I have a few routines that I love on a Saturday and one of them is drinking a cup of George Clooney coffee and diving into the weekend press. I love it to just for once not having to closely watch the time and first check if my lesson plan is printed out and all my materials are ready for the next fun learning challenge I have got in store for my lovely students. Saturday is the day that I can put on denim and that the 100% cotton Petit Bateau underwear and a warm croissant of the local bakery are all pure weekend bliss. It is then that I am in weekend mode and can take deep breaths and empty my brain and catch up with the outside current affairs. Stallie then eargerly digest most of newspaper articels and loves to find out what others think about what is going on in the world.
So when I today was about to embark on that routine I did hear over the news that one of our former university rectors thinks that the teachers of our national are in general not highly intelligent and not equipped to future challenges. In that same interview he is quoted that he urgently calls for a educational reform. On top of that he points out that the profession lacks a certain appeal/respect and he also says this in that same interview:In mijn jeugd was de schoolmeester een respectabel beroep van een zeer
hoog intellectueel niveau. In sommige landen is dat nog altijd zo. In
Finland hebben ze een toelatingsexamen aan de universiteit om leraar te
mogen worden, en bovendien zijn alle leerkrachten er universitairen.'
Uhm, now first of all nothing in that interview is new. Nothing the very intelligent professor at rest André Oosterlinck says in that piece has not been said before. I can even tell you that I more then once have been called 'just a teacher' and I even have parents who question their children's career choice if they choose for teacher. My own father did. I will never forget the day that I left for college to kick of my teacher training. It did seem like I was already a dissapointment. Fortunately he did change his mind about that but I am quite sure that the teaching profession lacks some sex appeal.
I do agree that new teachers need more training and that their present studies do not cover enough what matters in order to survive the educational jungle. Theory and practice are still not in balance when teachers in Belgium are trained. Plus becoming a teacher takes time, effort and also patience. It is not because you have got the degree that it will guarantee you a carefree teaching career. In the 21st century so many things change and this with the blink of an eye. At the time I decided to hang out one more year extra on the campus of my teaching college in order to specialize in special needs and it was only in that year I found out if I was fit enough to enter a classroom and suddenly realised that it takes so much more. Yes, I did then over and over point out that a four year teaching training is perhaps a better way to train a teacher. In that one extra year I was granted the space and time to feel at ease and secure in a classroom. It was in that extra year that I turned into a 'up for battle' teacher.
But do I find respect? Do I consider myself intelligent enough? Do people look down on me? Do some people make comments about my profession? Do I sometimes feel like I have to defend myself when people talk about lazzy and dumb teachers? Do I have to point out that those vacations are a nice extra and did influence my choice at the time? Do I wonder if being a teacher in the past was so much eassier? Do I experience days that I feel like I am rather on a island instead part of a close knit team? Do I sometimes not feel always that fully equiped and prepared to face the next change that I am about to deal with in my class room? Do I wonder what it must feel like to be a teacher in the Japan, the USA, Finland, Congo or in the Netherlands? Do I agree with most of what the minister of education says in the press about his educaitonal future plans? Do I long back for the days that André Oosterlinck describes in his interview?
Well,most of the above questions I can answer with:'Yes,I do.' But I am also willingly to say that I don't think it is fair to talk in such a manner about my profession. Believe me there are many teachers out there who try to make the difference There a so many people out there in who in their classroom try to give each pupils and student excellent education. Plenty of teachers are willingly to embrace change and try out new things. I have seen so many things around me that tell me that there are enough teachers who are ready to give day in day out there very best. And I am not just talking about the people who I work at my educational hot spot. No, I have seen so many excellent examples of good practice.
It does make my blood boil if I read such news articles because I take my profession very serious. When I was at university I wanted in the first place use my knowledge inside of a classroom but I was one of the few in that lecture hall. Most of my fellow students had totaly different plans with their university studies. I am not sure what it takes to make teaching a more appealing profession. Let us be honest it are not just teachers who are not that much regarded with respect. Yes, it is true that more and more teachers seem to think that teaching is not that their core business and that the red tape linked to it makes them rather feeling like a desk manager. So it will not be that easy at all to just reform the teaching training .
The suggestions made By some specialist is first of all to get only the people who in the first place choose for education and also make them all trained specialist who spend at least 4 years in a learning and study environment. I am do agree that it was only in my fourth year of studies what I sometimes call my 'test phase-'year that I felt more confident to enter a classroom. So yes, it would make sense to train future teachers longer but please do not do this in a confined & artificial spot. And yes, I have met some very courageous people who suddenly changed their mind in the 'private' professional world to become teachers. Brave people who did not go over just one night of thin ice. The knowledge they drag into a room full of future world citizens full with future dreams is essential as well. But they also need time to adopt and they then find out that teaching takes so much more then putting together a animated power point presentation.
Nope, I don't have the answers when it comes down to reforming the educational professional world. I just know that it takes a lot more then just to make the training phase a bit longer. It will take so much more and it will take more then just group together the students with the highest IQ who are willingly to transfer their knowledge into the brains of children. Let us be honest we all have been students, we all have come across great teachers and less great educational talents... Future teachers will have to face students,management, parents,society, a world that just has got very high expectations of them... but that is in every single profession/job the case.
But it would be nice if a 16 year old will be a more encouraged to take teaching as a serious career option.... and that is when many of us can play a very important part. A career path is a road that many young people embark on with very high expectations and it is the more experienced people (and that is Let us first of all stop using less respectful language about any profession and it would be nice that journalists also think twice to put a more profound heading above a newsarticle. And any newsitem deserves a well thaught of headline.
PS: In case you wonder if you are 'smart' enough to be a teacher and you speak Dutch then try to answer the following 92 questions that in 2012 about 1000 student teachers were asked to answers. I know my score and no I am not going to share that one out here. But it was enough to make me smile... A smile comparable to the one I see on a student when I hand them back a high grade. http://www.knack.be/nieuws/bent-u-slimmer-dan-een-leerkracht-doe-de-test/article-normal-104419.html
It
is April and April fools day has just chased by and I got out of
unharmed besides a few stickers that were attached by a some very eager
students who wanted to show me that they did dare to challenge me. Yes,
they got a few laughs out of me...
I have not been
around in this space for quite some time. Was this intend or rather
coincendence? Well, honestly I can not tell... The car accident did
trigger something strong in my mind and on top of that did my 40th
birthday also seem to be the beginning of a very excicted but at times
also hectic 41st year. The world has been treating my kind for the last
few months and even tough that I do seem to be cursed car wise because
last week my new car (and it is one of my dream cars that I drive now)
got kissed by a Merc. It was not a happy encounter but fortunately I was
on my way to the that one person who seems to calm me down by the power
of his hands.
