Bitten By An Apple

Yesterday morning I drove to work and the first thing that I did find out after turning on the radio was that Steve Jobs did pass away. Next to me was lying my iPhone and I was so tempted to call P. After all it is my other significant one who got my totaly adicted to Apple objects. And believe me he had to go the distance because I did had some reservations at the time. But then I decided that I was not going to as I wanted to be myself for a few minutes to reflect about what that news was going to have on the IT-world and to the Apple community in general.

It is very strange to witness what happens when an unique human beings exchanges the life on earth for the eternal haunting fields. At work only a few colleagues made a comment aboout Steve passing away. Only after work hours I did find out what was going on in the world who was trying to come to terms with this news. Okay, we all die. Steve Jobs was very aware about that fact. During the memorable Commencement speech he gave to the graduates of Stanford University he was very straight forward about that. And yes, he is right that even the people that look forward to go to heaven hate to having let go of the life they created down here.

When I got home P and I tried to read up on Steve, we both were still surprised what we found on the world wide web. On Facebook many statussen were to be found that could be linked to him and many posts were links to many memorable speeches, moments, objects, pictures. It seemed that this human being managed to touch the life of many.

Yes, the company who became a major player in the IT-world got boosted thanks to his creativity, stamina, love for beauty and simplicity and the urge to find something that is bit different but will make your life nicer in many ways found their way into our house. A loves to play games on the the rectangular with a touch screen and the first secret number combination he ever learned was the one he needed in order to unblock that awesome device.

I have a very close relationship with my white lap top who manages to stimulate my creativity and create new worksheets, blog entries and create picture albums and tweet away. I must admit that this computer has still not given away all its secrets but that it is because you do need to think differently about a computer when working on one of those. And iTunes in combo with my tiny square with imensely powers to save my music and tune up my life is for sure the best that every invested money in musis wise.

I am not going to tell you what the A-effect on P is. That is beyond words and only can be understood when you see it in action yourself. Sometimes it frightens me even a bit because P without an A-inspired object seems to equal insanity. I have seen P so many times happy when he got close to something with the most known apple on it.

Inspiring people seem to be able to leave behind an imprint on others their lives. Putting Steve Jobs in to a box is not something that can be easily done because he is for sure a league of his own. So yes, Steve Jobs will be missed in many ways but the legacy he left behind is for sure one that can make us think differently about many objects and subjects. And what he also managed to do was to make you look at the world with different eyes. Uhm, so every time when I see now P being busy and making a mess in the garage he might be on the verge to change the world for the better. Yeah right!!!


P.S: P asked me to send a message to rememberingsteve@apple.com like many did or will do the following days. These are the words I left in the name of the three of us behind in order to thank the person who made us take a big bite into an apple whose aftertaste ables us to stay hungry and foolish for a very long time.


Thanks for the times that you went against those who did say you might be wrong.
Thanks for the times that you noticed beauty in simplicity.
Thanks for the times that you were just the guy from around the corner when you talked about great inventions and memorable moments.
Thanks for the times that you choose for an apple above a pear.
Thanks for the times that you believed in others their ability to create something unique.
Thanks for the times that you stayed hungry and perhaps still a bit foolish.

We will in many objects that now have become part of our daily lives remember you.

Heaven awaits the arrival of a great genius.

Stallie ,P & our son A (7 years old) who all three got bitten by an Apple for a life time.

The Rebound

Outside the daylight is already getting less time to show off and today I got so cold that I was tempted to make hot coco with tiny marsh mellows in it. This in order to find back the warmth. Instead I tried to pick up some heat that was coming out of my computer or I let A crawl up on my lap and asked him to hang out in a bit longer with me. I also tend to spend then a bit longer time in front of the television with P.

Like for the moment P&A are watching their weekly portion of car fun. 'Top Gear' is on and then I tend to let the two of them bound on the couch. Not that I will not watch along but it is just cute to see them both get into the whole thing. A will comment on how fast the cars seem and will cheer on the Stig when he test races a new fast car. P seems to be on a different planet for about 60 minutes. One where I just do not seem to exist. There are even moments that I think that he is imitating the noises the engines are making. I told him this week that if I would behave the same way about books and handbags that he would kick me out. He appeared not to agree with me!

But the highlight of our TV weekend was the movie 'Rebound'. P had made me change channels after we saw how journalist Russell Crow (gosh smelling a story and going after the facts seems so much more excited then what I do at a daily basis!)and Ben Affleck (politics, power and money are a deadly combination when it comes down to friendship) in action. I was tempted to call it the night after that 'State of Play' but P convinced me by telling me that was going to a 'nice' one to watch.

P & I differ in many ways and also when it comes down to our preference of movies. So I was sceptic! Especially when I saw Mrs Douglas filling up the screen. Catherine Zeta Jones plays in this one a mature divorcee with two young children finding back the right paste in her live. In my honest opinion was the synopsis P gave me not the most promising one. But I stayed put and did crawl under a nice blanket to keep the cold out of my system. And thankfully I did.

I am not going to give you away everything but I even started to note down oneliners. The best was when P&I started to LOL at the exact same moments or when I saw P almost crawling over the couch. We both were totaly relaxed and got into this nice littly story of two people falling in love. Okay one does look like he still has got to graduate from high school and the other did for sure got some plastic surgery done to still look like that after all that time.

The thing is that we perhaps all once have been on the rebound and that even some of us are in the process of moving out of somewhere to get things back in order. Not that I think that most of my friends who have decided to move on without the man they first embarked with on the life cruise but then decided to disembark are searching now for a younger lad to share their lives with. This story is about so much more then just two 'lost' people who find out where they belong.

Yes I must say that the character Aram is my type of guy. He reads Harry Potter, can entertain children by goofing around, watches 'Top Chef' in order to pick up ideas for a nice dinner and can sing a song before bed time. A very hard guy to resist. P his best comment was when the end credits where rolling over the screen:'Hey, do you get this? Why are they broadcasting such a cute movie at such a late hour? Is it because of the 25 having intercourse with a 40 year old? She does look 25 herself in this one!'

Last night we had a very good night on the couch and we think that Sandy and Aram do deserve to fill up a cold, wet and windy Autumn night.

P.S.: And because it is a bit stronger then myself, just a few oneliners to get you into this one:

- 'What a nanny??? You are not from Trinidad but from upper Manhattan!'
- 'You have got a perfect posture!' (the best compliment you can get from a chiropractor on a first date!)
- 'I love theories! They make me all horny!'
- 'Don't you want to travel around the world, go crazy, rock Cleveland?'

Celebrating Love And Happiness

It is almost back like I want to sense it: the urge to write and create lines on paper. I haven been thinking a lot lately about many things. This is not good for Stallie due to many reasons. I can get so wrapped up in my thaughts that I then forget about other more urgent and important matters. But once I am on that roalercoaster it is very hard to get off.

But due to some very emotional events I did manage to focus again. The many smiles and tears that were involved in these intens moments I do carry now in my heart. I also have come to realise more then ever that life is very fragile and that every special moment you get to celebrate you have to enjoy at the fullest.

Last weekend I ended up with my family in a nice venue to celebrate my uncle's 90th birthday. An uncle I truely love! His life story does make me become very aware of the fact that we as humans are on a mission and need to use our talents wisely. But also need to make time to enjoy life. It was nice to just sit there surrounded by my own family who seems to be doing quite well. A was having the time of his life by checking out every corner of the place with two brothers in crime and P just was himself by trying not to talk work with one of my cousins. While I was sipping of a glass of sparkles I just felt happy. While holding on to my god child E, wearing a blue and white polka dot dress (yes, I dare to wear dresses again!), I just tried to suck up the energy that this special moment was echoing.

