Summer Rides

So…It's a wrap our annual getaway to Europa Park is again something we rather have to talk about in the past or future tense. As mentioned in my previous post I desperately needed than I usually do. Did it live up to my expectations? Yip! It did and once again I was impressed by a few things that make me wonder why Europapark manages what others do not? In case you wonder what this blog is going to be about…I am about to sing the praise of amusement park that this weekend is celebrating it’s 50th birthday and surely deserves an extra glass of bubbles or birthday cake. 

Europapark started out small…so did others and most of the founding fathers of amusement parks had to have a lot of courage, patience and funding to keep their vision or dreams going. Plus that they needed also others to go along with all of what they envisioned or hoped that it could end up being one day. Efteling is a very close second one if it comes down to building further on a firm foundation and I am very happy that the fairy forest in this special Dutch amusement park is still a part that is maintained well. Still, Europa Park is playing in a different league than this one…no offence…this is not a comparison entry it is rather one in which I am going to try to point out why I keep going back there and do no mind paying a bit extra. 

The moment I arrive there I feel something that I hardly experience anywhere else…a very strong relaxing sensation. Walking into the lobby of the hotel is as if I walk into a place that already knows what I am after. Check in is always friendly and they always make sure that everything is double checked, last minute changes are never a problem and they will gladly advise you on what are the best options if you are in doubt. The hotel rooms are comfortable and the beds are heavenly. I sleep at Europa Park so much better than in most hotels. You get enough pillows and the mattresses are just what my body needs in order to get the right amount of sleep and I do wake up refreshed and to be ready for a day filled up with wild rides and other fun entertainment. 

By the time you walk out of the hotel and are heading for the entrance of the park you already have encountered so many people who work there and add to your stay that you know that it is the staff that is a very vital part of making this place running. This year I noticed how well everything maintained is…everything seemed to shiny and the gardening was top notch. I had moment that I did not have the feeling I was in an amusement park but somewhere the greenery just takes your breath away. The deep colours and that blue sky and that sun shine were in perfect balance and I was taken in. If there is one park that even when there are so many other people around still enables you to feel mindful and get in a certain flow then it is this spot. 

 Plus then there is the staff! This year I encountered a few hiccups and they would always manage to fix the situation with professionalism and a smile. There were still many familiar faces around that we got to spot not only in the hotel but also in the park itself. Some of them even recalled us from last year. As I stated before it has got that sensation of coming home in a different nation. 

Not that I have got my reservations about it. Every year before hitting the reservation box with my mouse I wonder if it will not be as good as last year. I do wonder if the EP-magic has got its limits once I print out our booking confirmation. What is their secret? I am not sure and to be honest I do think it is rather more complex then just aiming higher and higher every year. Last night the family Mack celebrated with 900 VIP guest their 50th enterprise birthday and as always they did that with style. I watched a bit of it on their media channel and I did not keep it dry…No, I did not. The little clip about a woman who reflects about all the times that she went to the park and that she is there now with her grand children made me tear channel open wide. Why? Because I get it what that feeling is about. 

 Creating memories and trying to capture you and hold on to them because they withhold something that si so hard to copy. Living within the moment is an art and in an world where we have so many ways to stay connected or being distracted it is rather becoming even harder. An amusement park is still a place where people have to stand in line and in some cases will be tested to stay patient. No short cuts are possible if you wish to ride the Wodan or the Silver Star. The moment that the brakes let go and you sense that you are about to fall down you just know you are in that moment and that everybody on board of your fast ride is nowhere else then there. The only proof you might have is that action picture that some of these rides try to sell you but deep down you already know that that picture does not reflect what you experienced deep inside you know that picture is only a weak attempt. 

A once talked me into the Silver Star ride and believe it or not I had no clue what that ride was about. I am not good with heights and his giggles should have told me that I was going to be in trouble big time. Google Silver Star ride Europapark and have a look what I encountered. That way up was never ending and I just wanted to scream my lungs already out before we even went back down. The speed and the vibrations that then hit my body I will never ever forget. It is one of those rides that I will never ever forget for the rest of my life. When we all got out instead of wanting to strangle him I hugged him and his eyes were sparkling.  I have not been back but deep down I am proud that I did dare but foremost that I did ride it together with him. 

 Memories made at Europa park count double in my heart. I guess that each one of us has got such places. They sparkle something that is so valuable to us and we wish to keep those memories close to our hearts. Travelling and having the opportunity to do with your loved ones and just live in the moment are so precious and are an antidote to so many bad vibrations. 

