One of my Blog-friends, Marina ,(you can find her blog in the list of blogs I do follow) sometimes tries (and she succeeds in doing so) to get me into a good mood. A few days ago she awarded my blog and yesterday she challenged me. She wanted me to write down five reasons why I do love blogging and as well five reasons why I hate blogging. I first was a bit doubting putting this down. Still, I needed some 'closure' after writing 'Taking Five...'. The answers I came up with are:
I 'LOVE' (and this for sure) about blogging:
- putting my thaughts and feelings down on a keyboard and share them with others - meeting and discovering tons of interesting people from all over the world (You came into my life thanks to the blog!) - using my imagination without being disturbed - time for reflection and then being able to put things in the right perspective - learning tons of new things about countries, cultures, nature, cities, trends, fashion,.....
(These five I was able to type in a record time!)
I 'HATE' blogging because:
- I sometimes forget time while blogging and time catches always up with me! - it can create some misunderstandings! (a writen word you can't take back that easily) - I sometimes seem to forget the limits of the digital world and I get backfired at! - I once in a while then seem to be a rather less social person to my loved ones! - typos and editing take up so much extra time in which I could have writen already a second entry! ;-))
(These five took me so much longer!)
Guess that I still want to stay out here. I don't know for how long! It started out with a very short entry and I have no clue where it will take me. In a sense I do feel that for me blogging is a bit like therapy! I always liked to write stuff down and on top of that it does bring me happiness! That there are moments that it will let me land back on my two feet and grant me the time to put things back into the right perspective.
So, even in the world of Blogging also 'Love and hate are a beautiful combination!'. Still not thinking of 'erasing' this blog!
'Hey mum! Look! They are putting up the xmas-lights! I love xmas!', A said when he saw some community workers putting up the lights! I was smiling when he said this. A loves xmas as much as I do. We are partners in crime if it comes down to celebrating special moments and holidays. It also it was then it hit me that in exact one month it will xmas! That 2010 is about to come to an end. Time flies!
At the same time it is also the time of the year that I would like to snap out of some situations. It is during this period of the year that I do really have to try to keep peace on earth for all! Like I am tested! It is then that tons of people seem to be on a mission to attack me mentally! Stallie then is about to show her fangs.
I have some issues going on for the moment and I am realy trying to stay out of a mental pickle! This time I am not going to let me get down under! Digital I am going completely insane because of our yearly advent project! With a title as:'There is music into it....' I was politely forced to search for the ultimate xmas song to 'heaten' up the cold playground and hallways of our school. About 48 hours ago I was already turned into walking xmas-jukebox! Made some musical (re)-discoveries and I can't wait for the 1st of December because then Coldplay will release their xmas-song!
The problem with whole this project is that it has taken possession of my whole mind. My mind is full of it! Mindfullness has entered my life! Huray! As a result I am now kind of neglecting all the rest. And all the rest is as important as this project. Okay, if my nice colleague grants me her blessing, and I manage to find the lyrics of a certain song and find some nice image to go along with all the writen work then I get my release-papers signed and can move on to all the other items that are on the Never-Ending-To-Do-list.
I know that when I am in a state like this that I tend to forget stuff! Need to speed up things a bit and that people around me seem to be a bit harder on me. They think it is funny to see a stressed out voodoo-doll running around at work. Okay, but they then also seem to forget if I don't do this (and take this to heart) then this project won't see the daylight in time. Not that others are not capable of doing this but for the moment I am bit solo on this, or this what it feels like. What is not true but I guess many of us feel like flying solo once in a while and then find out that have got a few wingmen out there!
Well, sometimes this girl just tends to take things too much at heart. I did choose Religion as a minor at teaching college. A choice I made completely by myself and for some very personal reasons! For me the bible is still a very book full of stories that can go the distance. I still pray, believe in people and the force that it is hiding out there and also alive and kicking in every human being. And this against all odds.
Even all the negative news that I came across can't change that. Negative stockexchange news about Belgium, still no government, Ireland in a financial turmoil, Germany threatened by terrorist attacks, many terrorist arrests, English universities occupied by angry students, dirty Facebook wars, Wikileaks about to create a diplomatic turmoil,..... NO, it can not and will not get me down on my knees!