That day I ended up at a wedding as well. I had to go by myself because P was on a call. But I realy wanted to celebrate this special moment with these special friends who also have taught me something important things about life. Going by yourself to a wedding is not always that fun because you might not know that many people. At the same time it is the opportunity to observe all the friends and family that the happy copple considers special to celebrate life with.

Stallie ended up that night quite some moments on the dancefloor. I was so amazed to see that many people out there and not just for a few minutes. It was quite a pleasant view to see so many happy people move on music. Including myself! Yes, I had a great time out there. By the time I drove home I felt very zen and in balance. Okay, I still have got some worries going on in my mind but I did feel happy at that exact moment.

In a way I wrapped up my summer by celebrating life at the fullest depth with people that I love and care about. The last two months were perhaps not the most sunny ever and yes, I had my less moments as well. Mindfullness was sometimes hard to find when you were around me at a less cheerful moment. My mind was not on a break this summer on many fronts. But while I kissed my uncle and the happy couple I did feel so much alive and blessed.

My summer was not the most sunny of all and this of course also infected my mind. Lots of tropical storms got under my skin. Restless I was and had the constant feeling I was sitting at a busstop waiting for a ride that was never going to come. Stallie seemed to have been experiencing 'Waiting for Godot'-feeling. What I am waiting for? I can not put my finger on but perhaps many of us do have this sensation going on in their lives at a certain moment. This summer it was my turn.

Every morning when I got out of bed and took a look at the grey sky I was so much tempted to get back into bed and wait till the sun would come out. But then I would have missed out so much. The happiness and the sadness were for sure real and even without the sun they have managed to make me feel more alive then ever. I just did not have to write about it as much because I just lived the moment and went with the flow.

Okay, the human race is not industructible, it has got it's darker side as well and it can cause pain and destruction but I have seen in many places the power of love and happiness and that then still creates hope. Hope that I need to get through the more painful moments that are ahead of me. When I drove home that night and got lost in Brussels I was not in a panic like I usually do. Suddenly I felt so alive that I was ready to scream it out. This song happened to be on while driving under Koekelberg (the biggest chathedral of Brussel with a tunnel complex under it that makes you shiver when you do not know your way around in the captial)and made the ride hime more agreeable.

I realize that celebrating special moments do matter and that when you get invited that you do need to make time and seize the opportunity. It are these special moments that can give you some extra energy, can suddenly make you see things clear again! And because you only are granted one shot at this life-adventure are highlights so important to celebrate or to be grateful for all the people who not only share the bad times with you but also the good times. So ladies and gentleman do please take the time to celebrate life because then you are prepared for when the going gets tough to keep on going.

To Write OR Not To Write?

I have not been on the last few weeks. There are many excuses that I could use here in order to explain why. Still, that would not justify totally why I have not used blog space to put down my daily thoughts, emotions, opinions and feelings. There is perhaps only one and that is that I for the moment I just kind of not feel like writing.

In my previous post I mentioned the word 'writer's block'. Well, that is the major reason why the last few weeks I seem to stay away from here. I did try and there are enough topics to write a few lines about. Major things happened, are happening and will happen in the weeks to come. Just Stallie did not feel in the best shape to write an entry about these things.

I must say that while surfing along many of my blogs this summer I did find out that there were also some fellow colleagues suffering of the same 'disease'. From what I have read in the past did even the best authors once had to battle this monster. There are even written books about it and some well known film dealing with. Stallie does her research before she writes about something and this even about not being able to write!

What I did find out was that quite a list of fictional people dealing with the inability to put a 'sensible' word down on paper. Even one of my favorite TV-authors Castle seems to encounter it when he kills of one of his main characters. Suddenly the brain just seems to stop functioning in the way you are used. Something has changed. You can not put your finger easily on it. It might just gotten under your skin because you are so wrapped up in other things.

Every time you then ti decide to give it an other try you just give into an other drive. The drive to just let the moment pass to put it down in the written word. This urge is not a pleasant one. Even causes you pain and heart ache. It makes you doubt your ability to create something worthwhile that will be read by others. Words seem not to be strong enough to echo long enough to make it on paper. Like the puzzle pieces that you are trying to put together do not fit together. Only fragments are lingering around in your mind. Pieces that will never give enough satisfaction to ease the hunger when you glue together words. The sentences are not strong enough to stand the test of time.

For the moment I am kind of letting the blockage of the mind take its course. It still does not frighten me because since a few days I manage to get my head around many things that I need to get back into the writers mood. The summer seems just not have been the right 'climate' to create new stories. You will just have to take my word for it that I did have a good summer to take a break of writing. To go with the flow and sometimes just enjoy the silence that a blank page does send out.

Does this now mean that Stallie will not be back for an other while and is planning to take a longer break? Well, I can't say because honestly this is not something that I had planned to happen. Some of my friends are already wondering. One of my closer friends did even point out that Twitter might be the evil force behind this blockage.

The thing is that I do believe that there is a reason why for the moment my keyboard is producing less words. When I was travelling or with friends I have sucked up many things that I can and might write about. Just not now! Right now I am taking a break. A break that I feel is coming soon to an end. Not only because me being a teacher will force me back to come out into open space. No, I do know quite well how to get back into the writer's mood. And it is quite simple but I just need to make some extra effort. It is called: meditation.

I have kind of failed the last few weeks in keeping this one up. Just seem to have 'forgotten' about my daily mind exercise. For a few weeks now I skipped that few minutes of being totaly by myself. Why? Uhm,.... Well, euh.... Let me keep it simple: I just did not find the right balance in order to sit out there and facing my innerself. The minute that I did try my body seem to fail me or was it the other way around?

The 'Mindfullness for Dummies' book that is resting next to my bed might bring some help. All I need to do is starting again believing in the power of that exercise. It has already proven its benefits on many fronts in my daily existence. So yes, I do know the way out of this messed up word jungle I just need to start believing once more in the power of my inner strength.

So ladies and gentlemen, do not worry I am not planning to just check out of the world of bloggers or the written word in general. I just need to find back my paste and my intens urge to write. It has not been killed. No, do not send out yet any search warrant for Stallie. I just ask you to be a bit patient with me. In case you wish to help me then lightning a candle or saying a mantra might help me to find back my center. But please be so kind not to ask me to write down this mantra because I have got no clue what so ever what the exact word in what exact order are. You see, it is still there....the monster is still there....but I'll be back. I hope....

P.S: In the mean time I am going to watch some of these movies that are out there about people dealing with this writer's disease. This one is for sure on my list:

The Speechless Postman

This is an exhausted speechless teacher who just is a bit lost for the moment. Not that I take personal what happened or at least I try not. But my body tells me that I have been suffering a bit the last few days. Not that I am giving up because the last month before summer break is about to start and then I need to be on top of things.

While being a bit less active speechwise I then suddenly find the time to check out the website of my former balletschool where I am planning to go back after this summer. I even mailed them today to ask them to keep me up to date in order to sign up for lessons next dance season. The Pilates lessons are also a fact and I can tell you that they sometimes hurt like h***. This is getting serious, don't you think so?

But the pics and videos I got to see while hanging out there turned me even more speechless but then with a smile on my face. I even happened to recognise some faces. Most of them look older but it were all dancing faces and these don't need words to get their message across.

Now that I come to think of it my last live public performance was not only on music but also on words. Words that got to me and were able to touch my soul. This music took me to a very nice sunny island where the post is brought by a very nice postman who is not that articulate with words. He therefor then calls in the help of the talented poet Pablo Neruda. Tears are rolling down my cheeks while this one is on.

But you can be assured these are tears of joy and remembering the very good times I had out there with the 'older' ladies on stage. I have not listened to this one for over 8 years because it like opening one of the final doors. So today the postman stopped by and brought me this message and it silences me....