Hospitality and entertainment are an industry and are surely also linked to making profits. I am not naive, but what I experience with my family and friends in Rust in that special resort I cherish and I am very happy that the Mack family whose family history started in 1780 in Waldkirch as carriage builders are still going strong. In 2025 they can look back at building numerous rides for so many entertainment parks all around the world. Chances are very likely that when you have been in a park with a fast ride that they were the engineers and the builders behind that thrilling ride. 

So yes I managed to scream out loud while I did pick up speed on my favourite ride, the CanCan Coaster ride in the French quarter of the park. And then there is the Arthur a ride that is close to the perfection when it comes down to the delicate balance between thrills, speed and having 100% fun. Those rides are rare and the moment that a park nails that you will return.     

No Europa Park is not Tuscany, the Swiss Alps, Cordoba, Paris or Athens…it does not come close to the real thing. It never will but what it manages to do is still not something that we can bottle and buy in a supermarket. Each one of you has got spots where the magic takes place and where you sense that one sensation. You must know what I mean…and I do hope that you will be visiting that place with the once you love and keep close to your heart. Enjoy that special summer ride…they are magical, pure, unforgettable, thrilling, joyful and so much more! Each one of those are a ride of a life time! 

PS: Tonight EP is open till midnight and believe me if I tell you that this will be the highlight of the year for each one of them present there...we were there last year at that evening and we did celebrate life under the stars..

Too hot to handle

It is uncomfortable hot outside and I am about to book myself a one way ticket to the Artic circle in order to cool down. The last few days were sunny and made all the summer related things such as ice cream, swimming pools and cocktails stand out even more. The thing is once it is getting above 27 degrees Stallie is hiding out in our house and refuses to come out till a thunderstorm hits the roof. Now before anyone mentions the words climate change I am going to have to stop you there. I get it and I surely can connect the dots. So there is no need to make a comment below that includes those words. I just need desperately to express what heat does to me and it is not a pretty sight. 

Since a year we live in our new house and that has a few of those energy sufficient elements that should help us to be less dependent of fossil fuels and such. The thickness of the walls also tell you story of trying to keep energy inside rather than throwing it out through the windows. During winter we surely got to experience the benefits of these walls. And gone were also the days that when going to the toilet was comparable to taking a plunge in bathtub filled up with ice cubes. Or no need for an extra duvet when trying to fall asleep while outside it was freezing. We also got used to keeping a close eye on energy prizes that are constantly changing. Postponing ironing is not the end of the world if you know that you will save out some euros at the end of the day. 

The thing is that in summer this house turns out to be a bit of a challenge when dealing with trying to stay cool. There are still huge advantages of a house that seems to be able to make the most of your energy consumption but dealing with an over dose of sunshine and heat it does not do very well. Our living room is now getting close to being a sauna and cooking food makes me getting in sweat that makes me feel as I am about to faint any second. 

At the moment there is a lot of wind outside and I did open the windows in order to get some more cool air inside our walls but the temperature refuses to go down! In case you wonder if I can not go anywhere to hide from the temperatures in our house? Yes and I have tried and the last two days I did ended up reading a book in the AC lounge of my gym and watched some Wimbledon tennis in between some chapters. But still, there comes the moment that you have to face the heat and try to even sleep within it. In our old house I use to be a bit more creative and did I try picture myself on the beach on a sun bed of an exclusive beach club. This thought then helped me to fall in sleep. Needless to say that my brain doesn't buy this any more. Wisdom and age it is a fascinating combination. 

Speaking of age I do find myself in a constant limbo because of my age and the behaviour linked to that age. Lately I am about to explode when it comes down to certain situations. It seems as if my emotional filter and brake system just over night have vanished into thin air. I am left behind with a constant sensation that everything and everyone is against me. The world that I once knew suddenly makes no sense whatsoever. 

Almost everyone who I mention this to says that this is linked to the M-word and that this is `normal'. Okay...but then please explain to me why suddenly I need to change gears and start to feel the odd one out when a lot of people around me suddenly seem to do things that totally do not make any sense. The last five years I have been constantly trying to be the most empathetic person in the room. The moment I am not and honestly express my anger, disappointment, grief, loss and other sentiments linked the dark side of the universe I am told to be a bit less outspoken or not too overreact. 

