Every now and then you try to imagine the perfect world. World peace, no famine, clean water, happy shiny people dancing the whole night through in perfect harmony. In that perfect world we would be able to watch television very quitely and with no stress or harsh discussions about the remote control and the programmes we will watch that night. Okay that is perhaps is a bit too much to hope for in one night.
Especially when it concerns a white and black colored object rolling over a green field that causes other human beings to go bezerk. You can already guess that the last sentence is about the number one sport that many men bestow with sainthood. It can cause divorces, fights, bankrupcy and other less nice things. But is seems also one of these exciting sports that can turn our men into their alteregos. When this sport is on the tele this is their only major interest and even your cooking seems not to matter anymore. All they go on about is that ball and the 22 men that run after it for 90 minutes. Even make obscene gestures, scream by the slightest body contact and huge other men because their favourite team managed to score. FOOTBALL that is what I am talking about.
And so women get prepared for the next few weeks because it is going to be hell. The European championship will get kicked off and that means that women find themselves off field or on the bench. Perhaps then some survival tips can help out when dealing with a men suffering of this disease linked to a ball and men in shorts.
1.EVERY NIGHT A LADIESNIGHT: Plan ahead and make sure that you can at least once hit the town with the girls. Just make sure that you don't enter a pub where there are big flat screens because then your night will be polluted with other men watching the game.
2. PICK A FAVOURITE TEAM AND PLAYER. . Just make sure that you select a very sexy guy who plays for the enemy. After a while you beloved one will give in and hand over back the remote control. He might then decide to watch the game not at home anymore. But hey you have an empty couch and you can pick the channel after all or watch a all the 'Sex and the city' dvds.
3. KNOW YOUR ENEMY. And tell the machos that also women can play football. It might hurt to hear that in some countries it is rather a girlie sport to play. Just make sure you get out of the room asap. To get the message across play J Lo her footballsong: 'Get loud'.
4. NO BEER NO GAME. Forget to buy beer and other football related foods. Exit to the local pub or friends house. Pop in that pizza into oven and make some delicous tasting magrittas and watch your favourte chickflik without being disturbed.
5. INVITE YOUR MOTHER OVER. Inlaws are never compatible with watching important games. Even consider them having over for the weekend so that you can let them watch the kids while you are having a facial. Guaranteed that your house will have had a total make over as well, the laundry will be done and ironed and your children will be fed and in bed before the end of the game. Of your men no trace. Check the local pub or other EC-freaks in your neighbourhood.
Just make sure that you don't make use of all these tips all that once. Just try one at the time. Every two years you will have to get ready for the enemy. My men are already trained and will behave very nicely. P is not into the game and A can't focus that long on the same televisionprogramme. So I will get of the hook but just know that any lady out there in need of a shelter the next weeks is welcome over.
We wish all footballwidows the best of luck. Also A wanted to let you know that he thinks that Germany will win the cup this year. And yes I might turn out to be a bad parent because I made him bet for 3 euros out of his piggiebank!! For good old times I still hope that the Portuguese will win. After living in the Portuguese quarter of Brussels you just feel obliged to become a fan of their national team. But I just hope that Figo is still on the team. Perhaps I should first check if Portugal is participating anyway!! The power of the ball is hard to resist.