Words are strong, they can break you down
But I try to forget
to feel relaxed and rest
I go into my thoughts in my imagination
And though days may be tough,
I'm rocked by sweet illusions
And I try to hear the leaves moving slowly on the wind's melody
And I try to see the beauty of the sunshine hiding behind the sea
But they shout and they argue
and everyone talks so loud
And my head is aching and painful, too
So hush, don't say a word
Hush and the storm will stop
Hush, there's too much noise for me
Please don't say a word

- Clémence Dufrasne

Happy Easter!!!

There is so much I want to write about.
There are so many emotions that are for the moment active inside of me.
There is so much joy around of me that it is contagious.
There are so many good friends to share to good times with.
There is still the home that I can return home to.
There is the sun that fires me up.
There is white wine and bottles of champagne chilling in the fridge just in case that you might pass by.
There is my little camera with the visible proof that the last few weeks were for sure unforgetable.
There is my pair of pink ballerina shoes with which I danced with for hours under the stars.
There is my tube of sun screen that I applied with a big smile on my face.
There is the smell of spring flowers when I walk through my mum's house.
There is my huge collection of chocolate waiting to be dived into.
There is my lovely other significant one who looks awesome in his new blue shirts.
There is my godchild E who made me 'smile with my liver'.
There is the sound of birds when walk to the bakery for freshly baked croissants.
There is the needle that hits my chi.
There is the breathtaking golden treasure of Tut.
There is the ride in the nice car of P.
There are the colorful trees filled up with cottonballs and ready to huged.
There is little iPod Nano that spiced up my life music wise.
There is my metro ticket that brought me to some nice places in Brussels.
There is my stack of books that still enables to surprise me.
There is red of delicious sweet strawberries on my t-shirt.
There is my new wardrobe that proofs that I did 'change' a bit.
There are sandals lying in to hall ready to be tripped over.
There is the smell of barbecue in the air when I open the window in the evening.
There are purple and yellow tulips brightening up my living room.
There is A who wakes me up with a big kiss on my nose.
There is so much..... to be grateful for on this very sunny Easter morning.


One look over my shoulders and I can for sure state that was one incredible nice Spring break. Today we celebrate life and new beginnings. I believe that the paschal mystery is something we humans can experience inside of ourselves. Besides all the misery and pain and other troubles that show up in our dialy lives there is this undefinable power inside of us that can lift us up. Today I am very grateful for what I have received in my life. Yes, I kept my lentpromise that I would only start to enjoy chocolate on this particular day. So Easter bunny you better show up very soon because this year it is not only A who can't wait to start egg racing!

HAPPY EASTER!!!!

Alive And Kicking

I am about to hug every single tree I come across and at the same time I wish to slam a few doors. This morning I told P what I was experiencing. For the moment Stallie would like to run a marathon and at the same time she just wishes to show the finger at her own reflection in the mirror. Spring is the air and Stallie is restless! All the energy that is bundled up in her seems not to find the right exit. Or it only seems to come out drop by drop.

It is like I am dragging along an IV-bag. Its drip that can cause myself hanging out at the dark and the light side and this at the same side. It is like a drug that I seem not to be able to resist and at the same time wish to spit out in order to get rid of the bitter sweet aftertaste.

Stallie feels alive and kicking, but this also means that she is having a hard time. I still don't manage to let go according to A. Yes, he planted 9 needles into my skin and twisted them around. You can be sure that I did feel them. The ones in my toes made me get goosebumps and one that was resting peacefully in my neck made me pulling funny but painful faces.

So I am having this love and hate relationship with my innerself. It is hard to explain to others. Because it is something that is so hard to put down in words. How in the world to I find the right words when it comes down to describing the most complex feeling that Stallie experiences when she does feel alive.

Fully alive! One look at the colorful trees that carry their white and pink blossoms makes me smile. I then wish to touch those every single of them. But I do not dare because one touch might disturb the fragile relationship that the pedals have with the branch. So I just stare at them and mindtravel.

Then it happens that Stallie might get lost in a very far off place where not many are granted access to. My senses are awakened and then I seem to lose it all together! I then want to jump of a roof into icecold water but at the same time wish to wrap myself into a very thick quilt to get warm again. The cool spring perfume that hits my nose in the morning makes me drive faster but at the same time I then wish to parc my car on a deserted parking lot and cry. This for no particular reason what so ever. The sunlight that hits the windows of my classroom guarantees my pupils a homework free evening. At the same time I feel so empty when I close the door of my classroom that I am about to colapse right there and give in! I desperately wish to plant my feet in the morning dew that is resting peacefully out there on the freshly cut grass but I do stay away because I do not wish to break any magical spell that might be at work out there in mysterious ways!

I am so grateful for the seasons but it also means that I suddenly am back out on an emotional rollercoaster. One without brakes and so I do not know when it will come to an end. No warning signs along this road. What might come across my road might make me laugh out loud or weep that I am about to use every single tissue I can find in my Mary Poppins bag. And yes, I even am tempted to slap some people right in the face when I think they deserve so. At the other hand I would run after each hurt animal with all the band aids I can find.

Chances are that when you would walk into my kitchen while I am doing the washing up that I am headbanging along some teenage music and sing totaly of key along. At the other hand I might have plugged in my headphones and be listening to the Requiem by Mozart and tears gliding down my cheeks. If I would have a horse close by I would be galloping in black beauty style down the beach while the seabreeze hits my face. At other hand I am about to wander around aimlessly in a very dark forest not knowing what is ahead, the cold sweat breaking out.

Uhm, Stallie, borderline? No, trust me that it is not! It more like my buddies Ying and Yang have decided to show me what powers are at work inside of me. The awakening nature seems to get Stallie out of her hibernating status. My senses are then very sharp and I am then more then ever aware of the very fragile state that I live in. Grateful I am then when I take a very good look at what I see. Not only what is close by and I can touch but also what I was granted to see, touch, feel, taste, experience, smell at some very special and specific moments of my life.

The best way to perhaps to get your head around is picturing Stallie trying to keep her balance on a slack rope that is out there high up in the sharp blue sky. In one hand I am holding a little umbrella with rainbow colors and the other one I am holding a red rose of which the red petals will fall of the moment I move to much. And the other image is Stallie out there in a cool sailing boat sailing away with on board all the people she holds close to her heart. I am then ready to Titanic style to be Rose and just let go and take very deep breaths.

In case you wonder if this a bad state to be in? I don't think so. It just is so hard to explain to others what I feel! If there was a way to let you travel along I would let you get on board. Still, I am kind of sure that many people out there to get my message, know what I am after. So, in case you wish to travel along but don't trust the captain I can asure there are enough life rafts on board in case you want to travel back to safer and calmer 'mind'-shores. 'All aboard!'

P.S.:Two songs that for sure express my innerstate: a golden oldie (Yes, you see it right that is Kate Cattrall!) and a modern 21st century girl with a warm voice.

La Dolce Far Niente

P had already asked a few times when we were going to watch that DVD that was lying aroudn in our living room. 'You mean 'Eat Pray Love'?', I asked him. Considering that rather a movie for women searching for their innerself I did gave him a bit a strange look. Because I did doubt that P did know what that movie was about and I knew that he was not such a fan of Julia Roberts her lips.

But desperate times call for desperate measures! And last night I did think that the movie was the perfect wrap up of my rather mind-racing week. Stallie is working on her inner self and it is not easy. Weekly I have now a very caring manual therapist who gets his hand on me. Rather confrontating because he did manage to open up Pandora's box. This guy who just seems to breath ZEN whole the time does ask some very straight forward questions and does send me out back into the cruel terrifying world with even more questions. So what flies out of the box triggers my mind. But at the same time I do come to my senses at the end of the week.