'BELIEVE' is a word I came across the last few days and I really want to do so. It is at this time of the year that we seem to dive first into the negative zone and then get wrapped up in bubble wrap to sit down under the xmas-tree and sing about joy and peace on earth! It seems that it only during those few days that we seem to take the time to go a little but further in many things! That hope is allowed back into our hearts and that we for about 48 hours can picture a world that is filled up with many positive things.
So I have decided that this year I am not going to wait till xmas-evening to wrap myself into bubble wrap. And this in order to safeguard my feelings of hope. I badly want to be a teacher, human, lover, mother, supporter, sponsor (read xmas-shopper) who walks around in the best advent-spirit ever and try to pass on bits of that special feeling to all I come across on my way to the xmastree and nativity set. After all, I do think that advent is for sure a period in which you can try to think in a more positive way. And be grateful for all the things you do have!
Of course, you all out there you will challenge me in the weeks to come. You can try, you can come closer and make some of these little bubbles explode (or copy and paste the link you can find at end of the entry and believe me you will have some bubble wrap fun! ), but I refuse to let you that close that you can unwrap me and take away all the hope and faith I have! So don't be surprised to find this year xmasgifts wrapped into bubble wrap underneath the xmastree because I also strongly believe in recycling!
P.S.: With the first snow entering Belgium I wish you all a very happy advent and that you will wrap happily anything that you come across.
P.S.1: Two photo-collections will help me to stay wrapped up in the next weeks to come. First of all the shots I found on the net of Edward&Bella Cullen while filming 'Breaking Dawn'. Robert Patisson & Kristen Stewart in a 'hot' beach outfit & wearing a weddingring makes me smile! Sorry, to break the news to you but I won't share those pics with you, at least not for now! The other collection I don't mind sharing. And I do think that it for sure this one that matters most! Just take a look and hopefully you do agree that it is worth to still believe in a world where all living creatures can live without bubble wrap!
P.S.2: This bit tacky you-tube video I came across while surfing all over for my advent project. For sure not usable but at advent I do think that we try to get a bit closer to the stars. After all it was a star that showed us the way to the light! Perhaps nice background music while whatching the pics!
P.S.3: For tons of bubble wrap fun go to: www.virtual-bubblewrap.com/index.shtml
A & his godmother N that is always guaranteed fun! So when when N her P ended up spending the weekend in Paris and Stallie her P ended up spending a long Saturday amongst coworkers (being a moderator and imitating Nemo!) we decided to grant 'the A' an extra day filled up with fun. So around five we entered the huge movie complex of Kinepolis to go and watch finally 'that movie about those little yellow men that make pics of their ***'. Because when asked A if he knew something about the movie we were planning to go and see that was the short synopsis he gave!
A loves going to the movies. He was even more into the whole 3D-experience then his godmother. Also the prospect of having a whole bucket of popcorn and a huge funcup filled up to the brim with his favorite pop made him feel even more excited. So N was scoring big time when she picked us up! By the time we finally obtained the special 3D-glasses and took possession of our booked ahead seats A had already emptied half of his popcorn and most of pop as well!
To make sure that A was not going to be a major disturbance during the show I made him go twice to the smallest room! The sight of the little blond guy in a blue sweater and wearing those funny looking glasses and once in a while giving very out loud comments about that movie were just hilarious to make me LOL! But I got a crack out those little yellow 'Minions' and also Agnes made me just crawl over the floor. I was having fun and even the many hidden messages and double meanings made it for me a real nice time out!
When looked who was sitting next to me I saw a little guy moving around in this seat and a very fashionable N who seemed to have problems with those glasses. I had once read an article that there are some people whose eyes can't manage the whole 3D experiene. Not that she gave up but her eyes would not be grateful afterwards. A was moving up and down in his seat. ANTS IN MY PANTS!!! When I asked him if he had to go he said he just could not go NOW! I was kind of proud that he was for once not the disturbing little mignon!
So when the break came he made a run for the toilets. I was even not allowed to go with him. In a flash he was back and jumping back into his seat. There are moments as a mum that you want to make use of some science fiction equipment. And this was such a moment! Once again it was the cool & quick thinking godmother who saved the day by coming up with style advice!
