It is been rough and tough and it is been a great adventure and also lots of fun…I have had that one school year that many of us once in a while you have…the one that comes along every few years…the one that you just hope will not pop up unexpected…the one that just makes you wonder why in the world you did sign up for education…yip…I had the dreaded one year at work. Now before you are jumping to conclusions do not get any ideas that this is anything to with having to deal with little monsters and helicopter dads and/or tiger mums. Nope nothing of that kind.
Rather picture Stallie having to just let go all her plans she made and live from a day to day basis. Expect the worse, hope for the best wa my mantra at most days. Believe me that it has been quite an eventful year in which I just did imagine things a bit different. And although I am a Capricorn and can not always deal that well with change I do consider myself rather experienced enough to deal with the ins&outs of an academic year. Still…there are the exceptional years that kind push me to the limits…and so I have been trying to summarise it in a nice way what I have been facing and all I can come up with is the word ‘an eventful year with many challenges’.
That one TO DO-list I made at the beginning of the year with all my aspirations and hopes and wishes that I had for my department I mentally binned within three weeks in. Oh yes, I had hoped that perhaps things would end up going smoother once Oktober would show up on the calendar but it turned out that I just had to go with the flow. The thing is that due to this that all the other things that happened within this year I not fully got to enjoy.
Work high jacked me and it made me go a bit in overdrive mentally. Yes, I was fully aware that the first year without U would be tough. Still I had no idea that it would force me to end up doing things that made me feel a bit out of control. Plus that I seemed to have the impression that many around me just expected me to just get on with it. What I did but it took a lot of energy from me and even made me wonder if I was doing things wrong.
This school year I have been dealing with hormones that make me rather feel like an out of control teenager in combination with having to mentor. I felt a bit as if I was walking on thin ice on a daily basis and with climate change you do know that falling through is always a possibility. Stallie tried very hard to keep her mood going strong but I have lost it more than once and nope I am not proud of that. What surprised me the most was that I had imagined that I could deal with this but ended up having more than once a kind of ‘crash and burn’- sensation rather than walking on top of the world.
Privately I therefor ended up just filling up my weekends with the things that needed to get done and trying to reload my batteries before going back in. That some teachers give up and suddenly decide that they need to quit I totally get. The thing is that I am also proud of myself that I did get through it in one piece. I might have some tears and feel as if every drop of energy got squeezed out of my system but …I am still standing.
That I love my job and especially the young minds is what keeps me going strong. Yes, I had this year some challenging kids but looking over my shoulders I can even state that I did manage to connect with each one in a positive manner. Yes, these moments are energy boosts and this year I had a lot of successes inside of the classroom that I am very proud of. That I did manage to get some children do get on with their work even when they first were very reluctant. Oh yes, I had to express once in a while that I was disappointed or even felt a bit less hopeful. That is the nature of the beast that I am.
Oh yes, those moments have kept me going and never ever forsake why I still think that teaching and education are what makes me fully committed to the one shot I get at being alive. Yes, I have been saying this over and over again but it are school years as this that will make me extremely happy that I did that one day in July after failing many exams during my first year at uni decided to change majors and even colleges.
It is one of the first impactful decisions I ever made and I had to wait for a very long time that my dad understood why I did refuse to go back. It is been the path that I had chosen to walk on all by myself and hoping that it would bring me happiness, joy and also lots of hope. Hope that could make the difference on a rainy day or even stormy week or month.
There have been many joyful teaching moments but honestly it is are mostly the ones that are also take you by total surprise. After all these years that I have been spending on the teaching grounds I still underestimate what the impact of a teacher can be. Oh yes, I even have one of these rather cliché teaching quotes illustrated by Mary Engelbreit in my office standing on a filing cabinet. Still..these quotes make me sometimes wonder if they have just been created for the sake of them. There is so much that makes my job very challenging and not that straight forward that questioning them is not that hard.
The thing is that there are these very extra ordinary times that your students just take your off guard when they share with you that one thing that makes your heart beat faster. This year it was the moment that one of my Year 4 learners came to see me while I was get packed for the next lesson:’C, do you know what…I went to a ice cream place this weekend.’ Me:’Oh really, did you have fun.’ There was a part of me who was rather thinking about my so needed coffee/toilet break and was heading for the door but then this happened. ‘C, I ordered my ice cream in Dutch.’ When I looked up in was staring in the face of a child with the biggest smile you can imagine. ‘Oh wow…well done!’, I replied and within me there was a very intense and warm feeling brewing. ‘My parents were not able to do so but I was.’, the student added. ‘How did that make you feel?’, I asked the student. ‘Happy…’,was the reply. ‘Hey..give me a high five I added.’, and we touched hands and before I knew the student skipped with a happy step.
While heading for my coffee I felt so alive and connected with what I always wanted to be and hoped to be for the ones I have under buy educational wings. That it after more than 25 years still happens and that I do seem to get students to use what they learn inside a classroom in a different setting and without me being around makes me feel rather proud but foremost very happy. The transfer of skills is a very important step in the learning process and that students share this moment with me makes me feel very connected with them and at the same time I feel grounded.
No…it has not been the school year I had planned for and and I had to deal with a lot of big and even some rather unexpected change. I am very tired and and I need this break even more than I needed it the last few years and yes I look very much forward to being nobody’s teacher for a few weeks. I am very much looking forward to my summer read stack and I can’t wait to try out a few new cocktail recipes. And at the same time I already look forward to the next academic school year…The best way to describe it is that I am about to the throw off the warm and cozy blanket that I got used to having wrapped around me while being out there in class rooms and being on campus and looking forward to trying a new one that withholds many surprises.
I wish all my fellow colleagues and teaches around the globe who have their summer break heading their way a great a rejuvenating break. You all deserved..there is no doubt about that! After all now it is your turn to do some transfer of skills out side the classroom. Have fun…and please wear sun screen!
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