It is like a mind-voyage you get to make. I must admit that I forgot about the word 'therapist' when I walked into the practice of A. First time it was also not he who put his 'healing' hands down my aching neck & back. First session was his colleague E who walked through all the standard questions and gave me the first five dates to note down in my busy agenda. But one week later I met up with the real stuff.

Outcome of the last session: walking into my rather dark side. The Stallie, that can be so undecisive, that seems to forget easily things and important data (Yeah, I even forgot my password for my e-mail account. Freaked out and did crash and burn right in our living room!), the crying kind (a tiny dead hedgehog next to the road can make my eyes fill up with tears), less relaxing (I then tend to listen not as closely to what people tell me because my mind is so preoccupied!), go bezerk in my car (sorry for all those people out there who got the less nice Stallie-treatment. My bodylanguage is very clear when you are less clear where you are heading for with your car!),... I could go on for hours...

So yes, last night I was ready to unwrap that colorful DVD and pop the disc into the dvd-player. I dived under my comfortable & warm blanket and then hit the play button. And yes, for 140 minutes I managed to let go. Something that I according to my therapist still not seem to manage. It is funny when it happens and that while you watch a movie, read a book, marvel at a certain piece of art or listen carefully to a piece of music that you then can let go. But still....

'Eat Love Pray' is more then just a movie. In the first place it is a real story of a real person. This 'real' story you can read in the book that the author got published in 2006. I do own it but I have to admit (while my cheeks are coloring red) that I still not have read a single page of it. It is way at the end of my high book stack that is waiting to be digested. No, Elizabeth Gilbert was not high up on my reading wishing list. Also the critics had not all been so blessing about her and that made her end up very low.

Guess sometimes you do change your mind because ...each country that Liz visited triggered a soft spot in my heart and made me marvel and smile. There are plenty catchy quotes I could now fire away at you to make you convince that this is the right movie & book (read the book first!!!) to get your hands on for a rainy or depressing day... But I am not going to because I think you should get the chance to hear them for the very first time yourself spoken by the right people and not by 'in-the-process-of- lost&found'-Stallie.

And no, I don't have the luxery to do the exact thing as Elizabeth Gilbert, who quit her job for a year and managed to travel to Italy, India and Indonesia to find 'everything' or her innerself. But according to many who are into 'mindfullness' and take meditation very serious you should be able to do it anywhere & at anytime. All you need is you. A delicious plate of pasta in Rome, a beach holiday in Bali or going into seclusion in an Indian Ashram might trigger it but then the voyage still has not come to an end. It seems to be something you need to work on constantly but it should not ask to much energy. At least once you get the hang of it.

Am I? No, I still seem not to be one of these people. You would get a crack out of seeing me trying get into meditation posture! (my sis does master this and there is a pic on here somewhere to proof it! Awesome sis!) I just fall of the bed. An when I try to concentrate on my abdominal breathing I am about to choke! But that is for sure a key to a better awareness of yourself! Not to mention the chanting you need to do to get into trance. I just seem not to be able to memorize the correct order of them or I start to play word games with them. Stallie at her best!

I just have found out that coming to your senses and finding what you are after in life does take time. My mum surprised me a few months ago with telling my that she got to that point... It was very scary and at the same time hopefull to hear her say outloud that she did find fulfillment. That the circle in her mind was fully drawn and she was content. And I do envy her.

When I look at her face I do see so much more then just a face. In her eyes I can see that sparkle that I am desperately seeking and want to keep on burning. Yes, she does believe in some of the 'hocus pocus' the asians try to teach us, the tensed westerns. Not that she walks through the house chanting and meditates the whole time or only cooks macrobiotic food or uses alternative ways of healing. She has found her own path through life and manages to stay on it long enough to find peace,....

So, seems I have still a long way to go. For the moment I am trying to optimize the art of 'la dolce far niente'. I guess I am already screwing that up by blogging, downloading a new wallpaper for my desktop, buying music on iTunes and getting a cool iPhone-app and becoming a member of an inspiring Facebook-page. And now I am searching for my word, a word that covers me, the whole me that can stand the test of time and tell it all. Nothing ground breaking that will change the world or bring extra profit to our household. At least not visible!

Yes, I can call in some extenuating circumstances to call for: it are things related to 'Eat Pray Love'. I am also very sure that when P asks me what I have been doing while he was out getting smarter on one of his medical conferences and I tell him honestly that he will say:'So basically you have not been doing nothing!' Hey, I master already 'far niente' and I am experiencing 'la dolce' of it. One down of that long list!!!

P.S.: When I browsed through the book I came across this section and I do so agree with this. And did not need to watch 'Star Wars' once more to agree! LOL

"Ketut, why is life all crazy like this?", I asked my medicine man the next day.
He replied,"Bhuta ia, dewa ia."
"What does that mean?"
"Man is a demon, man is god. Both true."
This was a familiar idea to me. It's very Indian, very Yogic. The notion is that human beings are born, as my Guru has explained many times, with the equivalent potential for both contraction and expansion. The ingredients of both darkness and light are equally present in all of us, and then it's up to the individual (or the family, or the society) to decide what will be brought forth - the virtues or the malevolence. The madness of this planet is largely a result of the human being's difficulty in coming into virtuous balance with himself. Lunacy (both collective and individual) results. "

('Eat Pray Love', Elizabeth Gilbert, p.250-251)

P.S.2: In case you wish to board on an adventurous mind-trip and dare to search for everthing then you might want to check out: http://www.elizabethgilbert.com/eatpraylove.htm
You can also find tons of 'cool' things on Youtube and google goes wild when you give in this title. The Facebook-page has got over 1 million fans and easy to find as well. And on Twitter they are also already busy with 'Eat Pray Love', and what about a cool iPhone App that fires of some inspiring quotes to spice up your day. It is all out there for you to discover!! But don't forget they are only tools, you need to work hard yourself to make it work for you!!!

P.S.3: This goosebumps producing piece of Mozart opera music is on the Soundtrack of the movie. And yes, there are times that 'Der Hölle Rache kocht in meinem Herzem'. Bet most of us have tried to imitate once or twice to get that high but failed desperately. Enjoy the goosebumps!

Breathtaking Moments

Last night the moon was amazing to look at! It was announced as this phenomenon called 'superlunar' and so worht an extra glance up into the evening sky! I even was tempted to get my camera out but I just decided not to do so and just live the moment. I tried to suck up the energy that was beaming towards me. Love moonlight! For sure it was the SUPERMOON they had been raving on about on Twitter.

Today I raved on myself about many things. Because I decided to have a day of my own. Just me, myself and I. Nobody else to take into consideration for a few hours. P&A out for most of the day and I got then the pure luxery to have the house for myself. And one look outside told me that this day was going to be for a very sunny day. And what does Stallie do on a sunny Sunday in March?

Well I then first turn up the radio and play all my favorite music. This without having to put up with P his comments and him changing stations. Okay, I am getting the hang of Studio Brussels more and more. Like on Saturday evenings we have got our private dance away on StuBru music in our living room but still... The musical inhouse high light of the day was something special: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YKFxkqPdsoI


The Youtube Symphony took my breath away many times and I even hooked up my precious laptop on to our bluetooth speaker system. Most of the music was superb performed and this by 101 young musicians from 33 countries. One week long these talented musicians had been playing music all over the Australian hotspot. Their last night they would fill up the world famous Opera House with their divine sounds. My favorite piece: 'Mothership' (refering to the Operahouse and A even sees it in there:'Mum, that looks like a ship!') composed by Mason Bates. A piece he wrote especially for this occassion and this for orchestra & electronica with soloists. Gave me some goosebumps.



Classical music can still take this girl her breath away!!!