Excuse me? Really? Are you serious? One look around me, one visit to to the local supermarket, one glance at a digital platform or newspaper, one X-comment, one e-mail,....the list is long and evasive....but I assume that at this point you are getting the picture, is all it takes to make me stop and freeze all my emotions and thoughts. So...here you go this is the major reason why I stopped writing and being honest about my own feelings with many around me. 

Oh, I know myself very well. I am told to be a people pleaser and so I do get that you can not keep everybody smiling and happy all the time. People hurt others and other people will be painful honest in case they feel that they should. I do not have any issues with that. The thing is that when people express their hopes, opinions, feelings, ideas or thoughts that I suddenly erase myself for over 100%. Why? 

Because I care about what you feel and think. It matters to me. I am an educator and it is in my professional DNA. I can not just turn that part off. So that I now feel that the sponge is saturated and needs to be squeezed before it can function optimal again surely does not come to surprise to me. Stallie is about to pop...my balloon has got no space left any more. 

Before you think that Stallie is over exaggerating and that things are not that bad...no? Really? I just can not shake of the feeling that many of us are forced to just get up over and over again once we are told to feel what others feel and adjust our behaviour according to what they feel. Being the altruistic soul that I am told to be is not always easy and I do have got my feelings as well. That I need almost day in day pretend that they do not matter and seem to never be as life changing is something that I for the moment have enough of it.

 Stallie also has things she is not happy about, that her feelings get hurt, that I do not understand why certain people constantly need to scream and shout at each other, that I feel disconnected with some of my best friends, that I feel hopeless and have no clue what to do next in some situations, that I am tired of being called naive or too romantic (I am not and the present situation I am in at the moment is 100% proof of that), that being patient and kind just does not seem to help... I am fed up!

Then this might then not be a surprise that I  am so happy that on Monday am getting in my car and driving to my happy place in Germany. The moment I will park my car there and walk into that hotel with top notch AC (it are the only four days that I grant myself that luxury before facing anther day in our heat wave infested house) I will disconnect. 

Oh no...I know the feelings will not go away...but for now let me look forward to a dive in a nice pool, a curated cocktail at a pool bar, a huge selection of dishes at one of the delicious hotel buffets, fun and thrilling roller coaster rides, a facial that will make me feel relaxed for bit longer than normal, a bed that will magically be made up when I walk back into my bedroom,...Let me be for a few days be 200% disconnected of all the fuss, chaos, anger, feelings, dishonesty, grief, pain that I get to sense and witness at a daily basis. Don't you worry I am not returning totally changed but at least I will have to opportunity to scream out loud more than once without having to feel guilty or being considered out of control. Bring on that Voltron ride...I am not only in the need of speed but also in the need of screaming out very loud! 

Loss....

The end of another year of teaching is nearing and honestly it has been a good year within the secured campus of my educational hot spot.  Surely there have been the times that I wondered why educating is sometimes exhausting and seems to throw the one challenge after the other at me. Life is not the straight path we are hoping it to be. Instead it goes in mysterious ways.  This year I found myself a bit thrown off the path by a few things that go very deep.  Not professional...but foremost personal I found myself wandering around in a dark forest. 

I am totally aware that I have not been showing my writing part the respect it deserves due to the fact that when I try to write that I end up in a state of overthinking.  Constantly I wonder if something I write might cause someone else feeling not happy or that this person might feel disrespected.  The woke-word has invaded my writing side of my life and it causes me to go into a mental overdrive. Instead then showing some resilience and being a bit more in a state of caring less about what others think I go and live on my own little island, one where writing has not really a reason of existence.   

Unmistakably I still love my job and this year I has kept my safe and sane in many ways. It also did this during the global epidemic that we faced a few years ago. Very grateful to what I am given and I still love what I am doing.  Therefor before I dive into the list of things that I have ‘lost’ I wish to state that I have gained a lot as well and not just weight that my peri menopausal modus granted. It is been a year in which I had to find balance. 

The most challenging thing that I am dealing with is trying to get my grip on the loosing part makes the gaining part just a bit less colourful.  The moment I have time to think facing personally  I get even angry and sad. A sensation I can not deal with with decorum or justification.  A few years I have been told that my anger was so palpable within my sayings or output on a social media where I am bit by bit retreating from. I felt very upset when I was told and this because I wondered if I was not granted time to be angry and upset once in a while.  At that time the world was not a very happy spot and I felt that I once in a while had enough justified reasons to be upset. Instead of just remaining true to my own feelings I took once again the feelings and opinions of myself very serious and started to bottle up my anger and my sadness.  