Still, today I did reflect about
something that I hardly have not mentioned again and that is if I miss
my old job and if I am content with what I have got instead what I am
longing for. Yes, the wish list or the bucket list is still around in my
mind.... But some things did change in my life for the better. That I
two years ago did send in my CV in the hope to find a new educational
challenge was for me a very crucial moment in my life... It was almost
like now or never...
The now is still the now and I
have to be honest that I do have days that I do long back to that one
special spot where I took my educational baby steps and where I did
learn so much from others. Yes, there are days that I am quite curious
to know how everybody is holding up the fortress while I am running
across the campus of my new educational hot spot. Sometimes voices of
my former co-workers echo in my mind while I trying to come up with a
new lesson plan or sometimes I even try to imagine what one of them
would have said or done if they would be in my situation. They are
still in my mind and mentally they even walk along with me when I face
certain challenges.
The thing is that the last year
and a half my life has changed in a very profound way. What I have found
out about myself has made a bit different to the teacher that I used to
be but perhaps other around me already did know this about me. More
then once people did tell me something about me that did take me by
surprise. A few weeks ago a very good and someone who also knew me when I
was a high school student myself and not passing all the test and exams
I took in my life used that one word that defines me in a very profound
way but also makes me feel so fragile at times. 'C, we are talking here
about passion... what you have for your profession is passion...' and
she looked at me with her typical face and her sincere smile.
Passion, that is now one of these words that I love in many ways because yes, I do try to bring it out
in whatever I do. Not that it always works but at least I try.... Not
that the world I face on a daily basis always agrees with me. Yes, I am
fully aware that there are certain forces at work out there that are
rather hard to battle and that I am only a tiny spot on this globe. But
hey, I have made a few pledges to myself and to some people that care
about and even love no matter what. Plus there is something else that
for the moment keeps me up on my toes and very busy. I still believe strongly in the instinct that
life will give me in return what ever I invested in it.
So
far 2014 has been for me a very emotional rollercoaster one with some
unforgettable ups but also rather painful and harsh downs. Stallie
still is fully aware that her dark side can pop up at any second and
GERD has still it is sour way to communicate what she thinks about my
well being. But my nails, ladies and gentlemen, my nails those seem to
be hanging in there. Yes, I am winning the fight with my urge to bite
into them when I feel like I am about to hit a wall or when I seem to be
running out of juice. One look at that result (and the finishing touch of a beautician who is very strict with me) that I managed and the
patience I already had put into those nails kept me back of doing what I
normaly would do...
But somethings were a bit more
challenging and I am not just talking about turning 40 and facing that
fact that I am mortal and that from now on some things will go down
hill. Not that seems to be the easy part. It is more trying to stay in
balance with myself, my job, my family, my social life (including my
social media or dare to call it virtual life) and some things that I
care about.... One of them is dancing and that is not that easy.
Stallie needed to find back why she in the world ever decided to go back
to that ballet studio where she would be every week challenged by her
ballet teacher but also by her mental state and her motor skills.
Out
there in front of a mirror while my feet tried to make coordinated
movements with my arms, knees I did seem to face my biggest challenge.
Tuesdays are a killer when it comes down to work, photocopying, running,
breathing, teaching, smiling my way through lesssons with less willingly individuals who suddenly disagree with learing a new
language or keep up my respectful posture when one of students thinks he/she can tackle a literature course without keeping up his/her reading. Tuesday is my ultimate rat race and then I try to beat time in
order to make it to Leuven and jump into my black leotard and slip into my
ballet shoes. The moment that I drag myself into that room full of mirrors I feel like a zombie who would rather crash into couch and hide under a duvet. Getting the picture here...
This year my ballet teacher challenged
me and he was after perfection. In a few weeks I need to pull out every
single move I have in my body and move synchronized on a stage. He is
after fairies and he does hope that we can show grace, elegance, style
and be smooth.... This talented ballet dancer/chorographer has got a
great vision that he tries to come alive on stage. Well, Stallie did
screw up big time the last few months. Right and left constantly got
messed up in my mind. Stretching my toes and my turn outs were nowhere to be noticed. Even classmates suddenly noticed that I not
always easily react to change. Well, ladies and gentlemen, one look at
Stallie out there and you would see that she is going in overdrive...
Yes,
I almost wanted to give into that one force that I has pushed me out of
the ballet world. The one force that then will then take possesion of me. The
thing is that this lady wants to dance and not just dance one hour a week. I now even
will start to make dance movements while I am out on the street. Yes,
life should come with background music! So it is not that I don't want
to dance anymore but it did seem that my body and my mind were after a
dance-break.
Well, my ballet teacher did not grand me
that break. His face said it all when I told him that I just had other things on my mind instead of dancing... Instead he tried to point out something to me that I was
trying to ignore. Something that I deep down know he is so right about.
Something that dancers are fully aware. Something that makes you long
for the next dance step even if it hurts. Pain and dancing not always
seem to fit in my mind but perhaps I always did up till now picked the
eassier way out of the ballet studio when change was around the bend. I
had done it before and I knew exactly what it would cause me. Honestly I have not intentions to go back to that place because dancing there has got no air time....
His
words and body language I did copy clearly. And when I that night walked
out of the ballet school there were certain words that still echoeing
in my mind. Pain on stage I have never ever experienced it. I am not
talking about the physical pain here because I even encounter that when I
am just tackling a routine lesson. The dance instructor was aiming at a
different kind of pain one that I hardly ever given a spot in my
dancing world. Why? Because I just couldn't imagine them both
cooperating and coexisting. So the week after I stood there and my mind
was in overdrive and my body did seem to have a harder time finding
it's balance and I just ruined most of my piques. Half of time I did
seem to run of breath or was a count too slow. But I have not given in and thank the lord this last week it did all look it a bit more decent. Did I again feel more at ease and did I feel more like a dancer...
Next
week I need to be ready mentally to get on stage and not feeling that
100% at ease but being able to push out for about 3 minutes all my
balast and just dance. It might hurt and it might not feel that natural
but I already have experienced in the last few weeks that what my ballet
teacher is after does make sense. It is not even rocket science but I
guess that it took a 5 minute speech of a dancer who has gone through a
lot more then I ever did but hey, I have got a job, a family, my mental
health, a laundry basket that resembles the Himalaya, a never ending to
do-list and I have to be honest dancing was not a priority on there the last few
months.