Next I decided to get myself ready to get lost in Brussels and clear my head. Lately I am trying to get my hear around stress and what causes it. There are many solutions but some are rather radical. I am the one who calls the shots but I feel sometimes so lost out there when I need make up my mind. So next I fired up my iPod Nano and jumped on the metro. I took along 'Shakespeare on Toast'. A little book I got in the giftshop of the Globe while I was over in London last summer. According to Judi Dench:'A brilliantly enjoyable, light-hearted look at Shakespeare which dispels the myths and makes him accessible to all! I love it!'

Yes, I have studied the most famous bard of all in high school & college! Therefor I did think at first glance that this book was not going to teach me anything new. But boy, was I wrong. It is like a crash course and goes beyond most of the stuff I had to dive into when I still was unwrinkled. And the author Ben Crystal,ladies, is he cool! http://www.shakespearontoast.com/meet-the-author




The old bard can still take this girl her breath away!

Once I got above ground I plugged in my headset and shuffled my music. My feet carried me around town and the music that my brain picked up seemed to make me go faster. And then I came across Bozar, the museum of fine arts. It was ages ago that I had been inside there. A&P are not into art like I do. Stallie can get lost in a museum. It is there that she does come back to her senses and forgets most of the other things that are going on. I travel then back to the center.

Today on was: Venetian and Flemish Masters I like old masters. In a way they calm me down. It is hard to explain but it might be the simplicity of the subjects and objects. The colors and the way the light is brushed down on wooden panels or canvas. The effect the audioguided tour had on me was beyond words. And yes, I did then get my Moleskine notebook out and started to note down random thoughts.

On one of the signs I came across I got to read this:

"Great art always touches the sacred, and resonates with the peace, the quiet, the infinity, the longing, the defiance, the melancholy and the angst that we carry deep within us. Each in its way..."

It are these fitting words that for sure wrap up where I got my eyes and mind set on. By the time I walked into the great gift shop I seemed to have been on a mind trip. My favorite painting and this for many reasons:



The Old Masters can still take this girl her breath away.

By the time I got out of the museum the sky was still breathtaking beautiful. In a way its color reminded me of that color only the most divine characters get 'dressed up' in: precious lapis lazuli! Still, my stomach was graving for food and not for just any food. Nope! Rather for one of these forbidden fruits when you are paying attention to your weight. But I had my mind set on this one and I tackled successfully all the lost tourists around the Big Market Square to get my hands on one of these:




YUMMY!!! Also this took my breath away!!! I then decided to call it the day and headed back home. Last song I got to hear before getting back into my car was this very fitting one:

Spring Break Poetry

Break! So I took some deep breaths and I digged once more into my stack of books that is waiting out there to be digested by the restless reading soul. Today I picked out the poetry book 'Best-loved Poems', edited by Neil Philip with nice illustrations by Isabelle Brent. I got that book when I was out there in the UK, visiting Hampton Court. I wandered into a very nice gift shop and got this book for a fiver. Sometimes I need poetry to take a break, to take deep breaths and connect back with the world I walk on.

So, I started to browse through it and I came across some very nicely composed poems. Some are very famous and I do not consider fit enough to be copied once more by my hands. It are rather the ones that are less well known that I wish to share with others. In the first reading of a poem or text does a lot of fresh emotions are set free. I can have sometimes that ultimate bliss when I read a text or poem that just can't be repeated when I read it for a second time.

Especially when it are news articles or something I happen to come across in a newspaper that is lying around in a bus, metro or just out there while waiting at the doctor. It are then I come across the real short reading gems. Words that can go the distance that can haunt me for a long time to come. They can trigger a spot of the mind where my emotions are living. Most of the time it will take me by surprise.

I have about the same with music and especially with classical kind. When I heared Vivaldi or some pieces of Mozart for the very first time that it seemed that life came to complete stand still. It touches the soul and when I then get the opportunity to read poetry along I sometimes cut myself of reality. Chances are that I won't hear the phone or the delivery man standing in front of our door.

So for the moment I am completely cut of reality while I typing this because I am listening to well known piano concerto No. 21 (Andante) by Wolfgang Mozart. And I am reading some of those beloved poems. One is I think very fitting with the very sunny Sunday I experienced today. Spring is in the air. The signs are out and I felt it in my bones. Hope that some more of these days are about to come.

"Who knows if the moon's a balloon"

Who knows if the moon's
a balloon, coming out of a keen city
in the sky - filled with pretty people?
(and if you and I should

get into it, if they
should take me and take you into their balloon,
why then
we'd go higher with all the pretty people

than houses and steeples and clouds:
go sailing
away and away sailing into a keen
city which nobody's ever visited, where

always
it's
Spring)and everyone's
in love and flowers pick themselves

E.E. Cummings

P.S.: I imagine this piece of music being played at my mum's house while the french windows are standing open and outside the breathtaking garden was awakening from the long winter sleep. It is a piece of music that can still make me hold my breath and admire the freshly created first signs of Spring with great admiration.

Dancing Spirits

It is midterm break and A is already questioning my plans about the free time ahead of us. 'Mum, when are we going to granny's? What? I have to wait till Wednesday? Can't we go now? Or what about swimming? Can't we go swimming then instead?' He is for sure ready for 7 school free days. To be honest, I also need a mini-break. Because my 6th sense was kicking back in. What I consider rather a blessing then a curse. But Stallie hates it when she becomes the restless soul who hardly can think straight and seems to be less focused.

I can have those moments that I wish to just scream hard outloud and run. Keep on running and only come to a halt when my heartbeat tells me to and my breathing can't keep up with me. Yes, I even have been crying lately while driving to work. It might sound pathetic but that force is then so much stronger then me. Don't worry I don't lose it out there. No, that is something that I have pledged: 'Try as less as possible to let private emotions and feelings get in the way of your job description.'

Still, I am only human. So the moment I get into my car and hit the road I snap back into that restless mode. And even the up to beat songs of 'Glee' and the breathtaking beautifully performed songs of Sting don't seem to manage to get me back on track. Sorry to all the chauffeurs who have the honor to meet up with my less funny body language behind the steering wheel but you were also using my car to get a point across. 'Your car looks so vulnerable and mine is a monster! So I am just going to cut you off! Now!!!' You just couldn't know that this act for the moment even is stressing my personal state of mind.

Do I feel crushed or is something in the way? Uhm, I lately have been speeding things up a bit by trying to get back into the spirit I use to have when I was younger. Stallie felt ready to dip her toe back into the cold water and even thinking of going in the whole way. I was ready to go the distance something I had not dare for a very long time. I faced my fears and with my eyes wide open. I even was sitting out there in the front row! Not that it was easy but I did it. Do I regret it now? Nope, not a single sec. But it means that I now need to move on. No excuses anymore!

Moving on means that I need to take risk and perhaps face failure and dissapointment. Not my favorite human feelings. But hey, those dancing shoes are calling out to me. And along with them so many things that I can put into practice. The signs are not lying, even my body is telling me that it wants to go back and move back on to the barre and the movements I then can experience. It wants to be set free and express itself.

When I am running now up down a flight of stairs (I LOL now at every elevator and escalator I come across) I do feel so different. So much lighter (and for sure the weight lose is partly to thank for that!) and I then experience that I am not out of breath when I come to end of it. Even am tempted to run on and start to perform one of these dance routines out a musical or dance movie. My iPod Nano has made me already move my feet and body while being in public places. Think metro, car, post office line, class room, walking on the streets of the European capital and even while doing grocery shopping.

P asked me a few weeks ago what had changed. Why I suddenly seem to manage some things that he had tried to make clear to me but always came up with insane sounding (at least to him they must have!) excuses? After all this busy inhouse doc does care about my general well being and state of my mind. Sometimes he just seems not to have read very carefully the manual that comes along with me. 'This time I am doing this for myself! I realy want to do it and not because someone is telling me to do so!'

