zaterdag 7 augustus 2010

Swallowing the hard way!

Well, I left the blogworld for a few days because I felt not up to sitting behind a screen and typing away! On top of that I do strongly believe in 'bad karma'! Third of all I was also visiting the dark side of my own existence! Three reasons not to create anything written! Any reasons for the mentioned above states? Yes!!! Stallie is having stomach pains!

Ever since school ended I seemed to have the impression that my stomach was feeling like a brick. Okay, I do think that stress management is very important and that work is not the most important drive in your life. Still, looking back over the last ten months I had some nerve wrecking moments that I was about to explode internaly! I was fine as long I got the few hours of sleep I badly needed in order to function from a day to day basis!

Teachers are blessed when it comes down on having long breaks and especially the summer break can make others feel so envious. To make sure that I don't trip on any sensitive toes out there I want to point out here and now that this for sure a very nice extra benefit that comes along with our job description! Still, having time of when most people are working is not always a thrill! Not that I am bored but my body is then telling me take it very slow.

Most years I slept through the month July! Hibernating I was! During the school year I manage to wake up before six but once it is the first day of summer I just collapse aching for sleep. Half of day I walk then through the house trying to feel relax, being excited about having so much time for myself and not having to rush. The first year it happend it scared me. Once I recognised the signs it became part of the summerholiday routine! By the time we got into the second half of the break I was in summer mode!

But this year no extra sleep was on the programme because my body had picked out an other part to terrorize: my stomach. I had promised P to cut down an many delicous ingredients that sweeted up my life. So no Danish, candy or pies anymore or only once a week! Well, against all odds this seemed to go very easily! Stallie managed to walk by many bakeries where cakes & pies were screaming out my name and I did not even felt tempted! Even a visit to the super market did not tempt me to buy and then hide S.(ecret)S.(weet)S(upplies)!

Also snack time I just started to skip and I did not even noticed it! When A asked for some crisps I was able to resist the bag myself! My hunger sensation was acting weird and I guess that the blood sucker Edward Cullen would have signed up for that one immediately. I, at the other hand, felt very 'strange' and out of tune about this!

P only got alarmed when one morning I woke up told him that I even woke up in the middle of the night because of the stomach sensation! It took him only 3 days (this is record time, believe me!) to hand me over the phone and calling a friend of his specialised in the stomach diseases. N, being a very good friend, listened very attentively to my complaints and asked my some of those routine questions. 'So to hear you might have a small stomach ulcer!', was her quick diagnosis! Before I knew I was up for an insight trip through my digestive system! AHHHHHHHHH!!

Stallie was freaking out badly! I have this internal list of things I would like to keep out of the way as long as possible and this 'gastroscopy' was way out there on my list of my favourite outings. So I started to feel very tensed, was running around unfocused and yes, I was freakishly worried! Hey, the prospect of having the swallow a big black tube and then letting it have a trip down memory lane was not seeming very appealing to me! P tried to point out that it was a routine thingy! You should know that this down-to-earth-doctor once had tried to avoid this himself by experimenting first with tons of medication before surrendering to the tube!

My brother J was also so nice to point out that this was going to be a stroll through the park for me. 'You are always the brave one when it comes down to medical stuff!', he pointed out over the phone. He already had the t-shirt so this time I did feel a bit jealous of him knowing what to expect! I was going blind on this one!!!

So my final count down started! I did try to keep myself busy but I was so tensed that I even not managed to make a hairdresser appointment or calling friends who might be home! Nope, Stallie stayed at home and her mind was racing insane. I was so focused on my stomach issue that I started to see and feel things that were for sure imaginary illussions.

I even started to rumage through the house. P had many times asked me very politely to start throwing away some stuff that seemed just into the way of many except me! Boxes filled up with old postcards, school folders, yellow colored pages of magazines, letters (also love letters and did I find some 'interesting' ones in one my old boxes!!!)and other 'garbage-to-be' went through my hands! While sitting out there in the attic surrounded by tons of 'old' memories I was travelling through my life! I was all over the place and the world! Cherishing many things that had made me smile, kiss, scream, dream, cry, run and also worry! It was perhaps the best activity to fill up the waiting time! But no way that I was going to blog about this! It seemed to me that this was going to stimulate my bad karma!

So by the time I ended up on the table and felt the small needle go into me with the 'Date Rape Drug'(P had given me the full insight on what they were going to inject down my veins!) I surrended! I don't recall a lot of what N has been doing down there. P and A had been so friendly to stay out of there because I even not wanted them in the room! P knows too much and when something was seriously wrong I wanted some privacy! Once I made it back on a chair and found out that there was no 'alien' in there or anything life threatening I allowed them in! P and N then discussed my meds while I was sitting there completely drugged out!

Don't ask me who I called or sent a text message to tell them I was fine, I don't remember it vividly! Everything happened in a blurr. P told me that if he would have given me some 'fishy' documents I would have signed them! Yeah, right!! By the time I called it the day and went upstairs and reached for my very funny read 'We are all made of glue' I was drifting away! P found me some hours later still sitting straight up, lights still on and sound asleep!!!

Guess what, I don't even remember that but when I woke up this morning I did feel so different! Like I had slept very well for the first time. P smiled when he saw me waking up this morning! 'I guess that sleeping part went well!' He then started to rumage in the bath room looking for the medication, he handed them over and told me that I was even allowed to have coffee! Yeah, this is heaven!!! I am facing now at least one month of medication! But I hope that I will be graving for some sugar as well because after all Mary Poppins is damn right when it comes down to dealing with medication in many forms and sizes:

'A Spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down
The medicine go down
The medicine go down
Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down
In a most delightful way'

(Julie Andrews, A Spoon Full of Sugar, Mary Poppins)

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