So I had to get back in there and tyring to
refocus on what matters inside the walls of a ballet studio. And believe
most of the tings that I have mentioned here above don't. There is no
space for those. But there is so much that is allowed in. That it took
me a strict ballet teacher to point it out to me. Because I had for few
minutes forgotten all about that one particular saying that does matter
in the world of dancing and even in general:'Life is not about waiting
for the storm to pass... It's learning to dance in the rain.'
A big thank you to my ballet teacher B who managed to keep me in check!!!! Sorry that I lost that dancing feeling/loving feeling for a minute or two...
January it is and so this means a new beginnings. Not just the start of a new year and 365 days that are still blanco. Time will tell what they have got in store for us. In a way I do like the unknown. People try to make predictions and we even have got specialists that try to foretell the future. Sometimes they are right sometimes they are wrong. We will see in 12 months time if 2014 is the year that you and I are after.
Me, myself and I already have been quite busy with making the most of 2014. We are just going to skip the job part because that this is a very hectic and busy time that I call rather normal. I would even dare to say that I do like it in a way to be in such state. Work is for me sometimes my safety blanket. It is the one spot where life still seems to make sense. Where I find that one thing that I am so desperate after and where smiles are hiding out. On that part I still love where I am hanging out between office hours and beyond. Sometimes I might lose it but at the end of the week I still seem to be in one piece.
What was so much harder to deal with had to do with my car. My beloved car... my first car that P got me in order to get A and myself from A to B and beyond. To go out with on adventures and get lost in. I will never forget how reluctant I was to get my driving permit. Some of you know what Stallie did think about driving. For years I did try to stay away from driving because I could get anywhere on foot, by public transportation or find an other victim to drive me to my final distanations. It was P who talked me into a car and okay it was rather hard work. Time (we ended up spending quite some hours on empty supermarket parking lots), patience (yes, we did yell at each other because in my messed up brain I just did not manage to think like a car) and money (thanks to P I did not ended up spending all of my pay check on driving lessons) went in to that mission impossible.
Yes, I did find out that driving can be so much more fun than having to wait in the cold for a train that has decided not arrive or that it is so much eassier to drive to your mother instead of having to rely on time tables of public transport. Before I knew I loved that car of mine above my public transport. And I was very proud of myself never to have gotten into any accidents. So for 10 years my Opel/Vauxhall Corsa and I had been close friends. Every time when I went for my annual car check up I did hold my breath. But that tiny car just seemed to keep on going forever.
Till last week.... last week I found out that timing is everything. Last week someone else decided that it was the chosen moment to end of the partnership. Last Sunday I had my first car accident. No, it wasn't a spectacular crash and I am still in one piece. My back hurts (and it might have some less fun consequences but that it totally different story) but besides shaky nerves I was fine. Still the impact that it had on my daily life was beyond any expectation.
Okay, in a way these were luxury problems and let us be honest that it would not have killed me to jump back on a buss (I did and I can tell you that on a Monday morning around 7.30 I was the oldest person on it) and relying on time tables. I even imagined having some more time to read and contemplate about life instead of having to stress about traffic lights, road works and trafic jams. I did try to think positive about it. I just not imagined that once when you rely so much on a car that when you suddenly do not have one your life gets 'messed up' or should we say 'more complicated'.
Now what you need to know is that the day before this happened P, A&I had been out for a test drive. Because in the back of our minds we knew that the days of the Corsa were numbered. The car was getting older. I can tell you that we had fun trying out a new car. Suddenly I was picturing me in something new, more glamorous, shinier, faster and stylisher. Oh yes, I do have a list of favorite cars that I would love the drive. But two of them sadly have the reputation to be designed for the Mediterian weather. So in a way I was ready to say farewell to my faithful car and start fresh with a new one. I just had a different scenario in mind than the one we went through last week.
.
Once more I found out that Stallie is not good at dealing with unexpected events. Big fail!!! I did even fail on the alcohol test the police did perform after the accident. I just did not manage to get the right amount of air into that machine. It did seem that I already ran out of breath at that moment. Like I knew that I was going to have to run a marathon but was never making it to the finish line. P was once more the very practical thinker when he did ask me first of all:'How are you getting to work now.'instead of asking me:'Are you okay?' He did explain to me that I did look so calm in that police car that he had already figured out that I was okay. WRONG THINKING PATTERN!!! My mind was racing and I was crashing over and over again in my mind. By Sunday night my body and head were aching all over. I had not managed to get done anything. I was so dissorientated.
By Monday morning I was lethal to be around with. I hated calling my mother because she would ask me if I had paid attention to detail. 'No, mum I have not mentioned that I had a pianful back because after all that is something chronic...'& 'No mum, I have not seen a GP yet because I do not easily ask for leave of absence if you can take care of this outside office hours.' My sister then was not happy to find out days after that I had lost my car. 'Hey, you could have called.' Me thinking:'Why? To tell you I am still alive but I lost my car.'
Yes, I called friends but I sometimes felt to stupid that I did seem to be rather unhappy about the whole situation. It is like you start to hate yourself. That you wish you could switch yourself of for a few minutes and just stay positive about the whole situation. I just failed. It did not help to read news headlines about the war in Syria or a story about a person with a terminal illness. That way of thinking did not seem to help me out to start to look back that bright side. I then tried even drinking a Cuba Libre on a week day. Believe me I am one of these people who stays away of alchohol on weekdays. Did not have the effect I was after. Constantly I was pushing out the bad vibrations but they always found their way back in.
You see, it was for me constantly a dillemma who to call and tell them that I felt so down about the situation. That I might now even have to consider not dancing for a while does make it even more painful. People who do know me quite well, do know how essential ballet dancing is for Stallie. It is part of trying to stay in a healthy and happy mental state.
I wish that I had been a bit more positive in such a situation but I just did not know what to behave like. It was the first time that someone crashed in to my car sideways. That I ended making eyecontact with the person who was about to mess up my car. Oh believe me I tried to find a way out but there was no way. I had no other choice to just let it happen. I did let it go and I just pushed my break down and then I did hear sounds that were so painful to my ears. Metal that was crashing into eachother.
Oh yes, I did have even the 'Sliding Doors' scenario running through my mind while I sat there in the police car filling out insurance paperwork. These were the thaughts that ran through my mind just after the crash:'If I had left the house one second sooner or later this would not have happened. But I did and this is the sh** I have to deal with now. But hey, I am still breathing and I can get out of the harmed car on my own without having to call in some extra troops. So I am fine, am I not?' Believe me, that minute after the accident that was exactly what I did think. But before I knew the blue sky vanished and did some thunder storms appear.
