zondag 25 november 2012
*warning: if you hope to find an easy blogentry then please forgive me. This is a rather philosophical and mindfull one. One that I wrote after a month observing, watching, reading many things and people. It is my honest opinion about how I perceive the world. So feel free to skip this one.*
Stallie has not been quite actively involved with her blog lately. Work is taking up most of my harddrive. There is not enough time left to produce an entry that I do think worthwhile to read. The thing is that the last few weeks I did have so many times the intent to write but there was always this little voice in my head that said:'Nah, don't, not worth to put this one out there.'
Still, my mind has been in overdrive the last few weeks and I have to be honest the world has given me plenty of inspiration. You will find out soon by the number of the posts that show up out here. Many of you were even mindblowing and I even include myself. There have been moments that I just sat there at the watching television or reading a newsarticle thinking:'Nah, you must be joking.' or 'Come on, you can't be serious.' Or even just observing others was sometimes a bit awkward. I have more then once twisted my tongue and instead of speaking up my mind had to grab for one of my candy dracula teeth. Sugar does make the medicine go down!
No, Stallie is for the moment in her typical November blues and I then find out that many did join in. Or is this perhaps the beginning of the end? Nah!!! I do not believe that the Mayas calendar is right about the prediction that these are the last few weeks of this planet. On that one I have got the tendency to believe the NASA scientists. Okay, we are not doing a great job on many levels out here. Most of the time we still tend to get it wrong even if we think that we have covered all bases. It is then then I am sometimes so surprised how the human mind works.
I am fully aware of the fact that I am not alone running around with hopes, aspirations, wishes and of course opinions. Over 6 billion human beings on this globe try to make it a more fun place to hang out at. And no, they are not all the same. Thank the lord (or whatever force is behind that genetic action) for that. Stallie loves to dive into that diversity. I still consider myself very open minded and I have been to a few places over the years to be fully aware that what I think is 'normal' is for an other human being a bit more complicated.
This month many people around me have spoken up their mind. I did hear you, I did read you and some of you were even very loud and clear what you were after. Stallie is quite trained in mental gymnastics. I do then make the effort of putting on the glasses of someone else and trying to perceive what others do. To me such a brain exercise offers lots of interesting data and makes me more aware of how the human race functions. Believe me it is not easy. It can be rather painful and involves letting go. Something that I had to learn myself and it did take some time.
On a daily bases many things pass my brain seive and it is then I do wonder what I have to think or feel. Still, there are sometimes moments that I just can not put my finger on because there is no right or wrong. If people then would ask me for an honest opinion in the hope that they will hear what they wish to hear you might be surprised what comes out of me.. In some cases nothing and you might see a blank face.
But let us be honest it expressing an opinion involves many skills. But I dare to state her openly that I am still like to be in control of my own brain, my thaughts, my opinions, my feelings, my values.... So there are moments that I have got the tendency to call it a tight because who am I to call someone wrong or right? In many situations there is no real winner. After all I did find out, sadly to say so (and deep down many of you know because you have found this out yourself) that the world is not always 'fair'.
The Garfield side of me then says then that 'nobody is perfect' and as long I there is lasagna for dinner I will survive. Many of us have made mistakes and in many situations I am very much tempted to offer even my other cheek in arguments. Why? Well, let us put it this way: I am tired because I just hate losing the valuable energy I need in order to be the most energetic Stallie, the one I signed up for and I know the world needs.
Deep down I might be slamming a door but I won't show it because I doubt that anger is a very useful communicative approach. Yes, Stallie can scream and yell. I am not proud of that but in arguments I might give you the benefit of the doubt but do not expect me to change overnight. In the background of the argument there is the real present waiting and I wish to be there and fixing what still can be fixed, or help out where my help is realy needed... I just can't afford to lose anymore time...
The thing is that there are sometimes detours on my road that did not show up on my GPS! I then try to find an other route as fast as possible. Okay, I might need a cookie, a cupcake, an extra cup of George Clooney coffee, a winegum or instead of having one serving of lasagna go for a second one and then even opt for the real Coca Cola instead of the light version.
In this month I had many moments that my head was spinning and that I wished we could make the world come to a full stop and take the time to find compremises. But like said before it does not work like that and I just can't 'waste' that much time as I wish because my TO DO-list is monsterous long and I have many people I wish to take care about and things that I wish to do before I finaly can dive into my present list and spoil myself and others a bit.
My best medecine for the moment is watching 'Games of Thrones'. A series that P&me even manages to keep awake a bit longer on a rainy and cold evening. From under the duvet I travel into the heads of many characters who are after something we are all after justification of their deeds, love, happiness, power,wealth, adventure, loyalty, a good laugh, a pat on the shoulder, a ride on a horse, a sword fight, a stolen kiss or a hug and the promise that in the end everything will be restored as we consider it right. It is not an old idea. But power still today does funny&disasterous things to the human kind.
And with all due respect, ladies and gentleman out there, be honest you do not have time to waste neither. So do not be surprised if I offer you in the middle of a fierce conversation some candy. After the dust has settled I still believe in the greater good and wish to move on. Please also believe me if I had the solution to tons of world problems I had already posted it out here. But if you do think you have got an solution to world problem then please share...for now let us have a good ride out here...one that lives up to our expectations. Just do not forget to laugh once in a while! `
The music I chose to go along with this entry are these two:
1. A song by Celine Dion, who I always do prefer to sing in French. Her voice is then less tensed and her songs are almost like poetry. On this one I did even dare to dance on street. Okay it was dark and raining at that moment but I then did just splashed into the puddle and felt very much alive...and yes I am also still waiting like so many of us...
2. And this one by Robbie Williams can make me smile but believe me I do feel in many situations like that guardian angel. Yes, I use candy in many situations.
PS:And for those who wonder what P&me have got there mouths full about. Season 3 is about the air in 2013. So you have got still time to dive into season 1 and 2 or read the book. What might take a while because it is a real challenge.....think Lord of the Rings... Because I do not wish to give away too much just the opening of this show.