The Rebound

Outside the daylight is already getting less time to show off and today I got so cold that I was tempted to make hot coco with tiny marsh mellows in it. This in order to find back the warmth. Instead I tried to pick up some heat that was coming out of my computer or I let A crawl up on my lap and asked him to hang out in a bit longer with me. I also tend to spend then a bit longer time in front of the television with P.

Like for the moment P&A are watching their weekly portion of car fun. 'Top Gear' is on and then I tend to let the two of them bound on the couch. Not that I will not watch along but it is just cute to see them both get into the whole thing. A will comment on how fast the cars seem and will cheer on the Stig when he test races a new fast car. P seems to be on a different planet for about 60 minutes. One where I just do not seem to exist. There are even moments that I think that he is imitating the noises the engines are making. I told him this week that if I would behave the same way about books and handbags that he would kick me out. He appeared not to agree with me!

But the highlight of our TV weekend was the movie 'Rebound'. P had made me change channels after we saw how journalist Russell Crow (gosh smelling a story and going after the facts seems so much more excited then what I do at a daily basis!)and Ben Affleck (politics, power and money are a deadly combination when it comes down to friendship) in action. I was tempted to call it the night after that 'State of Play' but P convinced me by telling me that was going to a 'nice' one to watch.

P & I differ in many ways and also when it comes down to our preference of movies. So I was sceptic! Especially when I saw Mrs Douglas filling up the screen. Catherine Zeta Jones plays in this one a mature divorcee with two young children finding back the right paste in her live. In my honest opinion was the synopsis P gave me not the most promising one. But I stayed put and did crawl under a nice blanket to keep the cold out of my system. And thankfully I did.

I am not going to give you away everything but I even started to note down oneliners. The best was when P&I started to LOL at the exact same moments or when I saw P almost crawling over the couch. We both were totaly relaxed and got into this nice littly story of two people falling in love. Okay one does look like he still has got to graduate from high school and the other did for sure got some plastic surgery done to still look like that after all that time.

The thing is that we perhaps all once have been on the rebound and that even some of us are in the process of moving out of somewhere to get things back in order. Not that I think that most of my friends who have decided to move on without the man they first embarked with on the life cruise but then decided to disembark are searching now for a younger lad to share their lives with. This story is about so much more then just two 'lost' people who find out where they belong.

Yes I must say that the character Aram is my type of guy. He reads Harry Potter, can entertain children by goofing around, watches 'Top Chef' in order to pick up ideas for a nice dinner and can sing a song before bed time. A very hard guy to resist. P his best comment was when the end credits where rolling over the screen:'Hey, do you get this? Why are they broadcasting such a cute movie at such a late hour? Is it because of the 25 having intercourse with a 40 year old? She does look 25 herself in this one!'

Last night we had a very good night on the couch and we think that Sandy and Aram do deserve to fill up a cold, wet and windy Autumn night.

P.S.: And because it is a bit stronger then myself, just a few oneliners to get you into this one:

- 'What a nanny??? You are not from Trinidad but from upper Manhattan!'
- 'You have got a perfect posture!' (the best compliment you can get from a chiropractor on a first date!)
- 'I love theories! They make me all horny!'
- 'Don't you want to travel around the world, go crazy, rock Cleveland?'

Breakout

Stallie did cheer in front of her television when she saw Jonathan Borlée racing past his brother. It might have been not their best race but it was for sure kind of nice to see the two come in first and second. Winning the 400m on the night of the Memorial Vandamme is for a Belgian for sure memorable. Jonathan must have felt quite relieved that he can still show off with those 'sexy' legs of his even when his fast brother is running in a lane next to him. They seem both to get the best out of themselves. These two do not paralyse when an other suddenly seems to speed up things. Tonight they both got wings. The smiles they showed while the flash lights went of where kind of nice to look at while recovering of this rather tiring last week.