Okay, I had been hit by car a few year ago but that was completely different to what had happened now. I do remember calling people as well at that crucial moment and did remember how much it changed my life. It was the day that I ended up in soup bar in rainy Paris and did take a very close look at what I had, what I was longing for and what posibilities&opportunites there were still out there. I am likely to state that it was a turning point in my mental state.
What I was unprepared for was that it would happen again. I once more was forced to sit down, take deep breaths, trying to calm down and find back my focul point and try to stay positive. Having faith that everything would work out in the end. I needed other people to tell me that this was going to be the case. Because I had ran out of juice. So sorry if you turned out to be one of these people who had to put up with me this week. You do deserve better and I am fully aware of the fact that some of you have so much more to deal with then a totat loss declared car.
The thing is that I might have forgotten to keep up something that might have made things a bit eassier on all of you and me. What that is, is something that I have kind of neglected for a while because I just seem to be doing fine without it. Oh boy, was I wrong. When will I learn that it is part of me and that it is part of keeping myself in check and under control? Seems to take a car crash!
I now can announce that a new car has been picked out (and it one of my wish list!) and that things have calmed down. Stallie also waved her faithful Corsa goodbye (including her ace Jane Austen bumper sticker but these you can order again!) and made appointments in order to get back on track. Now I can't wait to get my hands on the new car key. Stallie is ready for new car adventures. So as it seem new beginnings are not always cool runnings (I have just read somewhere that the Bob sleigh team of Jamiaca has qualified for the Olympics! :-) ) but I already found out how unpredictable and yes exciting (that is once the dust has settled) ) 2014 is.
PS: The thing that I did kind of neglect the last few months did someone else very nicely explain and it also explains why you end up neglecting it. But it is so easy once you get the hang of it and when you do focus on what you get in return even when it will hurt once in a while. No pain, no gain is even a fact in the mental world if you want to stay fit, healthy and focused.
Today South Africa pays it final respects to its most inspiring world leader. Last week the world alraedy had the opportunity to wave Nelson Mandela farewell. Not that I had time to watch the ceremony because after all life goes on. I had to settle for the news reports and some pictures to catch a glimpse of the whole affaire. Appearantly did almost every single person of importance wanted to be present. Yes, I did end up smiling at the selfie-story of Obama and the sign language intrepetor who seemed to have a bad day at the office at that exact moment.
Some newspaper articles described the whole affaire as being rather festive like and not sad at all. Awkward mourning moments I dare to call it. But then we all mourn in different ways and having to pay last respects to a person like Nelson Mandela is not an everyday situation.
Am I in mourning? Is my life different since Mandela his last breath? Hmm... not really? But there was one question that did cross my mind this week while I got to watch a programme about the life of this inspirational person: in what way have I already tried to cary out his message? Well, believe it or not I do remember quite well the time that Nelson was spending time on Robbeneiland and that Margaret Thatcher tried to justify the South African policies in some of her interviews.
And you know why? Well, because of an piece of fruit.... a round piece of fruit... a very nice looking apple.... a shiny green apple... I even dare to call it the most perfect looking apple. I will never forget the times my mum would take me along grocery shopping and that I came across this unique edible sales item. It stood out amongst all the other pieces of fruit. It was like this piece fruit had magnetic powers and that I suddenly forgot all about the bananas, the kiwis, figs and pineapples. There it was... that one round object that I wanted to plant my teeth in. My mouth filled up with water when my eye sight picked it up. There was only one right word to describe this apple:IRRESISTIBLE!
I forget not only other members of the world of fruits but even my urge for crisps or candy suddenly had went up in smoke. I stood there in the middle of the fuit and vegetable department of the grocery store and all I wanted was to get my hands on that one shiny object. But unfortunately that was a mission impossible because I was forbidden to have that one piece of fruit. Why?
Fruit connaisseurs might already have figured it out. I was in extasy because of a Granny Smith apple. My hands were itching and I had to keep reminding myself constantly that this apple was out of reach. 'So you want apples?', my mum would then ask me and her voice would make me land back on earth. 'Yes!', and I pointed it at that particular apple. Her face then told me that once more I would have to settle for the less shiny and perfect shaped kind. 'NO!!! Not that one! You know that I am not buying that one.'
Of course I knew but then I wondered how long it would take till my mother would give in. Well, I found out that my mother was a very tough woman to deal with when it came down to apples. I can not even remember that she ever bought me one of those apples.... Now you might wonder how Nelson Mandela, South Africa and a Granny Smith apple are linked? Well, the issue my mother had with that apple was the blue/white sticker that was attached to it. On that sticker there were four letters 'CAPE'.
Yes, I knew why we were not suppose to be bying that one apple. It was from South Africa and there was somthing 'wrong' about that country. Not that I fully understood what was going on down there. After all I guess that I was too young to understand all the facts about 'apartheid'. After all I did seem to have the impression that my father loved that nation. He even had some books in his office that dealt with 'Afrikaans'. This all made a bit more confusing. So in a way that apple stood for everything that was going wrong in that one nation and my mother was going to make sure that her loved one were going to resist the calling of the Cape Granny Smith as long as nothing was going to change down there.
That I had to wait a very long time to fully enjoy one of these apples everybody could have predicted. After all Nelson Mandela was charged with a life sentence. The world famous inmate with the number 46664 wasn't going to come out by the next harvest of Granny Smiths. Why? Well,my parents tried to explain to my sibblings and me what was going on down there in Africa. But let us be honest that is very hard to get your head around. But the apple boycot in our house did stand the test of time....
When Mandela regained his freedom I did plant my teeth into one of these Granny Smith.
The thing was that I less and less longed for it and that even today I am not that much tempted to buy them. Cape fruit had been the enemy for such a long time and now that my mum wanted to buy them again I did not nag for them anymore!
Mission accomplished? Did resisting Cape Granny Smith apples help to liberate Mandela or at least help to point out to South Africa that something had to change? Well, my mum seemed to think so. My dad even started to buy South African 'vonkelwijn' instead of the French equivalent.
So South Africa did enter my life by means of an apple.... What happened after the apple boycott I found out in history lessons and on the news and even by first hand letters from a friend who was studying in South Africa in 1993-1994. I can tell you that these postcards and letters are for me the proof that the transition time in South Africa was a very exciting time but also a time filled up anxiety.
Now, don't worry I am not going to start of now by repeating what already so many have said over and over again about Mandela. There is no need for it because his heritage is beyond any words. It will take a bit more then boycotting an apple to keep it alive and kicking. Because let us face it that it won't be easy to follow in the footsteps of such an inspiring human being.