By the time the yellow mignons showed their final tricks and the credits were passing along A was dressed up for combat and ready to face the Saturday crowth of the European capital! Try to picture two 'young' ladies walking through a touristic area of Brussels with a kid wearing a very long brown winterjacket and very funny brown hat! And wearing no pants! It was very hard to keep my face straight. Every time that A caught me smiling or LOL he said:'This is not supossed to be funny, you know?'
The walk to the carpark was one I will not forget that easily because A refused to walk! I had to carry him whole the way to the car! I tried to make no eyecontact whith anyone we met on our way. 'Dispicable Me' will go into our personal family history as the movie where none of us kept it dry! You can be sure we will get this one on DVD! Thanks as well N for this very nice day out!
P.S.: SPOILER-ALERT in case you are still planning to go and see the movie: DON'T READ ON! This week is National Storytelling Week in Belgium! So I do love this part in the movie! And I also believe strongely in telling stories before bedtime! And when we came out of the theater it was full moon and I was happy it was still there. A was very down to earth when Gru tried to steal the moon:'Mum, you can not do that! Stealing the moon! It is to big!'
A few weeks ago one tiny article in the newspaper caught my eye. It said that Prince Charles had invited the parents of Kate Middleton over for a hunting party. According to this article this was a major deal because hunting in the company of British Royals is not just hunting! Nope, it is the big deal! The sign you are waiting for because it the final curtain call! Once parents get that one invitation they know it will not just be game and tea that they get served.
So the signs were out! I was picturing Kate her parents dressed up for the hunt driving down in one of those typical Green Land Rover & feeling rather nervous as well. Bet that the British tabloids were hiding out along the road to catch a glimpse of the future inlaws of William!
Hey, after 8 years dating a Royal prince and having been spotted all over the place with him & chased by tabloid journalists, reading tons of insane stuff about yourself wherever she was buying a newspaper Kate was also wondering when the time would be there to tell the rest of the world that the royal wedding was on! The girl had already got the taste of what it was going to be like once they would plant a tiara on her head! Life would never be the same once William would slip that rock around her manicured finger!
Eight years that was what it took to make the Royal Prince pack his bags head with Kate to Africa and after three weeks of tracking around in Kenia (he had to hold on to that engagement ring very close the whole time!) to pop the final question! There were close friends travelling along! So they were to first to get the worldbreaking scoop for once and not family or the tabloids. William admited that he had not asked Kate her dad first because he was afraid of being denied the hand of his Kate! Funny!
When the news was made officially Charles was asked what he thought about his son future marriage:'Well, they have been practising long enough!' Guess that was something that he never was granted. Diana was 19 at the time when he proposed to her and in one flash turned her into the most photographed Royal of the world. We all know were that Royal Wedding finally ended? By the time William was about to get out of puberty he already had lost his closest ally when dealing with matters of the heart!
So while he was browsing through the high stacks of artbooks out there at Saint Andrews University and crossing, in the hallways of his dormitory, the mysterious and spontaneous looking Kate there must have been something in the air, something that made the difference, something that felt out of place, something that aroused his senses and feelings, something that touched him very intensly, something that made him smile, something that made his heart beat faster, something that made him anticipating, something that made him feel alive and happy! And also Kate must have been experiencing some of this!
Kate stood to her guy through out college! Even was the reason why he got this degree! They also had their less moonstruck moments when William openly seemed to consider Kate 'just' a girlfriend and was not considering marriage! He took a break in the company of his cool army comrades! Kate tried to enjoy a bit her regained freedom and dressed up for any occassion. And because I guess that also a prince gets his eyes on tabloids he ran back to his Kate begging for a kiss.
So finally after 8 long years and many more begged kisses from Kate he ordered to get that little jewelery box out of the vault and took it along to Africa! The engagement photoshoot and the interview they survived successfully! Let us hope that Kate will not always get haunted by the memory of Diana! In many ways she will because we all like to make comparisons. In William's case many wonder what the heritage of Diana is, what lives on in her own flesh and blood! William is not Diana and he is not Charles! Thank the lord for that!
Kate is the only one who will know what haunts him when the lights go out and what goes on in his mind. She will have to share him with many but when it comes down to true feelings and the matters of the heart she is the only one he will turn to. William pledged himself to keeping her safe and not let her be haunted by many of us who think that even her running to the gym with no make up on and perhaps wearing the wrong colors will be a major headline. Can you blame him? I don't think so because what you love and care for you do want to keep away from harm!