First of all the news that there is for the very first time some real break through when it comes down to Belgian politics. BHV is on paper split up. It might not matter to you but it does to me. I can not fully explain to you what these three letters stand for because that would take more then 50 years. But I live in the constituency Brussel-Halle-Vilvoorde and it became time that Brussels was going solo when it comes down to electoral votes. Stallie has a very outspoken personal meaning about all this political circus. But I agreed with all Flemish parties that something needed to be done about BHV.

It might have been taking over 400 days to make all political parties understand that you sometimes need to make changes in order to make things better. Even if it is going to hurt or that you will need to work harder. Okay, I still have not gotten out the bottle of bubbles to celebrate because this is just the first hurdle they had to take in order to form a federal government. But at least it is a break through and a promising one.

Today I ended up in a state of mind that I did wish that there had been a major break through in a meeting room. There are some things that I wish to change for the better where I work. Because let us be honest nothing is perfect and most things need once in a while to be adjusted. The world is not static and I don't think that you always can leave things like you are used to them because it is a habit or that it suits you best. When you are responsible for others their future you do need to think ahead and perhaps take a risk once in a while.

Stallie needs sometimes a 'break out' to make her feel good about her job. I am sometimes surprised how people can differ on that part. In general I do get along with most of my coworkers. People who are highly qualified and have many talents to use in order to educate kids who seem to have a less easy time out there on the learning frontier. My job place is in many ways for sure a very nice place to send your troubled child to.

But there are moments that I do feel a bit lonely in a filled up room. Then chances are likely that some of the following sentences chase by: why does my heart rate goes up? Why is it that my blood presure is higher then this morning when I was about to get hit by a white van? Why do I not fully agree with the person next to me who seems to think that everything is just fine and does not need to be changed? Why I seem not to feel the strength for the moment to speak up my mind? Why do they use less friendly words? What are they afraid of? What makes them use such language? What is the point of this discussion? What will be different when I leave this room?... I can go on for hours what goes on in Stallie her mind.

So yes, for the moment this teacher wants to breakout. I am very much tempted to even agree with the fact that our 'resigning' (most be the longest resignation period ever in world history by now) prime minister decided to take an other job. Yves said not yes to a glass of Uzo but a very clear yes to the OESO. And he does admit that he does like this kind of job.

So Yves decided to dive into a think tank and hopes that the economical advices that he and his fellow thinkers come up will be taken seriously. I do wish him all the luck because even on that part there are not guarantees. Perhaps he should take along some bottles of Uzo in case that he seems to have the impression that people do not take him serious or that nobody listens to him. The Greecs might be grateful to him because every bottle they sell now might now make their National deficit a bit smaller. Perhaps I should as well get that bottle out but then don't you think that a Cuba Libre will be eassier to force a real mind breakout? Cheers!!!!

Today I ....

Today I said goodbye to a very special person.
Today I entered one of those places where my heart can hurt.
Today I cried and smiled.
Today I overcame grief in order to speak out loud some very meaningful words.
Today I listened to many meaningful words of others.
Today I hold hands, kissed and hugged.
Today I searched for the right words but not always found them.
Today I whispered comforting words into ears of people I deeply care about.
Today I prayed for many but also for my own sake.
Today I saw tears in the eyes of friends and strangers.
Today I felt helpless and lonely in a filled up church.
Today I touched wood but felt so much more then that.
Today I walked in the sun and felt the wind blow in my face.
Today I whipped my face dry.
Today I gave into many emotions.
Today I tried to be strong.
Today I met up with silence...dead silence.
....
Today I attended a funeral.

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Corinthians+13&version=NIV



P.S.: Yes, today a young mother (who happens to be one of my closest friends!) said goodbye to her amazingly nice mother. And yes, there was in front of the church standing a real lady whose words touched me.

Ballet Come-Back

YES!!Stallie did it! Today I took the final hurdle to get back into ballet studio. I signed up for classes. I managed to drive today to Leuven to sign up for this. There are many reasons why I seem not find the energy and the right mental climate to put back on my ballet shoes and dance away.

For years I did stay away of anything ballet related. Even listening to ballet music made me feel less upbeat. In a way my body even kept me away of even trying to move on music. The day that I got from under the scanner and the radiologist told me that it was very obvious what was causing all the pain in my back (double hernia) I kind said farewell to ballet shoes.