So when I last Friday got the opportunity to sign a commeration book I did take the time to sit down and think about something fitting to write down. But what if the person who you write this message for already created such inspiring words that can stand the test of time? Well, then I decided to write one quote that I take to heart and strongly believe in.
Mandela is no more amongst the living but he for sure has left enough food for thought to keep me busy for the rest of my life. After all the temptation of the green and shiny apple is so much eassier to resist then the inspiring words of Madiba. Me being a teacher qualified me for a fight of life time according to him. Still, it is the future that will tell if we can keep alive what he stood for. It will be very hard to ’Xhosa Lizali’sidinga lakho'. But then Nelson Mandela once said by his retirement from public life with his hallmark smile:'Don't call me! I will call you!'
The quote I choose to write in the commeration book:
'Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.' Nelson Mandela (1918-2013)
PS: I wish to thank my mother with this entry because it was thanks to her that I for the very first time in my life realised that small actions can make a difference.
"Looking to the future when this account may be read I can see there will be many advances and scientific discoveries that are uninmaginable at the present moment. However, the universe is so incredibly immense and human destiny so fleeting I can still see that you will be confronted by the same challenges as we are today. The desire for the good, the quest for human happiness will not be significantly different and putting one's mind to one's life will still serve a useful purpose. Common sense and self knowledge will still have currency and as you seek happiness the words of Shakespeare are worth bearing in mind:"There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so." "The G motto is "prêt pour mon pays," and some of you may wonder what your country is. You should have less doubt about your family and not be caught in a linguistic quandary if your roots are mixed and your existence has been peripatetic. Your human destiny will have made some demands that it has made on your forefathers even if the circumstances are vastly different. Do not be of faint heart and whenever possible, do not brood on the past or dream idly of the future but keep your eye on the present - "Carpe Diem."
These wise word I read today on the message board in the teachers lounge. They were printed on a 'In Memoriam' card of a person that is very much missed by many at my workspot. These words were also created by this person and I have to say that they got under my skin. I have to be honest with you I never had the opportunity to meet this person. I have not a single clue what he/she was like before I read these words. It is like reading this suddenly has given me an insight into the brain of a person that has made an imense imprint on the heart of many people I work with. It was while I was standing there that I suddenly wished I had known this person. His/her legacy seems to be still at work in my school.
I can't realy offer much comfort to the people who now miss this very special person who seems to have loved passionately languages and life. But what I can do is trying to keep his/her wise words close to my heart. Because sooner of later I will come across this person while working with the people who worked with him/her. People I can already call colleagues and are very driven at what they do and what they believe in. Some of these people always considered him/her their mentor. For the people out there who have ever had a mentor or a person they looked up at I am sure you do get me...
That I have not never met this exceptional and inspirational person I do regret but I am very sure that what he/she left behind at my work spot is still alive and kicking. He/she will be missed and I have seen very sincere emotions in the face of many people that I do feel also responsible to give my very best as a language teacher and trying to be a happy person and never hide from any challenge that I will encounter while working there or anywhere else.
Besides, words do matter, they can echo beyond a life time!!!
PS.: I have choses a rather sad but also romantic song to go along with this entry. The images are quite lounge like I do think. Laura Pausini her voice is after 20 years still able to touch my heart. I do prefer her in Italian but still....
'Everybody says that about me.'
It might be a sentence that does not to seem to have enough content to write an essay about. Something that I am for the moment trying to teach some of my students. Students who are trying to figure out in what direction they want to their life heading for & this the coming 4 or even more years. Very inspiring bunch. And let this one short sentence now be one of these sentences that sometimes teenagers need to deal with when they try to make up their minds about their future.
In this case I was facing a student during a class of mine and he/she seemed rather lost. Not that he/she wasn't trying to come to terms with the situation. Many signals that I had picked up the last few weeks told me that many of them were busy with browsing through glossy university brochures, coming up with great sentences for their applications, visiting campuses to find out if the sight lived up to their expectation, planning and then hoping that what they wish for also becomes reality. Oxbridge, Ivy League or just the university around the corner. It is at that age you have so many options to choose from. Plus keeping your grades up and handing assignments and tasks in time. Busy times and for many it is an exciting but also a stressful time.
And to make things even more interesting does this student constantly hear that he/she would be a good teacher..... It was a very confronting moment because just a few hours before this took place a co-worker had said as well that one sentence that everybody seem to be telling about him/her. My reply was a bit cliché:'Well, what is your opinion about that everybody seems to have this opinion about you?' The student stayed silent and his/her look told me that he/she was not going to give us an answer. This was one of those moments that being Edward Cullen would have come in handy.
The thing is that I have seen this student in action with primary students and yes he/she is for sure a fitting canditate for teaching. Yes, I was tempted to say the same about him/her but I was holding back. Why? Well, that is a bit complicated. I was still digesting the newsreports covering the teacher's training in my nation. And nope, it was not all milk and honey what I came across. The numbers were very striking. Overall, most of the students that pursue are students that have a not all a very academic background. What I do not consider even that big of an issue. What was more alarming is that a certain big number of people who do teach teachers to be have never been teachers!
Not that there have not made any attempts but I have to say that what I did end up reading on the front page of my newspapers were very confronting. Yes, I take news reports sometimes rather personal. But hey, I am teacher and once I was a student teacher and once I was a student who had to make up her mind what she wanted to be once she had her secondary diploma in her hands.
So how I did get from 'I don't know what to be' to 'I have figured it out'? Well, I knew already quite that I wanted to do something with children. My first idea was nursing or nanny. The idea of taking care of others their children seemed very appealing to me. But I had no real plan or preference. Others around me were dreaming of becoming an engineer, doctor, vet, physiotherapist, nurse, actor, journalist,.... In a way I did envy these people because they did seem to know what they were after. I was lost and nope to be honest many of the teachers (and I had some amazing secondary teachers who are still an inspiration) seem not to be very straight forward with me when it came down to study advice.
Oh, I did some of these cliché placement tests and the outcome of them was also not that clear. The 'it is only a test' & 'it is only advice'-attitude was for me the best way to deal with them. In the end I was going to be architect of my own future. Picking out my profession was my first adult decision I got make and I wasn't going to do this overnight. So I took my time and when I finally signed up for classes after a rather big detour I was still not sure that it was the right choice. And then I found out what becoming a teacher did really involve... Nobody seem to have told me.... What a surprise?
Nope, becoming a teacher wasn't a walk through the park. Teaching college was hard work and it was sometimes like hitting a wall. There is nothing fun of having to face a lesson plan that is soaked in red ink. The advice that many of my professors gave me did not always sound straight forward. There were days that the best thing was pasta bolognaise with grilled cheese and tabasco or a movie ticket. And I still remember very vividly the days that I got out of classroom sweating and trembling because I did not feel confident or satisfied. The feedback sheets I sometimes wanted to put through the shredder. Or there were those exams that I felt so out of place in the big cruel wold where there did seem to be going on a certain kind of conspiracy.
