dinsdag 17 juli 2012
Where Is My Summer Mind?
While I am typing this entry I am under a duvet! Not kidding! I am longing for hot coco with marshmellows and perhaps even relocating the Stroh-rum to chase the cold away. It does not help to watch tonight Tour de France journal 'Vive le Vélo' where the French sun is setting in the back. Because the closest I get to a bit of some Summer spices is filling up my bath with Lavender foam bath of L'Occitane. And these I call rather desperate measures.
Today I am trying to come to terms with the fact that this Summer is just wet and that I mostly will need to wear not only waterproof mascara but also should opt for Wellies instead of my sunny looking sandals. Have even postphoned buying a bikini because let us be honest when am I ever going to wear that kind of outfit?
Okay, water is in the 21st century considered rather valuable and there will be armed conflicts to get a bucket full of this fluid. So in a way I should feel like a multi miljonair when I am looking out of the window. But at this time I feel like I am ambushed in my own house. Yes, I am going through the annual Summer hibernation phase! Which I hate because my head feels then as it is filled up with cotton balls and I tend to change into a zombie.
In the morning I wake up like I have not slept at all. My eyes feel heavy and I hardly seem to find the way into the bathroom without tripping over some shoes or walking into a door. Next I am so surprised to meet up with the person in there. 'Are you sure that you are the same person as last night? I am sure that yesterday that wrinkle here and that dark circle there, weren't there yet. What kind of magic do you know that I just did not know the existence of?' And then I decide it is time to get the lid of of an other gigantic pot of anti wrinkle cream.
By the time I find the coffee machine, that is if I don't forget to fill up the water tank before hitting the big cup-button I am totaly convinced that the only spot that I want to hang out is my bed. My mind is in a constant fight about waking up or not. The caffeine-shot that I then fire into my system sometimes seems useless and this despite the 'by all means' very fitting George Clooney mug I bought to go along with this routine. My hair is then already telling me that it will be useless to book that family photoshoot you have already visions about for years.
I then kind of feel like there is conspiracy going on against me fighting back the Summer blues. I hate them because I know exactly what they feel like and where they will take me. It is a place I hate hanging out at.
Not that I don't try to fight back. The week of teaching Summer school was a way of trying to fool my body. 'This time you just won't find your way in! Even after 10 months I can still can go very strong.', I tried to tell my mental system. That we even planned this year the Summer fun park trip rather early on was also part of the grand escape route.
Stallie her body system in Summer mode is very hard to fool because I now even have the impression that it is hitting back big time. If I just give in it takes me there were my mind races and at the same time makes lethal collisions take place and then I just feel like I am drugged. I am numb and I could walk around in my Jane Austen PYs most of the day but but hardly believe in Mr Darcy anymore. All the mindfullness I have parked in the long term parking of national airport and my multi vitamin complex tablet with the very promising name 'Activate' seems to be a placebo. Pretty sure that Shakespeare would prescribe 'The Tempest' instead of A 'Midsummer Night's Dream' to me if he would come across me in such a state.
But against all odds I keep on trying to fight back by many ways:
- reading the grand selection of books Nicola's Bookclub put on her Summer menu.
- playing the physics game by the lovely name 'Amazing Alex' on my iPhone.
- eating bowls of yoghurt ice-cream with Summer berries and rasperries and making it a bit more decadent with whipped cream on top.
- ironing filled up to the brim laundry baskets with blue shirts and watching Harry Potter movies
- popping an extra bag of popcorn in my microwave and sharing it with two beloved home boys.
- stopping by at the bakery for an extra croissant or pain au chocolae
- saying goodbye to tons of papers that are part of my old professional life and once more see the color of my table top of my office furniture.
- extreme long phonecalls with friends who were tempted to order flowers.
- paying a former colleagues a visit (including the scenery route, still no GPS) for lunch & strawberry pie for dessert and just talk for hours.
- singing totaly off-key in your car and this includes and move along when standing still in front of red traffic lights. No, I do not care that the driver next to me thinks I am insane. Madonna her 'Holiday' song I play over and over like one of these self instruction tapes.
- going to the movies by myself for latest Woody Allen that takes you to Rome and makes you fall in love with Italy even more and discover that Alec Baldwin does not always need to show his breast hair in order to act decent.
- jump in your car to have a lovely cupcake with a gigantic homemade lemonade in the 'Nothing Hill'-like corner of Brussels and this in great company.
- take your friend out for her first dinner date on a weekday since she gave birth and her lovely kid can almost walk to the fridge now!
- crash on the sofa in the company of a gigantic bag of crisps and not feeling guilty about the calorie intake.
- playing in the morning Italian, German and French songs to chase away those very gloomy and dark mind showers. Yes, picture me moving along in our rather small bathroom. Yes, I then end up having some more blue spots at the end of this gym session. But then I dive into my fridge for a tropical orange juice and even prefer an iced coffee above a warm cappucino.
- letting my son A imitate Mr Bean and LOL so loud that he even is startled by the effect of it.
- trying to follow the travel itenaries many friends have given me before they took off to exotic places like Capri, Aix de Provence, Costa del Sol, Mexico City, Noosa (Australia), Sankt Moritz and trying to be very happy for them that they get to have a great time out there on our amazing blue planet while I just once more am able to destroy an umbrella in a record time of 3 days and walk into a door and create tons of extra blue marks on my body. These marks are for the moment the closest my mind and body can get to the color of the tropical sky I am after. But hey, I am not giving up yet!