I also got rid of most things that were linked to ballet. One day I even found out that I had been very radical about the ballet clean out. I had thrown away everything that I could even associate with world of pointes and tutus. Also the ballet statue that my parent had given me as a gift I had stored away in a spot where the sunlight wasn't able to touch.

What made me go back? Well that is a very long and personal mind voyage. I can not share this with you on paper because you have not been with me when I drifted off. The pilgrimage I was on was incredible intens. There have been moments that I was about to call the whole thing off. To give in and 'kill' what was left of of my urge to make a comeback on the dancefloor. For a long time it seemed that I had locked out the ballet shoes and that I not felt 'well' enough to give them some space in my life. In a way the hernia was perhaps only 'an exuse' because there were some other more mind blocking reasons why I decided to keep the ballet studio shut.

I won't be able to dance all the moves that I was able to perform when I was younger. Painful muscles will be involved by putting on back my ballet shoes and trying to bend my feet in the correct position. I will have to empty my head and let the music take over my soul.

And yes, I am nevous and excited at the same time for my first lesson. The moment that I will grab for the barre and have to go from first to second position and have to bend my back I hope to feel what I have missed for such a long time. And when I then will face the mirror I hope to take a very good look at myself. What I hope to see and feel that I do know very well. For once I am going to be happy that it is a Monday. Because starting this Monday this will equal ballet classes! So in case you do notice me dancing instead of walking then is it because I am practising my moves.

There are some people that kind of helped/pushed/cheered me on in order to get back into that 'lost' dancing mode. Thanks to these people I will dare to unlock that last lock that I did put on my 'dancing' heart. It did cost some time, energy and faith in order to slip back in that outfit and daring to look back into that huge mirror. So thanks mum & sis (cheering me on and getting me back dressed for my comeback), my brother and his daughter A (seeing her dance at her first public performance made me believe it was possible!), F (salsa music, moves and cocktails will always help to feel the passionate rhytme out there!!), A (those needles help me to focus on what truely matters!), H&B&C (I can not fully explain but believe me you all 3 helped!!!) you for sure did make this happen. Of course there are many others who have told me that ballet was not something of my past and that it was still in reach. So all of you: thank you from the bottom of my heart!!

P.S.: Of course I also need to thank A who seems to have found out that music is a great tool in order to make your body move around. Yes, he and I dance around through the house. His moves can make me smile and he did think it was 'cool' that his mum is going back!!! Dancing with my son is one of the best moments of the day!

Education Matters

Yes, they are back! Almost every single one of the ones who made the promise to come back to our school made it in. We are still growing and there is even the sensation that our school is getting to small. But many were happy to see that number wise we are doing great.

I am very aware of the fact that I am a teacher and that teachers have the tendency to take some things so serious! Even themselves! Sometimes have a hard time to take risks once in a while. Teachers try to be prepared and want to create the perfect setting in order to stimulate success. Not only their own but in the first place enable their audience to get a good result. So this involves thinking, planning, doubting and even some 'failing'.

Like every year also the written press did some educational coverage about the educational world before school started. It is then that we suddenly can relocate our minister of education. Who seems to have been hibernating for quite some time! Mnay of us you do not need to be best friends with your big boss. Personally I do not wish to be one of his followers on Twitter and I do not aim to get on his Facebookpage. To be honest I even have never checked out if he is even on one of these social networks. No need for that!

But I do care about the fact what this person his future plans are. I have a very outspoken opion when it comes down to education. Me being a special ed teacher does enable me to get into a different level of thinking about many educational matters. Not always the most fun level. In our school we are confrontated daily with how society works, what is expected of a person. In all my years of teaching I have seen some changes that do sometimes scare me a bit.

Yes, education is one of the cornerstones of society. That schools are needed to teach youngsters some very important fact about the real life out there is now so obvious. Many of the things I do teach my pupils I did myself not pick up from a teacher. No in that 'ancient' time it were rather other people who seem to have been 'playing' teacher.