It wasn't for sure that they have given me that one boarding pass with a serious discount. There were days that I could curse some of professors. Literature classes were like a race against ticking time bomb and during history lessons you had to come up with amazing creative ideas to get your lesson approved. The phonetic course made my head spin, the pedagogical courses did sometimes sound like Chinese&keeping up with the subscription of Time Magazine was also challenging. The religion courses did sometimes make my brain go in overdrive. I have analysing parts of that bible while I was thinking what this even had to do with teaching.
The people who made me do all of these things not all have been secondary teachers. I am very sure that most of them have not spend a very long time in a class filled up with teenagers that are filled up with hormones or that they are fully aware that a lesson plan is not always the guarantee that your lesson will work. Have I ever questioned my teaching-teachers? Oh yes, I did! Big time!! And there even has been a specific moment that my mother had to talk me into car when I was about to give up all together because things did not go according to plan. My plan! I hit rock and bottom during that period in my life. I had no plan B because I had been so sure when I had signed up for teaching that this was it! At that moment I was back to square one...
But then nobody had told me what it would be really like and what it would take to make it to the finish line. And even when I made it that it would be only the beginning of something even harder. The real life, the real classroom where every single theory would be tested over and over again. I found out very fast that I was going to be a life long learner. I had to learn it the hard and sometimes painful way...
When I did graduate 3 years later I knew for sure that I wanted to be a teacher and I wanted to be a special teacher. I wanted to stand out in what I did and I wanted to make sure that every lesson was special. So I entered the world of special needs. Did hang out one more year at the campus and ended up in a special need classrooms for an unforgettable student teaching period. It is in that crucial period of my life I sensed something that I never had felt while I was in classes. Something very strong, something that made me believe that I made the right choice.
On top of that I also found out that teaching is something that is complex, endless challenging, can't be wrapped up in one lesson plan, takes more then a red and green marker and then there comes that moment that a student teacher walks into your classroom.... Suddenly I sat there where I never imagined to be sitting. I can tell you that facing fresh teaching meat is sometimes like being warped back into time.
I am still learning and every day I put myself and my profession at risk... So if you are considering to become a teacher then this means you need to have an open mind and be ready to be constantly under attack. Society does have got high expectation of its human beings and where do these mortal souls learn many of their survival techniques? Oh yes, rightly so to demand qualified teachers in order to 'coach' your human capital. But it will take more then just introducing six work groups, creating new language tool kits, updating lesson plans, introducing more IT in the classroom, re-evaluating studies that already have been done a million times, visiting Finland and call it the land of milk and honey....
Pupils come in different shapes and forms, they are all 'special', they all need special attention, they all wish for a 'special' teacher. Let us face it we all wished for that one teacher that managed to ignite something that made learning so much more fun and at the same time made us long for more knowledge. But learning we do all in a different ways. So this demands many kinds of teachers and I am tempted that I do not believe in screening students to find out if they would make perfect teachers beforehand. It takes more then just that. And we might miss out one a few diamonds in the rough.
This morning while drinking a very lovely cup of George Clooney coffee (Dulsao do Brasil-taste!!!) I read this passage in the newspapers: 'I do know that he is fast, and that he can score, but Romelu still has to take some steps. He doesn't understand yet how he has to use his body, how he has to hold on to a ball- it is not normal that I am the one to tell him these things while Romelu already is an international.' Well, coach Marc Wilmots, perhaps someone else has forgotten to tell him or he might have trouble hearing you? Repetition can never hurt Or what about the transfer between theory into the real life practice? Long Life Learner, get it coach?
I bet Wilmots does know! Why? He has been there, played under pressure, sat on the bench, ran after that ball against all odds, kept focused, had his two feet firmly down to the ground to protect himself of disappointment but most of all he believed strongly in learning step by step. He was called slow, not good enough to play in the offensive, he was this and that....But today he still strongly believes in something that we all need when we learn and this that we all need to have people standing behind us who have got faith in us and this against all odds.
Because let us be honest a few years ago we did make fun of out national football team. They were never going to learn, never ever get their act together, never get to play with the big guys, they were David and the rest of the world Golliath. Well, tell that to Malala Yousafzai when she stood up for her right for education? (BTW calling Malala too young to receive a Nobel Prize I did not buy! I wasn't aware that their is an age limit when you try to carry out the message of peace!) Or tell that to the Nobel Prize winners of this world. Some of them had to wait quite a long time to get the recognition they did deserve. Life Long Learners!
Is that particular student who enters frequently my classroom fit for such particular combat situation? Is he/she ready for being a life long learner and at the same time trying to teach what he/she thinks need all his/her special pupils. Is he/she up to enter that incredible challenging world of teaching where the world is constantly changing in front of your eyes? Well, if he/she looked close enough he/she might have already found out..
PS: I did pick out two clips that are in a way contrasts 'Freedom Writers'& 'Dead Poet Society' because these movies do tell me a lot about how youngsters need to deal with making choices in such an early stage in their lives. Plus that if a teacher stands out that he/she meets up with some people that questions constantly his/her approach. When is a teacher 'the perfect' teacher? I guess we all teach and learn in different ways. Please tell me now that nobody is perfect... but that we can be all inspiring if we open up and are willingly to learn. I still haven't stopped! I am still dreaming along with my pupils and don't plan to stop!
Now please, do not get me wrong with the following entry because I had so many reasons not to write this Summer. One of them was that so many things that I came across in the news had an opposition. What meant that if I would tell openly that in case I would open express my understanding to these events, opinions, people or whatever then I would always hurt someone else's his or her feelings. Chances were also likely that I the next day would find on an other I would then find on a certain page of the newspaper that what was stated the day before that there even are more reasons to oppose what yesterday still was justified. Well, ladies and gentelmen, that tires me out. In a way I am fed up with it. Why? Well, because Stallie tries in so many situations to be what 'Twilight' Bella tried to be when she faced Edward and Jakob when they showed openly their teeth: Switzerland.
So writing an entry that is neutral is not easy and especially with the newsitems that I have come across since June. But today I just decided to let go. I don't have a clue what the outcome of this entry will be but please be aware that I never have the intention to hurt you or anyone out there. The thing is that since I have seen the first of the episode of the HBO series 'The Newsroom' that I am fully aware that trying to be impartial is so hard, it constanlty splits the mind up, it soakes all the energy out of you. Diplomacy what a great art! But sorry, there must be days that even the army of the impartials consider an off day. We are all human and share the same faith.