Uhm, in more then one way William reminds me of a certain Twilight character! They both are of the overprotective kind when taking care of their loved ones and they both used the engagement ring of their beloved mothers to make a girl for a split second (and longer!!)the happiest girl alive!
Let us hope that when those two are standing out there on the balcony of Buckingham Palace and the world is anticipating that one kiss that they kiss together! One thing is for sure that Kate does now know for sure: it is not 'Tom, Dick or Harry' she is getting married to! Harry she will have as an inlaw and she will hopefully feel more living amongst characters of a Shakespearean comedy instead of a drama!
"See! the mountains kiss high heaven, And the waves clasp one another; No sister flower would be forgiven If it disdained its brother; And the sunlight clasps the earth, And the moonbeams kiss the sea: - What are all these kissings worth, If thou kiss not me?"
~Percy Bysshe Shelley, Love's Philosophy
P.S.:I even twittered Peter Facinelli, alias vampire-dad Carlisle Cullen, telling him the news:'Charles invited Williams his future inlaws for a hunting party! Are you planning something similar for Charlie &Renee?' Trying to picture those two trying to hold up with Esme&Carlisle while chasing after mountain lions! Uhm, Esme perhaps better serves a few cucumber sandwiches and some Earl Grey tea and Carlisle better gets out the best bottle of Bollinger to celebrate this one in company of the future inlaws of Edward! ;-))
Believe it or not but there are moments that I have a love&hate relationship with this blog. Yesterday my finger was once more lingering around the delete button. And for the moment I have sent some entries to blogheaven! Not the first time that this has happened. Because I do have a conscience when I write. It is not because I do get 'Up, Close & Personal' that I do not have my own limits. But perhaps you, as a reader, are not aware of it!
Like most (I don't believe in the perfect&permanent state of happiness) I have screwed up! Some entries that I have writen have caused/cause me pain and have made me rethinking my attitude about blogging. Spending time in the virtual&digital world sometimes makes your head spin. Half of the time I do not know who reads this stuff. To me this is my diary! Instead I could actually take a nice personalized notebook covered in a floral design and put down all my personal stories in there and in black ink (ink that flows out of shiny & exclusive Mount Blanc (still on my wish list!) fountain pen) on some very nice thick white sheets. An old fashioned diary can be as cool as the must 'pimped up' blogsite but I found out that I wanted to extend my personal writing horizon. So I decided to go for the Blog instead!
When I have such days I do have talks with P and friends about my mental state. Because I then become aware of how others think and then I manage also to reshape my mind and attitude about writing. I do care about what people say or think. I truely do! But does this mean that I should stop writing/blogging? After almost two years out there I have learned some gloomy facts about blogging. Some people point out to me that I get 'very' personal when writing something and that not all people like 'my' way of treating words.
Uhm, so I don't play it safe! I am taking risks! The people who know me personal and since childhood will know that I am not the girl who will jump out of planes, who will smoke a cigarette or will try to cross the street when it is red. Most of the times I play it safe! But when I write I seem once a while to cross a certain boundary. It is then I dip my toes into the ice-cold water in order to find out if I can dive in!
Blogging has taken me to the desolate icecold waters of Antartica and I have been skinny dipping in the very comfortable water at the beaches of Bora Bora! What it does to others I do try to be aware of but I am not perfect! Okay, by using this modern digital tool I throw tons of rather (believe me there are still tons of facts you do not know about me and never will) personal things out in the open. Everybody can and is allowed to read about it.
It is the deal I made with the World of Bloggers! I have never signed a contract before boarding on this blog-adventure! It is a mental piece of paper with tiny words on it! Perhaps the most personalized contract I ever get to write! Hey, I do am aware that some people would never write about the stuff I love the write about. There are people who write and there are people who read. As an 'author' you can try to give your audience what they want but hey, I can't make you all happy! Some will only come by once and find out that this blog is not there favorite place to hang out at! Others will hang out with me for a longer period of time and a very tiny amount of blog-readers will have a longterm blog-relationship with me!
Do I care? Yes and no! To a certain extend I do. But I also have found out that also my audience can not always get a free pass! You can criticize me and then try to point out that I have crossed the line! Whose line do I then cross over? Your or mine? A line drawn by society, nature, the G20, the EU, the WWF, the WHO, the NATO, the Christian faith, diplomacy, etiquette ...... I can keep on going here for hours.....