Still more and more it seems to me that society expects of that educators to 'solve' or 'fix' many issues before they cause turmoil. In many cases it seems to be teacher who can and will be blamed for not having dealt enough with a certain subject or skill. That now many seem to have the impression that the the pupils we grant a diploma are of a 'less' quality is in my honest and humble opinion a bit of too harsh conclusion.

Now, please do not think that only numbers matter in a school. Although I have the urge to say that in our present world a number seems to be so much more important then quality. In society you seem to be constantly fighting against the power of the number. But in the educational world that seems not to hold up.


The world we live in today is so much different then the one I went to school in. In the last 15 years the educational world has made a quantum leap. Education is one of the children's rights. Every human being that steps into this world has been given the right! It is not something for the happy few anymore. The time that only the upper class could write and read is for sure the defenitive past. Still in education there will always be smarter and less smarter kids.

It is utopia to think that you can create a society in which all kids will develop in the same direction and at the same level. What is very hopeful is to see that in the last five years main stream schools seem to be able to make many children stay in a 'normal' school. One look at my teaching audience and I can tell you that my special ed kids are also from a different league then a decade ago.

Last weekend I sat at a table with all grade school teachers. They were buzzing with energy and it was so much fun to just feel the energy. I did make me feel hopeful that many of these people seem to have the heart at the right place in order to be educators. They did not complain one single moment about something that was ahead of them. These were all young people who are fully aware of the complex mission they are on.

When I told them that I was a special ed teacher one of them made the remark that this must be kind of hard and challenging. 'Yes, it is!', I said and at the same time my shoulders went up like I wanted to tell at the same time:'So what?' But then I added:'Yeah what we get in seems to be different then in the past but this means that the kids you teach are a more complex group. It seems to me that the plan to keep all children as long as possible in a 'normal setting' to learn and live' does seem to work.'

Perhaps not that many people take an honest look at what the 'real problems to tackle in the educational environment nowdays. Still most school globaly lack funding! They have to be very creative in order to make end meet. The money box seems most of the time empty and so schools adminastrators and principals are never fully content when it comes down to finances.

Most principals feel sometimes helpless when they take one look at the building they have to welcome into pupils. Well, when I was student teaching in the school where I still happen to teach (I can not seem to leave that place! ;-))) the principal always told parents when they signed up their kid in our school:'When you chose for this school you do not chose for the setting you chose for the staff I have hired!'

Yes, we moved now to a nicer setting. The building is grant and many visitors are kind of envious of the place. But I can tell you if inside that building not motivated and inspiring people teach, think, count, clean, learn, curse, joke around, yell, fool around, plann, coordinate, and foremost care about others their wellbeing then even the nicest school would not function. And yes, yesterday one Junior did once more point out that it matters to her a great deal what teacher she will 'stuck with' I did smile because she is damn right.

Education matters but you do it together and not just inside a schoolbuilding. Once a kid walks out the gate it does hope that it find the opportunities that have been promised to them and that they can practice what they have been taught. Because only practice can and will make perfect.



P.S.: How many of you were thinking that the kids in this clip were up to something bad? Even I did when I saw this for the very first time. Prejudice it is still out there in the world. Be honest here! ;-))

I Promise Myself

My summer break is coming to an end and I welcoming soon new and already 'old' pupils in my classroom. It is the first time in a very long time that I did not make a list of things that I want to keep up in the following 10 months. Why? Well, because I think the one I made up last year was actualy a damn good one. And after rereading that entry and evaluating the year that did pass I came to conclusion that these are basically still the same things that I need to pay attention to.

Yes, I managed to keep up the list. Not in a perfect way. My class room is still one of the most messy places to hang out as a teacher who likes everything spic and span. But there are people who did notice some changes about me. Or just that I seem to be able to be a bit more relaxed when it comes down to a few things. I seem to have found a way of dealing with some work related things.

So here you can find a link to one of my previous entries. To me that list does stand for a lot. It is my personal manual to survive ten months of educational fun! I also hope that you once more will be able to feel the effects of this list. If not then please be so kind and remind me of this entry. It could make the difference!