For the last 2 monts I have spend in nobody's land and now I want to leave this 'prison without visible bars' because I ran out of energy. I am ready to scream it of the rooftops what I do think of certain things, events, opinions, etc. So I am going to get out my megaphone and just tell you what I realy goes on in my mind when I meet up with news. Oh wait, that is not my intention but it is quite tempting anyway because there have been a few times while reading the daily news or viewing a newsreport that I just sat there thinking:'Hey, for crying outloud do you want me to say now that I agree with you or do you just wish to find out what I am personaly thinking of all of this?'
Just to give you an idea of what has been going on in my busy mind that is facing a total news melt down.
1. The Snowden Case: Now, do not start me on privacy and freedom of speech (I am afraid that these few words will be mentioned a few times more) and the right to know what our governement is up to. I get this and yes, I do think we are a bit too much checked out lately. There are moments that I do wish to pull some funny faces at one of the many cameras I come across when I am out there on a personal voyage or little adventure. Plus there are moments when I spend on Google wondering if the words I type in will be picked up and that I might end up on a certain list. And when I am on the phone with my lovely and very straightforward mother I just try to imagine what rules we are breaking when we mention certain names of people or events. Do I feel now sorry for the guy or do I consider him a hero who is putting his life on the line. And who who is still stuck in the transit zone of Moscow airport? (Sounds a bit like a certain movie with Tom Hanks, doesn't it?) Well, I don't know the guy personal but his CV will need an update but can he put on there:'White knight on a fierce stallion by breaking the silence for the common good of all.'? I wish him all the luck in the world to find a place where he can feel safe, enjoying in 200% privacy all the worldly pleasures and being able to express his personal opinions without someone looking over his shoulders. Just don't expect me now to change my profile picture on Facebook by his because that is just one step too far. My profile picture is 100% me and no photoshop tricks have been used on it either. You can trust me on that one? Okay? (In case you do not have a clue what I am talking about this is a nice one to read through also the comments people make: http://apps.washingtonpost.com/g/page/politics/a-timeline-of-edward-snowdens-life/235/ )
2. Prince becomes King: Oh also had fun with this one. For the people that have never ever heard of Belgium (many out there think we are a part of Germany or of France and we get mocked constantly because believe me where I live it is almost like living in a minefield. Belgium has got a Royal family and one that does not look or act as some of the other photogenetic and very popular ones that run around in Europe. A few months ago I tried to make sure that I made clear that I am not apposing against any head of state. I just don't like to tell openly what I think of monarchs or presidents or any head of state. The thing is that others will do it for me. It was such a joy to read the many opinions, comments on many social networks. Some of you were even rude and used inappropiate language but at least you were allowed to use your freedom of speech and nobody got killed or physcially harmed by doing this. Believe me in some nations you would end up in a cold & lonely place if the government or national security forces would catch up your phrase. No, I am not going to tell you what I think is better a president or monarch for the nation I am living in. The nicest word that I came across during the whole passing on the throne' is 'surrealism'. After all the location of the Magritte museum in Brussels is just a five minute walk away from the Royal Palace and that I consider the perfect location for many reasons. But it would be nice if now at least someone would dare to tell our 'fresh' queen Mathilde that she just should not wear killer high heels even with the great legs she has got. Sandals, you royal highness, sandals and you will already be so much closer to the commoners. ( Boring link? But then this is something that is constantly said about our Royals and I am quite sure that for most pictures the Royal family has been given permission! http://www.hellomagazine.com/royalty/gallery/2013070313336/prince-phillippe-princess-mathilde-family/0/ )
3. The Royal pregnancy and baby: Okay, Summer is always a time in which many things go on vacation and even the news then seems to take a well deserved break. Still,.... I just was a bit bewildered to see many in action when it came down to the press action about a certain mortal soul by the name of Kate who walked around with a certain content. Twitter and Facebook 'exploded' and yes that some of my friends across the ocean openly expressed that they were excited about this made me produce some facial wrinkles. That even some journalist were running of juice when they had to camp out in front of the private hospital just made me LOL. The thing is that the aftermatch of all of this was even more interesting. 'Why can't most women go home the day after delivering a bay like Kate?' or 'The Royal duchess has still a long way to go in order to lose that baby fat?'. And around exactly that time I came across an article about the opinion from one Turkish guy with a certain religious background (http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2013/07/26/ready-turkish-islamist-prompts-uproar-with-wild-claims-disgraceful-for-pregnant-women-to-show-their-swinging-bellies-in-public/ )who openly stated that pregnant women are 'ugly' and should go into hiding. Well, what can I say? Perhaps just this:let us face it many pregnant women do not have a hairdresser and personaly stylist and trainer living in their closet and when they want to pick up groceries after having gone to the gym in such a state they rather might look like this: http://cache.daylife.com/imageserve/09388yk35n0LQ/300x300.jpg But does this mean that the content of their tummy and their way of dealing with being pregnant is news worthy? No comment. After all am not Kate Middleton and I am not married to the person who is second in line for the throne of a nation that seems to have a much more emotional attachment with their Royal Family then my surrealistic nation. I am just happy that Kate Winslet is so human after all and when she is not wearing any make up she looks a bit more like me! But then I am pretty sure that she did not give anyone permission to snap that picture. Where is Snowden now to make an official statement? (sorry, I am getting carried away....)
4. The Tour de Froome: There was a time that I was glued to the screen and was even counting the seconds that an other cyclists had to make up in order to make up for lost time. Seems light years ago because since a few decades the Tour de France seems more and more to be rather 'one man against the rest of the cyclist-army'. That the young athlete with Kenyan background was questioned to be clean is no surprise. But I do think that Froome was able to ride a more 'free' ride through France then last year. It must have been an amazing feeling for once to just be able to ride that race of a liftime without having to look constantly over your shoulder. I would have given a million to have travelled along with Froome in his mide. I just hope that team mate and colleague Wiggins can be sporty spice enough to congratulate his team mate personaly with this memorable win. I mean, Sir Wiggins, your Royal titlle includes showing great sportmanship at any moment in your carreer. Oh wait, I am not 100% sure that Royal tittles come along with a manual. At least the Sir on a bike now admits that he wasn't able to watch his teammate win: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/othersports/article-2380137/Sir-Bradley-Wiggins-I-watch-Tour-France.html This is a start, isn't? Let us see what it will be next year when they might have to face eachother together for 3 weeks day in day out. After all isn't the proof of the pudding in the eating or in this case in the riding?