For the moment I have made some adjustments in my own personal digital households. Call it the act of Digital Declutering! But even this 'good' deed is questioned by people. People I care about! In the next few days I will make up my mind. MY MIND! Not your mind and I even dare to state that I might prefer the freezing cold waters of the Artic Ocean to the rather comfortabel waters of the Poval Bay of Bora Bora. Once in a while I will go under and there will be moments that I am floating around in the way open sea not knowing what is ahead of me or coming my way!
So yes, Stallie is taking five! Five minutes is what I am granting myself mentally resting in a comfortabel hammock on the breathtaking shores of Bora Bora in order to contemplate about my blogging life! Five long minutes to put things back in order in my blog-mind and then I hope to back off for my next adventure of a life-time. MY LIFE-TIME!!!
The weather does not agree with me! To much rain and I have already blogged so many times about that bloody weather condition that I refuse to give it any more air-space! So I decided to go and find some inspiration elsewhere.
So the guest appearance of the month I kindly give to a very special bloglady: IndigoPetra. She wrote this entry to make us think why we sometimes fall for the moviestar or some other big shot out there. The guys or women who seem to have it all! The ones we desperately want to get closer to.
Yes, Stallie, still has got this thing going on for Peter Facinelli. Today, he will be in Dallas meeting fans. The last few days he was not on Twitter! Not I was worried but others seem to be! Uhm, the guy has got a job to do! 'Breaking Dawn' is now filmed on many fronts. Brazilians go crazzy and are even upset because they can't get as close to their beloved 'Bella&Edward' as they wish for!
Last Thursday while I was 'Remembering' London went insane for Harry&company! Movie #7 is out and so the red carpet was filled up with the many know names that we have been growing up with! Daniel, Emma & Rupert got their share of 'fan'-atic behaviour to witness while they were out there. There were even some Belgian flags waving in the crowth! I am big Harry Potter fan but facing the pouring rain for then just catch one glimpse of Ralph Fiennes, Emma Thompson or Daniel on a big projection screen is just a bit to far fetched!
It is for sure something that comes along with fame: fans! I am fan of many things, places, objects and for sure famous A's: actors, athlethes and authors. Those three groups can make me scream, yell, cry, smile, cheer, curse, shiver, and some other human reactions that take part inside and outside my human body.
Peter Facinelli (I would love to buy some of the cookies he was baking for a good cause while other wondered why he could not Twitter), Kim Clijsters (she is going to play Justine in a few weeks!), Herman Van Rompuy (the first European president signed very politely and with a warm smile his book filled up with 'haikus' I bought @ the Bookfair of Antwerp, he had brought along an army of security people), Sinterklaas (who just arrived in Antwerp and has to face the rain and keep smiling), Dick Norman ( tall redheaded man with curly hair, lovely smile and in the company with a tennis racket who will be playing the Masters Doubles along the side of Moodie) and today I voted for the best dressed British guy walking around on this globe (won't tell who I voted for because I consider voting rather a very personal act!) and many more can make me act like a fan.
Author wise I do not know how many people bother to read me and what would happen if I would announce one day that 'As Life goes By' is a thing of the past,... I don't know..... I do check my statistics but these don't tell all you wish to know. And if I come to think of it, am I worth a fanclub? Nope, don't think so but I do know that A for sure is my biggest fan ever and that P still is renewing his membership ever year again. Two fans that is all it takes to make me do the very best out there. For all the others that happen to read once in a while a piece that I have tried to 'compose': thank you so much for granting me some of your precious time! LOVE YOU ALL!
All the other emotions I do not wish to write about (at least not for the moment) are described in this rather very nice piece of writing:
IndigoPetra: Love: "Love... what does love mean to you? For me - by now - it is feeling at home when- and whereever I am, as long as I am with my husband. I do..."
P, A & I were able to sleep in on a Thursday and this together! Outside nature shows the first effects of colder temperatures. A & I now both love to warm up our beds with a cozzy warm cherry-pillow! P still is so brave to get fired up for a long run and takes along his MP3 player. The rest of the day we have not planned yet. A wishes to spend it with some friends or in a dark cinema theater. We shall see but we will have to go to the bakery to pick up some fresh croissants!