Not that I have not been cheered on the last few months. No, on that part I can call myself so blessed. When turning around and take a good look at what I have standing out there close by and far off then I can state for sure that I have got some real good friends and family. People that care and can activate me and are in some cases my conscience. I need them for many less but also for less obvious reasons.

And no, they not are always easy on me. Some of them can be questioning my choices and opinions. Can be very straight forward and just tell me very plainly what their point of view is. On top of that I have made the last three months 'new friends'. These friendships give me the opportunity to reflect and put things in a different (rightful?) perspective. Along with them I seem to also pay more attention to what now people tell me and the advice they try to give me.

Someone recently asked me what it feels like when I dance. This person was of course using one of the very well known lines from the inspiring movie 'Billy Elliot'. I just did not need to hesitate about the answer. But it had been for such a long time that I had expressed my feelings on that part. Because they go about so much more then just dancing. It is about feeling alive and at the same time knowing that life can hurt and cause pain. That happiness is fragile and that you need to be ready to face also the darker side of the human existence.

My mind is activated and I have been out there this week trying to give the dancing the rightfull place it deserves in my life. I am almost there! So, okay I am in a restless state of the mind and I am once more doubting certain situations and decisions. But now I seem to be able to do this more and more while my feet move along with back ground music. It might help me to make the difference!

So yesterday, I was out there on the dancefloor of the school's carnival party. I was dressed up as a doc (thanks P for the outfit!!) and when a colleague dipped me over I was ready to let go. But it seemed I was still holding back a bit. 'Hey Stallie, I won't let you fall', he then said. 'I know!' and I did not even care about the fact that my pupils were LOL. One day a year they are allowed to make fun of me without risking losing points. But what they were not aware of was my state of mind. And I am sure about that because I first checked if not any of them was dressed up as Edward Cullen. Just to be on the safe side out there!

P.S.: I wish to thank many people out there who have pushed me a bit the last few months. Some of you might have been aware of it, some less but all of you have for sure helped setting the dancing spirit of Stallie once more free. Very grateful for that.

The Energy Boost Box

The second work week of January came to an end. I am about to face one of these weekends that P will be out of the house most of the time. Saturdays he will hide out in his private practice and on Sunday he will be out for work training! Believe it or not but there is work training for busy docs on a Sunday! Uhm, guess that we will only meet up while brushing our teeth and perhaps dinner!

But I had a productive week and I got to meet up with tons of things that made me smile. I am even tempted to state that in some dull brown boxes I did find the energy boost I am always after to get through a busy week.

1. BOOKS. That I had to unload all my cupboards for the painters I did not like. Would even state that it kind of hurt! Especially the fact that the announced workforce did not show up last Monday made me get into a real Twitter-outburst! Tiny little detail: they will come at the end of this month! P even said very spontaneously sorry for this mix up!!!! Wrote that one down in my diary!

But I did meet up with some very nice bookgems. Some of them I would like take over to my bank and then hire one of their high tech security vaults. For the moment it are especially the books illustrated by Rébecca Dautremer of whom I got three books filled up with breathtaking illustrations by her hand. When I dive into them chances are few that you can reach me easily! The one here below is an illustration out of her latest book:'Het geheime dagboek van Klein Duimpje.' Just so gorgeous to look at and one of those books that I do cherish for eternity! And those are some of the books that I will one day hand over to A or E (chances are in a dull brown box!) to take to their own house!



2. POETRY & QUOTES. I have got tons of oneliners in bookform. I do need some of these lines to get through certain moments of my lifeline & daily timeline! And yes I do think that the power of words is still underestimated. Words can make you feel better but can also get you down. This week I did experience both. Once words are put down on paper and can be read by others they do come to live in a different dimension. They are set free and you as a reader are given the priveledge to give your own interpretation to them.

This is also with poetry! One of the rather cute poems I came across while filling up the dull brown boxes is by the hand of Sjoerd Kuyper and to be found in children's book 'Ik blijf altijd bij je!' I am going to tease you and not translating this. You can make use of Google Translate trying to find out what it is about but this one would be for sure a very fitting one for Bella Swan to write down on a card for Edward Cullen!

Blozen

Ik hou niet zo van bloed,
jij wel?
Ik hou het liever in mijn vel.
Daar zit het goed,
mijn bloed.

Het enige wat ik graag zie
is een klein korstje op mijn knie,
waaraan ik op een luie dag
lang en voorzichtig pulken mag.

Nee, ik wil nooit meer bloeden.
En ik wil nooit meer blozen.
Maar als ik jou zie!
Ja, wat dan?
Dan bloeien alle rozen.


3. HISTORY: My all time favorite subject that I took in any school, college and university (and this globally) I have ever been to was history. I have to admit here openly that is for me the subject I miss the most not able to teach for the moment. So I do own tons of books that tell historical facts or are inspired historical persons or events. One of the most cherished history books that I own I was given by my beloved grandmother for my 21st birthday. When I read some its pages I do feel history resting in my hands: Ἱστορίης ἀπόδεξις! (I bet there is one of my faithful readers who is able to translate this one! ;-)) by the hand of the father of the historical database: Herodotus! Especially the passages where Darius & Alexander meet up!
And then there is this awesome scene in one of my 'coep de coeur' movies & books 'The English Patient' where Katherine, played by the superb Kristin Scott Thomas, adds a special touch to this rather oldie!



(One of my British all time favorite actors Colin Firth in there as well! And my perfect 'Mr Darcy' won this week a Golden Globe and I am very happy for him!!!! And now Colin, you go for that Oscar!! 50 is a great age to win that funny statue!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2dCLQWW7GQo (copy&paste this one!)

4. MUSIC: Our house is filled up with tons of dull brown boxes and they are in the way! Our curtains have been taken down and our walls have been stripped naked and so for the moment our house is not the most cozy place to hang out. But one advantage it does bring along is that the empty space offers to do other fun things. And the last few days we have taken full advantage of this by dancing through our house. P is the best DJ ever and thanks to the bluetooth soundsystem we have got upstairs we even manage to dance all the way into the bathroom. Believe it or not but the dancing did seem to work for the mindfullness I am after! But every time A came up with this personal request P&I wanted to put in some earplugs!



So #1 according to A in order to dive into the bathtub and then imitate a rodent and shake up the house:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLxhuICUZbc.

P&I are for the moment trying to come up with a waterproof plan to make the DVD of 'Alvin & the Chipmunks' disappearing out of our house! So far no luck because A even takes the case up to his bedroom!

So #1 according to our inhouse doc:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ezXxBY1AWfU

And he goes all the way on this one and he even forgets to follow up his own strict health regulations when this comes out of the speakers. I can assure you when he is out there in his nice pair of jeans, very cool blue shirt and his curls are waving into all directions that this girl just starts to move along and feels very happy!

SO #1 according to Stallie:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Fkxo7EsVOI

This girl (who also got her hair cut this week and got two thumbs not only by P also by her fantastic co-workers!) then starts to make silly movements and is very tempted to put on every single silly or fancy head she has got out there in some of the dull brown boxes! And yes, I did lost it due to this whole boxes-thingy! But for the moment I try to get the most positive energy boost out of them! This music manages to chase away for a few seconds the rathr dull and cold atmosphere that is looming around in our house!

5.SECRET PROJECTS:


Uhm, what can I tell about these because there are few? Well not much because then they are no secrets any longer. One made me go back to that one place where I last year got so dillussioned but seem to be granted an other go!
And I love it out there! It is there I get my major energy boost and seem to find out why I did choose for education above all other great things there was to choose from! The other one is of a total different order and it something that will take some time to come to live. But I am working at it.