5. Nigella Lawson her rather violent lunchtime: I have got some of her cookbooks here at home. I still tend think that it is thanks to her and some of her recipes that I gained some of more confidence in the kitchen. 'How to be a domestic goddess' is the one book that just made me end up with some goosebumps during baking. And I have scored smiles and many happy dinner guests thanks to her domestic talent she openly shared with millions. But suddenly I came across some pictures of Nigella and her husband that had not that much food involved. Nigella got more on her plate then just a nice seafood lunch. The domestic goddess faced domestic violence. Just to give you an idea: http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/nigella-lawson-photos-see-shocking-1955564 So, custumors, staff, management and passbyer have seen what happened. But did someone interfer? Nope! Nobody!!! Not a single soul did dare or wish to get into the middle of this row. Why? Privacy? Well, someone did take pictures of this event without asking permission. The article itself does contain a few interesting ingredients how we react to this kind of events. And especially that one quote by the spokesperson of the restaurant where this all took place in clear day view:'We do not comment on private matters of custumors.' Oh right, so privacy matters even if this does involve putting both hands around someone else's throat while you are serving lobster and calamari fritti. Okay? Get the picture.
6.Jane Austen and JK Rowling: Okay, this is for me such an interesting news bit because it did remind me about something that I came across while doing my research on Jane Austen. Who I do adore. I mean I drive around with a certain sticker on my car that says it all. So yes, I was thrilled to find out that the Bank of England will issue 10 pound Sterling bank notes with her on them. I have to say that the Euro bank notes are quite boring because we have got only windows and bridges on them. So yes, Stallie was rather in a joyful state of mind when she found out that news but there are a few mortal souls out there that consider this not such a good idea. If you don't know what I am talking about then just read this: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2380303/Jane-Austen-banknote-campaigner-Caroline-Criado-Perez-receives-Twitter-rape-death-threats.html?ito=feeds-newsxml.
So, a young feminist lady who lobbied to get some women on the bank notes faced dead threats on Twitter. Okay, having to make room for Jane Austen or any other significant women is having to send of some faces for retirement and Charles Darwin and Churchill (who BTW was not such a fan of the right to vote for women!!!!) are not just any faces. But still, it is not fair on the 'fair ladies' who take any right seriously so also the right to be printed on money to start having less appropiate conversations on social networks? And yes, it were mainly men who just wonder if Caroline should spend some more time in a kitchen! Welcome to the 21st century ladies and gentlemen! Jane Austen would be having a ball about this one.
Now you will wonder what this has to do with JK Rowling? Well, this succesful author who made us dive back into the world of wizards and secret spells turned out to have already written an other book. We just did not know because the lady had decided that she was going to have it published under a male name. (In case you want to find out what I am talking about:http://www.hypable.com/2013/07/14/how-was-jk-rowling-the-cuckoos-calling-revealed/ )The reviews were not bestseller material till someone on Twitter just decided to reveal who this male author was. And then before I even could breath ten times in and out the sells of the same book hit the roof. Rowling did admit that ever since her identity-swith it had not been such an easy time getting it published and she was even rejected by some houses. I bet some publishers had to drink a glass or two of bourbon to make that news go down. What I thaught was so fascinating was to see what a name can do and that the sex of the author does seem to matter less. What stands out in all of this that women seem still have to 'fight' to fit into a banknote and that the woman who is one of the richest authors of the world her selling figures did not hit the roof did when she did pretend she was a male author. Jane Austen would wonder if the world has turned up side down. I think it still amazing to see how much a name and a reputation do matter.
What do I try to point out with these six perhaps not always newsworthy items? Well, just that I do have been fired up about them along with tons of daily ingredients that I need to worry about to get my life straightened out and to make it worthwhile. More then once I wanted to dive into my keyboard but then I wondered what others their opinion would be about them. I like to think about myself as being a rather impartial person who will think things through before even picking sides in to many situations.
Sometimes the world around does cause me mind to go overdrive because I do wonder what to think of feel about certain news. I am only human and I am not perfect, I have got many flaws, I do have got my own opinion and thaughts about many things but do I wish to be judged on that part? Well, as it turns out there is no way back because living in the world past 9/11 is rather tricky. Everything and everything is looked at with a magnifying glass. Not that I have ever given permission to tap my phone, snap picture of me while I am travelling the world or having a cupcake in Brussels, to read my Facebook posts or emails, etc. And me be being on Twitter is for sure also not the safest place to hang out if I want to live under the radar. Nah, I do have clicked on many little boxes that said I do agree with the terms of use. The link that was below that square I did click on as well be honest I did not always read all the lines that then popped up on my screen!
Do I then feel safe and do I still feel I have got something as privacy? Well, the idea that there is always someone looking along my shoulders is sometimes not such nice feeling but at the same time I do know that privacy in the 21st century has become surrealistic. I try to put it into the right perspective but that is already a full time job and I don't have time for that. I don't have time to any second to get the maximum out this one life that I have been granted.
Yesterday my other significant one told me something that I do think matters in all of these items. When I found out that Russia had given permission to Snowdon to enter Moscow I wondered if we live in a free world and I we still have got something as privacy. 'You are not free.', he suddenly said. So freedom is an illussion? Just like Disneyland or the Efteling? Duh? I went silent because deep down I in a way understood what he tried to tell me. 'Freedom' has become such a complex matter. It is not so straightforward anymore. It suddenly did remind me of that one scene in the HBO series 'The Newsroom'. In many ways I feel exactly like the main charcater Will McAvoy. Because honestly there are moments that I would just do exactly the same as him and that is for once just tell everyone what I realy think about many things and issues. But then he was triggered by gigantic cards that suddenly went up in the audience. The words that were on those cards I consider true in many cases but it is hard work. But deep down I still consider the life I am living for sure is very nice. (Please keep now your voice down, pessimists out there. For just a few minutes let me enjoy that one glass that is half full with vibrant and zesty sparkling Sicilian lemon refresher. So don't even try to burst this bubble!)
Yes, I am now more then tempted to pull funny faces at the cameras that I pass in the metro, at work, in the balletstudio, at the bank and other places where I pass through while I try to make sense of my life. The 'Smile, you are on candid camera'-attitude is for sure the one I try to live by this Summer and on social networks I try to spread to the message of love, peace and compassion. That is hard work and the Daila Lama would for sure approve of me giving my best. As long as I can have my ice cream cone at the end of the day. Food safety or that is an other one..... Wait that is one bridge to far for this entry or isn't it? Oh, guess where I am hanging out next week for three days full of illussion? Yeah, the Efelting! Have yourself all a lovely 'free of what you everything wish for' Summer.