A few years later I feel that momentarily forced let goes are uncorking that bottle.  No, I am not going to be very outspoken about what I have lost or are about to loose.  People all around me are constantly losing something or somebody…just this year I have been forced to be very forgiving about the number of people that I have ‘lost’ or that I am in the process of having to say goodbye to.  January was one of the toughest months every and we had to cremate two of our family members.  The impact of that is still very much actively messing up part of my life.  On the way to coming to terms and grief I am gaining an experience that I have definitely not signed up for.

There is enough grief and sorrow going on in the world and needless to say that I am fully aware that each one of us has got some sh*** to deal with.  My empathy always makes me keep my own feelings on hold. Sugar coating and looking for the positives have become part of my Stallie-DNA.  Still…those who know me better know that I do have a very active and sarcastic dark side that since the hormonal factory has decided to go in total overdrive just keep me at times  going ballistic.  

The thing is that I feel at times very lost…and do not know what to do what that sensation.  One close look around me and scrolling though my contacts on my mobile phone I have to be honest and say that I have lost a few very close friends over the the last few years. Not that I have not gained any but the thing is that I am a Capricorn and I can not deal very well with changes.   Also I have had to say farewell to three family member in one year and one of them cuts very deep.  In the mornings I can get up feeling nauseous and wondering if I will make it to the end of the day.  Arriving at work I hardly show a smile and I can be so grumpy and if I don’t make it in time to the coffee machine then hell breaks loose within. 

Rough and tough it has been and the moments I crack down I just open up all my emotions to show.  There is a lot going on around me that is beyond my control.  In some cases I even have no clue what to feel anymore. I even have days that I try to laugh it away…but honestly it has made me feel totally lost.  If it wouldn’t be for some very considering coworkers, friends, family and foremost P then I would be now hiding under a duvet.  Thank you for just being there and even not running away when you have to deal with a less upbeat Stallie…it is highly appreciated. 

I have always not been very good at saying goodbye or finding out what to do when individuals their life turns for the worse…I then go into hiding in the back ground and go total silent.  When someone tells me that they need to be left alone for a while or need a break then I am very considerate and patience.  If someone suddenly has to deal with something that will be taking a lot of pain and healing then I am the one that will be lingering around the Get Well cards but still wonders if that this will be enough to send out.  I even feel as if I am not needed any more and that there are plenty of others will be there to take care of their needs.  I then spend days shouting at myself for not knowing what to do. 

Stallie knows very well that she is a people pleaser, a Your wish is your command’-person that is who I am.  There for when I can not read your body language or mind then I just freeze.  It is not something that I am proud of. The thing is connected with my anger or grief. My feelings take me to place within that I wonder if I even allowed to express my own feeling or opinion.  Instead I wait and feel scared…I do..I come with thousands reasons why I am in the way or not wanted. I am not a fighter when it comes down to friendship… Instead I go into a specific modus that is very hard to explain. Don’t get me wrong…this is not a post to ask you for attention and trying to understand me…believe me…I just needed to put this black on white. 

This year I have to let go and give loss so much space…and it cuts deep….if  I had not have had my teaching job it all would even have been harder…I am grateful that I ended up in a classroom…it keeps me grounded, rooted, focused, interested, curious, empathic, compassionate, proud, intrigued, creative, interested and centred and trying hard to keep in mind what matters to me and that is hope.  Hope are four letters that make me get up in the morning and that get me going. Even in the world of today that is dealing with an overland of turmoil I do find enough that can keep me dipping into the pool of hope.  

Finishing up this post I find rather hard and so that I then stumbled on this meaningful poem by a fellow teacher Joseph Fasano on X was exactly what I needed.  These words tell you everything why I do what I do and why I sometimes go silent and are there in the background waiting and hanging out and at the same time I am full of energy and go out there in full force in a class room… 

I wish all the teachers all the world a very well deserved summer break and fuel up with those things that you love and make you feel hopeful…You do make a difference in any shape or form you enter a classroom…you arrive daily at a place of hope.  Not that the loss need to be played down that is also a very meaningful emotion…you own that one as well..just let hope then be the beacon in order to find your way back home. 

PS: I picked a song that is surely now an oldie and when this one is on while driving in my BMW i3 I do feel a lot of the energy that keeps me going.   The mix of the more modern with the sounds of the orchestra and the lyrics it is all there within and it keeps me going strong.