6. COMEBACKS & NEWCOMERS:

COMEBACK of the week: GARFIELD! A is totally obsessed by him and this thanks to his awesome godmother N who gave him the movie as a xmas-present. I even broke out in sheer laughter because some of the rather funny scenes. A is even wondering what will happen if he would try to eat as much lasagne as Garfield! And so I even digged up one of these little books I have with Garfield cartoons. Here above you can find one that makes me LOL.

NEWCOMERS of the week are MY 'SPECIAL' JUNIORS, who had to get ready to face the real world and leave on Monday for their very first job placement training. Most of them are very nervous and even are doubting if they will manage. I wish them good luck next week when they for the first time in their lives will be on their own and having to cope with the daily ingredients of the working force. I have faith in them and these girls have got for sure some FIREWORK in them! So girls, this one is especially for you:

Happy New Notes Year!!!

Orkut.MastiTree.Com

You might have noticed that Stallie did not leave any posts lately. Why? Writer's block? Nope! Second thaughts once more about blogging? Nope! Nothing worthwhile to write about? Nope! Nothing of the latter! I just took a blog-leave for a few days. I granted that myself and I am tempted to keep that going on till I go back into work. But I do look forward blogwise to 2011! A new year means tons of new stories are in the making! Can't tell what I have in store for you. Time will tell.

I have for once not made any new year's resolutions. They don't agree with me! I have tried so many times and failed even more at trying. The list I created at the beginning of a new schoolyear is already hard enough to keep up with. And believe it or not keeping up with that one I seem to manage quite well. Still I do have some hopes. The year 2011 I do consider in my head quite important. Not that I can talk much about it. Because the times that I mention it or even start moaning about it I then get very cranky. Refuse to be that at the beginning of something new and fresh as a new year.

But I still have faith in most of the people & things I truely believe in. The champagne and the other festive-like filled up glasses have not killed that spirit. There was even one bottle that stood out and you can be sure that it made my head spin and my heart glow! Thanks M&D for that extremely special night to end and start the year! So Stallie won't be up for major changes in the next 12 months, my expectations are low or call them rather realistic. No big plans to change the world or to do major (unless asked for) interventions in the lives of others.

So you can rest assured that I will still try to act according to my true beliefs. That I still try to keep up my faith in many objects and people. People who I love and sometimes will curse as well. Perhaps even hurt and will get hurt by! I am only human and not perfect. Also very fragile! The Xmas season always makes me feel humble and also very grateful for what I have been given or have received. Especially second chances!

In 2010 I have been granted that a few times and have granted it to others. No regrets on that part. It made my life more worthwhile. I did lose some 'good' (at least that was I thaught for years!) friends in the last 12 months but in the end even that process brought me so much more. It granted me to travel into the depth of human relationships and feelings. And I discovered that I do feel blessed and that human happiness is mostly someting you can create yourself by doing very small things.

When I do feel low I turn on the radio or plug in my headphones. I do admit that I then sometimes will start to move around. My feet then take over my mind and then I am of to a different place. That is all that it will take to find back my focus. If life would have background music to it and the globe would be one gigantic well polished dancefloor I would be out there dancing away. Once in while I will even unplug myself and then perhaps take a break and just listen to the music. Music can heal or at least bring peace to the restless soul.

I therefor wish you in 2011 lots of forceful notes that will go crescendo, once in a while an adagio to take things at ease and time and patience to listen to the music composed by others. 2011 will brings for sure new billboard hits and also a few one hit wonders but in the end you are the one who writes his or her own symphony of life!

In case you are thinking of letting us play along: I am better at dancing then playing a musical instrument but I love being the triangle, P prefers the drums and A is awesome at goofing around on the electric guitar, the air kind!! Here at home we seem to be ready as well to face the music of 2011! But we hope especially to hear many happy tunes! Music Maestro!!! PLEASE!!!


P.S.: I picked out a song by Sting because he manages to do something music-wise with me that not many can. Danced tons of solos on this one on toeshoes! Love as well the movie 'Bed Of Roses' they have integrated in this one. HINT HINT: buy in 2011 once in a while a bit more flowers for the ones you love it will make their hearts melt and smile or it can be the first sparkle of hope you are after! Or perhaps a singing telegram? ;-))

Stallie Her Xmas-card Issue

Uhm, I have this thing going on with my mailinglist for xmascards. I use to have a digital list of the people we did send A his birth announcement to. P managed to delete that one about a year ago. Happened right before xmas. I totally freaked out. P then came up with the sublime idea to just make a digital card and then mail that to all our friends and family. Yeah, right! We had already bought all our xmas cards so.... was I about to give them away to the Salvation Army or what?

I then sent some textmessages to friends to ask once more for their address: again!!!!! Well, I kind of forgot to write down the adresses our friends did mail us for the tenth time! Most of them seem even to forget that you do better put a return address on the back! I was brave enough to send one final request and also some first requests. And so now I have got this oldfashioned addressbooklet where I am going to note down all the mailing addresses and then never have to ask again.

You might wonder why I still prefer the 'real' xmas card to the rather modern one. Well, it is an act of love and labour I put into that one special card. People who know us for a very long time to know that we take quite some time to send out our newsletter. Our personal feedback of how we experienced the year out there. I hope to get started after I get back from my mum. Will be feeling as a stuffed turkey because of all the food that she will have prepared with love for us to digest with love!

I only write that in Dutch. It is a tradition. There are people who even check if they are still on the mailinglist and if I will still have the time to write that one letter. Uhm, well! This year I have a bit a writer's block but I hope that the champagne will do wonders.This year I was thinking of also translating it into English but I have second thaughts about that one. Would never be the same!

I can post it here and then you can perhaps put it through Google translation. You will then have a very good time trying to decrypt that one. So when I politely ask for your address I am not stalking you. I might get carried a bit away because of the spirit of xmas and that I do love to mail people real cards. But for all these people who this year won't get on the mailing list or rather prefer not to receive one I picked out the card here above as my personal xmas-card of the year 2010! Especially for the Twitter-family I get to spend a rather nice time with: this one is for you! Because these boys&girls, ladies&gentlemen will always stay on the Safe&Sweet Tweet Side of Life!

P.S.: I will be driving home for xmas (Boxing Day) and can't wait to hold E in my arms and look into those incredible brown eyes of hers where hope can still be found unconditionally!

Walking Through A Winter Wonderland

Uhm, AHHHHHHHHHHH!!! The end is near! Stallie is about to collapse underneath the xmastree in our living room and move into the nativity set! Today I had to face the fact that I am just not going to make it into time for the picture perfect xmas I am after! Today I had the white flag out and just surrendered. Already for years I do know that I only will be in the mood once that I close the door of my classroom and all the kids have left the building.

Well, here in Belgium that is going to be on the 24th of December: xmas-eve!!! Prep-time for xmasdinner?? No need for that! Because first of all Sundays before xmas the supermarkets and many shops will be open! You can do all your gift shopping over the internet. You can start week before already start searching for that one ultimate herb you want in your xmas-turkey! That xmascard you can already write in October and then mail just before the Holidays! And you can start planning the menu and table setting for that one delicous dinner you are dreaming of with family or friends when the first xmas cooking issues pop up in November. Your party outfit you can even already fit and buy in August. So that you even have plenty of time to start loosing those extra pounds you want to get rid of. Timewise getting ready in order to celebrate xmas that should be a piece of cake!

Well, not for this girl because it only can be xmas when it is really xmas. When I feel it in my toes! Not that I have tried the last few days. Last Monday I even locked myself out. Don't ask me how I managed to do this but it just me! Stallie already being totally somewhere else instead of focusing on a 6y old dressed up for a polar expedition, a key and the alarm.