The last few days I asked my pupils in action why they will be granted an extra school- free day. It worries me sometimes that the younger generation 'will forget'! Especially when it comes down to historical facts. Looking at the average Belgian school curriculum that subject seems to have turned into a tiny footmark! I was kind of relieved to find out that my Juniors for sure know what 11.11 marks on a calendar.
Personal I am one of these people who very strongly believes in the importance of these days. And not only because I ended up with two college professors who were so into War Poetry. It takes more then a few lines of strong words to mark the deeper meaning of this day in your heart&mind.
This week P got all excited about the arrival of a certain Amazon package! The last few days he did spend in front of his computer screen, headphones plugged in and next to him the DVD-box of 'The Pacific'. We watched two episodes together and I must say that it is for sure this box belongs into P his personal war collection. In case you ever are granted a look atit you will notice that it breaths WAR!
P told me that he was one of these boys who liked to dress up as a soldier, build war headquarters, think tactics and force his younger siblings to enlist. In their back yard many wars were fought successfully. On top of that he had tons of those plastic soldiers (think Toy Story) who got engaged into many fantastic battles that were fought in his bedroom. I have seen the sparkle in his eyes when he talks about these memories.
Guess that globally many 'real' (uhm) men have got to tell some 'war'-stories that were fought at the homefront. And that in those cases most of the time the number of casualties was rather superficial. I am even tempted to call it a fixed ingredient of growing into men!
But... WAR it can not engage me into a cheerfull conversations or make my eyes sparkle. I have visted many places were the leftovers from an act of war are still to be witnessed. The first time that my dad dragged us children to the Ardennes and made us stare at the many rows of white crosses was a day that I won't easily forget. He repeated that act over and over. When we visited Normandy he made sure that we learned all the names of the beaches. He also pointed out many times that war did for sure changed the soil on which we walk. That those crosses mark more then just a grave of an other soldier.
In my own family the War (the 2nd WW) knocked also on the door. My grandfather, a Belgian solidier, was a POW during the second World War and my uncle joined up with the Royal Navy (he still wears this blue uniform with dignity and pride) at the time. My dad was about six when German soldiers bursted into their house. They seemed to be searching for British soldiers who were hiding out in the neighbourhood. But it turned out that one of them was just looking for the loo! My dad even remembered very vividly the first green colored bottle of Coco Cola brought along by the American troops!
Two words all of these men used/use always with a lot of reverence were/are the words FREEDOM & PEACE. Every time I was sitting in history class, when reading a poem or book, watching a movie about war they are there with me! In the eyes of many are wars fought for a cause! These acts of destruction seem to be justified! The casualties and sacrifices that were made were 'worthwhile'!
Still I am lost at words when I standing somewhere where the memories of war are revoked! The white crosses, the many gigantic war monuments that I have taken pictures never produced smiles. In most cases they made me feel 'small' and out of place. Even when I read a book covering War then I still seem to have the impression that not a single a word will be good enough to cover the impact of such a thing as war.
Listening to the 'Last Post' in Ypres (today there will be leafs of poppies falling out of the sky while standing underneath the Menengate), the poppies that pop up all over on the BBC around this date, the grey weather and the falling leaves, the growing DVD-collection of P, the pictures of 'great' war monuments I have taken all around the world, my family history, the grave of my grandfather (considered a military grave), the documentaries I get to see on TV it all enables me to remember! AND NEVER FORGET!
Modern Wars are perhaps fought differently but in a sense the effects are the same. In not a single war there are winners because at a certain moment who all tend to loose our dignity and pride. Principles and values are put to the ultimate test. It is then humans are forced to chose between 'right' and 'wrong'! Knowing that there is in most of these situations not such a thing.
It were my two beloved men who pointed out today for sure what this date stands for:
- P:'You know it must have been like hell out there! The war in the Pacific was so different compared to what was going in Normandy or in the Ardennes! Some soldiers called London and Paris at wartime a city trip when they met the guys who fought against the Japanese! You know if you come to think of it we are never grateful enough! People died out there, people so far away from home and some of their lives got ruined because of this. It was so much more then Lucky Strikes and Coca Cola they brought along.'
- A while watching the Children's channel:'Hey, mum, it the day that they put down the weapons! Can we go and watch them do that?'