As life goes by: School & Life Essentials: Like mentioned before I have this thing going for lists! Not that I am obsessed with them and most of the time they end up being rather ...

Celebrating Love And Happiness

It is almost back like I want to sense it: the urge to write and create lines on paper. I haven been thinking a lot lately about many things. This is not good for Stallie due to many reasons. I can get so wrapped up in my thaughts that I then forget about other more urgent and important matters. But once I am on that roalercoaster it is very hard to get off.

But due to some very emotional events I did manage to focus again. The many smiles and tears that were involved in these intens moments I do carry now in my heart. I also have come to realise more then ever that life is very fragile and that every special moment you get to celebrate you have to enjoy at the fullest.

Last weekend I ended up with my family in a nice venue to celebrate my uncle's 90th birthday. An uncle I truely love! His life story does make me become very aware of the fact that we as humans are on a mission and need to use our talents wisely. But also need to make time to enjoy life. It was nice to just sit there surrounded by my own family who seems to be doing quite well. A was having the time of his life by checking out every corner of the place with two brothers in crime and P just was himself by trying not to talk work with one of my cousins. While I was sipping of a glass of sparkles I just felt happy. While holding on to my god child E, wearing a blue and white polka dot dress (yes, I dare to wear dresses again!), I just tried to suck up the energy that this special moment was echoing.

That day I ended up at a wedding as well. I had to go by myself because P was on a call. But I realy wanted to celebrate this special moment with these special friends who also have taught me something important things about life. Going by yourself to a wedding is not always that fun because you might not know that many people. At the same time it is the opportunity to observe all the friends and family that the happy copple considers special to celebrate life with.

Stallie ended up that night quite some moments on the dancefloor. I was so amazed to see that many people out there and not just for a few minutes. It was quite a pleasant view to see so many happy people move on music. Including myself! Yes, I had a great time out there. By the time I drove home I felt very zen and in balance. Okay, I still have got some worries going on in my mind but I did feel happy at that exact moment.

In a way I wrapped up my summer by celebrating life at the fullest depth with people that I love and care about. The last two months were perhaps not the most sunny ever and yes, I had my less moments as well. Mindfullness was sometimes hard to find when you were around me at a less cheerful moment. My mind was not on a break this summer on many fronts. But while I kissed my uncle and the happy couple I did feel so much alive and blessed.

My summer was not the most sunny of all and this of course also infected my mind. Lots of tropical storms got under my skin. Restless I was and had the constant feeling I was sitting at a busstop waiting for a ride that was never going to come. Stallie seemed to have been experiencing 'Waiting for Godot'-feeling. What I am waiting for? I can not put my finger on but perhaps many of us do have this sensation going on in their lives at a certain moment. This summer it was my turn.

Every morning when I got out of bed and took a look at the grey sky I was so much tempted to get back into bed and wait till the sun would come out. But then I would have missed out so much. The happiness and the sadness were for sure real and even without the sun they have managed to make me feel more alive then ever. I just did not have to write about it as much because I just lived the moment and went with the flow.

Okay, the human race is not industructible, it has got it's darker side as well and it can cause pain and destruction but I have seen in many places the power of love and happiness and that then still creates hope. Hope that I need to get through the more painful moments that are ahead of me. When I drove home that night and got lost in Brussels I was not in a panic like I usually do. Suddenly I felt so alive that I was ready to scream it out. This song happened to be on while driving under Koekelberg (the biggest chathedral of Brussel with a tunnel complex under it that makes you shiver when you do not know your way around in the captial)and made the ride hime more agreeable.

I realize that celebrating special moments do matter and that when you get invited that you do need to make time and seize the opportunity. It are these special moments that can give you some extra energy, can suddenly make you see things clear again! And because you only are granted one shot at this life-adventure are highlights so important to celebrate or to be grateful for all the people who not only share the bad times with you but also the good times. So ladies and gentleman do please take the time to celebrate life because then you are prepared for when the going gets tough to keep on going.