After dropping of A (thanks to this trip I finally believe A that there is a shortcut to school) I faced the music and went into Brussels to retrieve the spare remote-control of our garage. 'Ukkel-Overijse that is not the end of the world', I kept thinking very positively. 'It is going to be a nice trip!' Well, thanks to some very nice friends I first got a ride into the city! They first searched over the internet the right bus and metro (there does not ride a single metro to that hospital of P! I knew this! Very patient-friendly!) and then they handed me over a cup of coffee on the go! So there I went for a trip of a lifetime through my own capital.

Well, I travelled once more through the city where I have lost my heart to where I am totally convinced of that there is something very special about. That the heart of Europe beats here. That it takes a life time to unravel its hidden secrets & treasures. The moment I walked through the city covered up by a fresh coat of snow I caught once more a hint of what I love so much about Brussels!

By the time I made it into the hospital to look for P my body felt very warm. Not that the busride had been such a pleasure. No, it were many other small details that had given me back my smile on my face. I had seen it in some hidden corners: the postcard-like trainstation of Bosvoorde under construction, the many art nouveau houses which now had this extra touch of frost all over, the busstops with exoctic names like 'Brasil' or 'Montana' (what is in a name?), the desolated parcs that looked like they could be starring in 'Narnia', a stolen kiss on the bus, the mother who tried to get her kid to school in time, the older lady who nibbled on a croissant while waiting for the bus, Ter Kameren Bos that looked like a fairytale,....

I had called P I was coming in. Mondays is procedure day! So that I got to see him in scrubs and in action was a nice consolation prize. Also catching up with the nurses who P gets to spend so much time with! But no time to waste! I wanted to get back in time. Back on the bus and then change lines at Auderghem. Well, there I faced my next hurdle. No bus heading for Overijse in the near future. And on top of things I had to walk first to a cash machine to get money out of the bank because (Minister Quickie!!! perhaps something you can do about!)my Brussels Jump-ticket does not work for a Flemish busline leaving Brussels! So then I decided to plug in once my headphones and I start to walk home.

Yes, I did! People like Myrlene, Laura, Robbie, Madonna, the whole Putumayo Brazilian Lounge collection and the 'Twilight'-score kept me company. I walked through a real Winter Wonderland. There were moments I felt quite alone in that gorgeously looking forest. It was on that walk that I felt that xmas was near that it was about to re-enter my life. I took plenty of pics with my faithful little camera!

When I then walked into our streets I felt refreshed and was glowing. Rudolph the red nosed reindeer must have felt quite humble compared to my composure. The downside was when I got home it was about to time to pick up A at school. And when I then pushed the button of the remote control I panicked because nothing happened! Our garage porch stayed closed like a high security vault. Fifteen minutes later, two very loud yelling phonecalls with P (nurses must think by now that I am a kind of insane!) and keep on pushing on that tiny little button like a madwoman I finally re-entered my own kitchen for a hot cup of George Clooney coffee!

Well, I made it and yes thanks to that little tiny detail I got to walk through a gorgeous and breathtaking Winter Wonderland. The downside is now that all my shoppingplans vanished into thin air. P was smart and got out to buy his own xmas present. I have wrapped now some of the hidden presents but the major ones (including my own! Because I am going to spoil myself!! YES!!!) still need to be bought. I am going to get there! When?

Well, when the next snow storm did pass by. When is that? Now idea? I have things planned the next 24 hours to 2 weeks. I will be passing out report cards and smile even at Newborns and then celebrate in the company of my co-workers. The Holiday season kickoff is then a fact and then 24 hours later I will hope to be unwrapping presents with A! I am driving home for xmas as well and meeting up with family, old and new friends! P will be in and out and also in the way! He is a few days evicted from the hospital but will be hiding in his private practice in case you are in need of someone with a medical degree!

In case I get snowed in I wish you all the very best xmas! Wherever you are! I also wish to thank all my secret and less secret readers. Even the ones who caused my pain or kept me awake at night. Thanks for reading me. Also all my Twitter-friends who add some extra color to my life.

P and A of course can't and won't be forgotten! The two of you are my greatest source of inspiration. The reason that the blog is alive and kicking! Santa has already planted a huge box underneath the tree for a 6y old who is growing to fast. P will have to pick out his own present. He hates surprises but he has got this major important birthday coming up in 2011! So in case you have not gotten tired of us: tune back in soon! We will be back with some more stories. 'As Life Goes By' I realise more and more that I am so lucky.... Have yourself a merry little xmas and I wish you a very big box filled up with love, peace, health, joy and inspiration! And that the unwrapping takes place in the company of those you hold close to your hearts!

P.S.: Yes, I picked this song months ago. At least I was in time with this one! 'Samson & Gert' are already over 20 years entertaining very young and old. Gert is still the same guy! Samson not but this song I do think is about that one feeling that we should cherish the most and can't wrap up: PEACE!

Love The Classics

In case you are wondering if I am totally obsessed with 'Twilight' and do not seem to notice anything else worthwhile out there in the 'arty-farty'-world then I want to assure you by this entry. I am a 'Capricorn' and in many ways very conventional and stick to many traditional stuff. Yes, I must admit that this 'Twilight'-thingy is a bit more then just a phase but it also triggers my urge to travel back into time literature-wise. Then I dive into my boxes filled up with dusty college books and then check out the books that are way in the back of my cupboard. Hidden treasures then start popping up in our house!

While browsing around on the internet (searching for a suitable quote for our xmas-card) I came across to a very special illusterous poet: Percy Byssche Shelley! One who has got to honor to have one of those breathtaking Memorials! When you will by accident ever walk by while walking around on the campus of Oxford University you will be silenced by this one! It is such a powerful marble statue! If you have got the time to spare you should sit down there and take a break. And let the marble speak for itself!

If you wonder who Shelley is, you can best google him. A very nice reference site is: www.online-literature.com and then search for Percy Shelley. Here you can read up on him, his life and work. Seemed that this guy had a preference for the dramatic and romantic way of treating life. Many notorious & famous British men had the honor to call him a friend. Friendship was to Shelley very important! It even caused him financial heartaches once in a while.

For a guy who lived in the 19th century he was rather a rebel, a man with outspoken opinions, a political activist, an atheist, a traveller, a true romantic soul, and much more. I challenge you to read up on him because what you will find out about him does make him an exceptional poet. What do I like best about Shelley? Well, perhaps that his poems are so well structured and have such a depth! That he choose his words so well and ..... Hey, check this out for yourself. Because in the case of literature, poetry, art and music we don't have to agree at all. I just try to point out that knowing your classics can still brighten up your day!

And no, I have not intently picked this poem because of a certain vampire word! Nope, this is just a coincidence! Although, if I come to think of it.... I can picture Edward Cullen reciting this to his Bella at the end of'New Moon'! You don't need to agree with me! Uhm,... I am tempted now to go on that Shelley might have bumped into Carlisle Cullen at the time! LOL! If not in London then in Italy! And the biggest coincidence: they are both vegetarians! Just coincidences! Don't you love such coincidences!?



'O Mary dear, that you were here
With your brown eyes bright and clear.
And your sweet voice, like a bird
Singing love to its lone mate
In the ivy bower disconsolate;
Voice the sweetest ever heard!
And your brow more...
Than the ... sky
Of this azure Italy.
Mary dear, come to me soon,
I am not well whilst thou art far;
As sunset to the sphered moon,
As twilight to the western star,
Thou, beloved, art to me.

O Mary dear, that you were here;
The Castle echo whispers 'Here!'

—“To Mary” (1818)

P.S.: HINT HINT!!! Poetry by Shelley could be the perfect romantic xmasgift. Wrap it in nice giftpaper and then a big red bow around it! I would die for such a gift and the side effects of such a xmas-gift are not suitable for publication! LOL

P.S.2: In case you wonder who the beauty in this picture is. I don't know! This painting is by John Godward, a neo-classic painter. Would love to have a reproduction of this in my office! Idea for a birthdaypresent!