Uhm, I guess that one of my private soldiers has grown up and that the other one still has a long way to go. But when I come to think it must be rather a strange and at the same time special moment to witness! The exact moment that a war is called to an end and that the weapons are silenced and that a soldier can put down his guard (weapon) and re-embrace what he/she ached for while being out there!
War is so hard to get your head around but what I truely do now wish to do is not forget about it that it ever happened. It happened just around the corner and it goes on just a few countries away. All of this justifies for sure a day to remember all those people that went/go the distance and put everything at stake they stood/stand for!
I am at lost for words and therefor I rather use the words of a Canadian soldier, doctor and poet, John McCrae, who was sure far way from home when he composed this wold famous War poem! One glance at poppies that is all it takes to take me there and remember!
PS: Boston Times Big Picture brought once more the 'best' images together so that we will never forget!
Midterm-break is about to end and this teacher is already fired up to go back out there. Yesterday a good friend of mine asked if it had been a good break! Without any hesisation I said:'YES!' Actually it was a winner!
I do consider this particular midterm break a winner and rather unique. Not only because of the longer nights, the bookclub meeting (where I am about to get evicted from because of promoting 'Carlisle Cullen' as the grown-up excuse to read 'Twilight'), the delicious day in Brussels with N (pizza, cupcakes and macarons), buying A his first pair of running shoes (the treadmill experience made me LOL), a day at a very nice city spa in Antwerp (Le Boudoir!!) in the company of W (that full treatment from top to toe made me dazzle!) and the many moments I did feel rather relax. No, it was so much more that made this week one to remember.
In my life I have this secret wishlist of things I want to become. I am not talking about becoming a movie star or being up on the ballot of this rather surrealistic nation. Most the items on that list I can call rather realistic and in reach. Last year I got to scratch out already one of the very important items: maid of honor! I am still so grateful to N that she included me into the fun&planning of her wedding. And also considers me responsible enough to take care of her when needed in her married life!
Two days ago I got one more item covered! Because on Guy Fawkes Night I got that one special phonecall of my brother J telling me that his third child was born. And by that act he turned me into a godmother! Imagine a 30 something going completely insane and screaming it out for joy! So on the fifth of November Stallie became the proud godmother of a very unique individual called ELLA!
I feel honored! I truely do, because I had to wait rather a long time to be asked by anyone. When A&J asked me last summer while we were at our family reunion I was so thrilled. They touched my heart by asking this. P knew that I had hoped to be asked but you never have guarantee that it also will happen for sure. But now I am a godparent! According to Wikipedia this means:
"Traditionally, godparents were informally responsible for ensuring the child's religious education was carried out, and for caring for the child should it be orphaned. Today, the word godparent might not have explicitly religious overtones. The modern view of a godparent tends to be an individual chosen by the parents to take an interest in the child's upbringing and personal development."
Uhm, at a first glance not that hard! I mean being a Religion teacher makes me educated enough to cover the education bit and if anything ever happens to her parents I will for sure be there for her. After all, I am family and family you do take care of and try to keep safe from harm and pain. But when I come to think of what the last sentence can stand for I do think I am up for quite a challenge.
Because showing interest in E her personal upbringing an personal development is not something I will be able by just writing a blog entry. In this case it will be for sure:'Action speaks louder then any words!'. So when I drove yesterday with a smiling face and heart (and yes I had the Disney image of the Fairy Godmothers of 'Sleeping Beauty' in mind) to the hospital for my first glances at my precious godchild I tried to put together a list of personal Godmother-intentions. Intentions I truely intend to keep. To make sure that I won't forget them I do put them down here:
As your godmother, Ella, I intend:
- to spoil you to bits (think candy, postcards, presents,......) - to take you along on adventures close by but also far away (think globally!) - to make you smile (think comedy and a godmother who will try to be funny once in a while!) - to let you speak out your mind (think fierce discussions about many facts&acts and me handing out pink handkerchiefs after perhaps the harsher ones) - to keep my door/house/kitchen open 24/24 (think 'shelter' in case of an emergency) - to celebrate the many milestones in your life (think many 'first time'-moments) - to be interested in your personal undertakings (think many long phonecalls) - to make you 'believe' & never lose faith (think meaningful talks about the facts of life!) - to love you unconditionally and forever (think kisses, hugs, smiles, pats on the shoulders and winks and other meaningful bodylanguage)
Okay, I do know that I lack for sure the magical powers that Flora, Fauna, and Merryweather have in the Disney Classic 'Sleeping Beauty'. But I hope that E will find what she will be looking for when she calls for me. There will be moments that she won't need me. Because she will surely try fixing things herself. Then I also intend to keep my fingers crossed. Because E will for sure be a very strong woman who will be ahead of her time! ;-)
The ten star highlight of this calendar year was the ultimate moment when the very proud mum A handed over to me this tiny bundle of love! In my hands I was holding a tiny, cute and so soft baby that was already awake and kicking. While E was lying there in my arms I started to glow and feel so special!
