rang and my son his smile while he stares at me after seeing the outcome of the baking says all I need to know.  Even if the taste might not be what he expected and longed for I still had a wonderful time weighing the ingredients, mixing them, pouring the dough into a baking tin and letting the oven and heat do their thing while I was typing away.  So I guess that 2023 might also be the year where I decide to use all that great baking books and baking trays that have been collecting dust in my kitchen cabinets.   

Have to run...see you soon and always happy to have you over for some tasting.  Hereby I also wish you the very best for the coming 12 months and hope that you get to eat many great slices of cake and not have to deal with many less tasty bakked goods. 

PS: Believe it or not but even the song I choose to go along with this entry is linked to baking.  It is part of the soundtrack of a very nice movie called 'Sachertorte' and believe me that number of cakes that they had to bake for that movies must have been a rather high one.