vrijdag 31 juli 2009


Don't get me wrong on this one! I do like summerbreak! The prospect of not having to get up early and being able to spend more then half of the day in my nighties makes me smile! But there are some side effects on having two whole months for yourself.

- I seem to be sleep deprived. You should see me in the mornings when I get up! Ready to be cast in one of those thrillers with zombies in a major part. Teabags won't help and none of the beauty treatments I have in my bathroom can do the trick. Give me a hammock in the garden and I would not get out of it for the rest of the day.

- I hate my white leggs! Once I have to get my shorts on to get through the very hot days or go to the beach for the day I really freak out. I feel so white and it seems to be a mission impossible to get the membership of WST-club (Wonderful Sun Tanned). Not that I have tried but I can tell you that some of these tan lotions seem to have not the promised effect on my skin. At the end of the summer I can renew then my membership of the FWS-club. (FreakyWhiteSkin)

- I feel lonely!!! Due to the fact being a teacher I am blessed with a two months break but the majority of people is not that lucky!! Meaning that when others have their summer break they are not home but somewhere else on this globe. I seem to be home base in case some person out , visiting an Mexican temple, sailing the Caribbean island, enjoying Tuscan cuisine or at Omaha beach in Normandy or some other less or more exotic spots gets into trouble. Not that I have not been away myself but meeting up with old friends is that not easy because they are not just that close by as you wish they would be.
- I don't have the energy to study and this is really a problem!!!! It seems such a mission impossible to actually combine a five year old with studybooks. But let me be honest for once I just seem unable to find the study boost that I am after. It feels like I have a major melt down in my system and the vitamine supplement that I take is not really having the promised effect! And now don't start me sending supporting mails to cheer me on! It just won't do this time. I can't explain why not but I just can't feel the spirit I have been walking around with at work or when being in class this year. Seems I really needed a break.

- I am still waiting!!!! I really do and yes I have mentioned in an other piece that it doesn't matter anymore when or how!!! Still, around me more and more people get married or are heading for their next chapter in their lives and I am still status quo! I had some fierce arguments this years with P and also felt let down by some close friends because it seems so hard to get there. For me attending wedding receptions is rather a nightmare!!!!! I hate it!!!!!!!!
The truth is out!!! Others might have some issues with kids or finding a husband! I even fear the fact that I will die of Mexican flu without being married!!!! I really do!!! Call be mad but that is my biggest fear next to loosing A! But don't be afraid that I will crash your wedding. No way!! I can behave after I had a drink or two and then I just smile throughout the day or night. I might end up in the car with a major headache and won't be that talkative to P because he just senses that the touchy subject is on the tip of my tongue. I will even leave some very nice supportive words in your guestbook! And you can be sure I mean 100% of what I write down in such books.
- I stil have not the dream job I am after!!! God, I had some very tempting job offers this year but I all let them pass. Yip! I did because I felt that it was not the right moment or place to leave my present job. Now I am facing once more having to write my CV and even translate into German or having to scan the internet or newspaper for some interesting job description. This summer I once felt that I am still not where I want to be, jobwise I mean. I need a more challenging job where I can actually dig into the raw material. On top of things will one of my close collegues not be that close anymore and now I will feel so lonely during meetings because she did speak up when I did not dare.

- I think too much! It happens over and over again that once I am half way through my summer break that my brain is in overdrive. I seem to bewitched and feel rather restless. Instead of being a carefree person in vacation mode I am the most indecisive human being around. Seem unable to make up my mind about some very straightforward stuff like milk, sugar or both and what about having to choose between vanilla or passion fruit flavor. So when P asks me where I want to go for the day I am flabbergasted and just stare out of the window and my brain is of for a very long cruise.
Not that I am surprised about all of this because it reoccurs every year again. It is a nuisance but deep down it seems like my mind and body use this break as a kind of signal. I do admit that during the schoolyear I seem never really to run out of energy. Perhaps some setbacks but in general I will manage without really freaking out or having to take some absence of work because I am sick. So, all the above I consider SSE (SummerSideEffects) and I hope that I will find very soon the best alternative medication. So that I can spend some of my break at least carefree! Wish me luck because the next thing I am going to try is some chocolate!!

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