Best moment of all was when A made me take of her tiny baby bonnet and I discovered her incredible amount of black hair! This little human just looked perfect and so content that I suddenly was about to give into my emotions. I can't describe what went on inside of me while holding on to her. There are not enough words and not a single word suitable enough what I did feel and will feel when being close to E!
I just know one thing and that is that I am going to try to be the best godmother I can be. And in case I do screw up there is still godmother #2 M! Ella, godmother-wise I am sure you got all your bases covered. Hope to hit a few homeruns with you and when you are strike that I am the one who gets to send you out in the open (battle)-field with a great smile and all fired up!
P.S.: Ella, her name rhymes with many things I do like: MustELLA, NutELLA, FruitELLA, StELLA, CitronELLA, BELLA (!), Santiego de CompestELLA but this name also reminds of one very exceptional lady who sang out her heart and was considered 'the First Lady of Song': Ella Fitzgerald. So, girl, you will bring for sure some Jazzy tunes into my life and hope that we can enjoy many of those together! After all: Ella, Elle L'a!!!
Outside it is grey, wet and rather foggy! The trees that I can see while starring out of my kitchen window have already given into the darker side of life. Hate to see them peeling of their leavy attire but I do know that most of them will be back next Spring. Trees seem to be blessed for sure when it comes down to being reborn.
P just left the house and is heading for the private practice to rummage and getting his paperwork in the right order. A is putting together an other sublime and well thaught of (and chances are high that it is inspired by the Anakin&R2D2!) Lego construction. I seem to be the one who is a bit lost today! Because inside my head the spirits of many are visiting.
After all, it is All Saint's Day. Not that I will be visiting the grave of those that I do now dearly miss. My mum told us very friendly over the phone that she did not expect us to come. We have this silent agreement that we do visit the grave yard when we truely want to. It took me ages to go there without getting upset and also rather angry. The last few years I can walk up there without the destructive feelings. Still,....
Today I grant all the people that passed away and have been connected to my personal life line a bit more of my time. Not only my dad and so beloved grandmother! A keeps telling me that he still misses Baziel, my mother's cat. He even prepared a little art work to put on his grave! And there are many more that will be over for a 'flash' visit.
Inside my mind there are fireworks going off! My brain waves seems to be intercepted by many memories that were created in the company of many people I do now miss badly or just kind of remember being a special guest star in my own life. The moment that the sadness is about to take over I try to chase it away with a more pleasant thaught.
So, today:
-I will be all over the place and all over globe. -I will be having a nice time remembering the good times. -I will be having a hard time remembering the pain and loss! -I will be praying that there is something out there that keeps them 'alive'! -I will be starring right into the eyes of a person that still keeps me company where ever I go. -I will be playing tons of rememberance music while I doing many other chores. (including the one here below!) -I will be grateful for the fact that I can remember. -I will be searching for matches to lighten the candles next to some frames. -I will be knocking on the gates of heaven.
But most of all... -I will be loving the life I still get to live and be gratefull that I still get to share the good & bad times with many (who most of them I happen to love unconditionally and sincerly) out there.
A fitting poem to go along with this day is this one by John Keble:
All Saint's Day
Why blow'st thou not, thou wintry wind, Now every leaf is brown and sere, And idly droops, to thee resigned, The fading chaplet of the year? Yet wears the pure aerial sky Her summer veil, half drawn on high, Of silvery haze, and dark and still The shadows sleep on every slanting hill.
How quiet shows the woodland scene! Each flower and tree, its duty done, Reposing in decay serene, Like weary men when age is won, Such calm old age as conscience pure And self-commanding hearts ensure, Waiting their summons to the sky, Content to live, but not afraid to die.
