One of my personal strong points is that I can keep some things to myself! I have proven some numerous time before that I can make out for myself that when people confide in me that they do this because they consider me not a twaddler. Meaning also that I once in a while end up with some classified information. You can bet that this sometimes causes some internal conflicts. That the secrets living in the less highlighted spot of my memory are a bit bigger then some gossip about one of your college friends. The older you get the bigger the dimension of the not-to-copy-and-paste-words are.
Realising that many come over and tell you stuff that you can't be shared with the rest of the globe is not always a walk through the park! Most of the time I don't have a hard time with not letting the cat out of the bag but still....
For the moment I feel like one of these CIA-agents who knows too much and putting her own sound mind in jeopardy when the truth comes out. Uhm, I am overreacting now but I am only human and this means that sometimes my head is about to explode. The only safe house that I then can use to scream out the truth is my car. While driving on the highways I am having monologues in order to analyse my newest mind-assets! In order to guarantee 100% confidentiality I will turn up my radio so that buggs don't have a chance to pick some secretive vibes.
Not that I take it for granted that people seem to turn to me with their secrets and many personal stories. Nope, it amazes me more then once! While I am listening my mind starts to work and I try to put their words in the right prespective. These expressed words turn into homework for the brain. Everything and everybody is taken seriously.
One of the consequences is then that I will question the person and ask him what I can do with these secrets or rather touchy stories. 'I am in need for advice!', is then their response! I then end up trying to be openminded and not judge any mentioned party in their story. Not that I imagine that I am the Oracle at Delphi! But at least I hope that when people talk to me that they will feel better or even turn secrets into common knowledge!
Where does it leave me? Well, I am not sure but to make me feel a bit lighter I took one of these personality tests out there on the internet: the MBTI-profile test, a kind of action profile test. The outcome after answering a list of rather straight forward questions was that I am the happy owner of an ENFJ-profile.
According to that website this stands for:
"Warm, empathetic, responsive, and responsible. Highly attuned to the emotions, needs, and motivations of others. Find potential in everyone, want to help others fulfill their potential. May act as catalysts for individual and group growth. Loyal, responsive to praise and criticism. Sociable, facilitate others in a group, and provide inspiring leadership."
When I got into it a bit deeper I ended up reading some stuff about the 4 temperaments and got into this article about the idealist teacher. Well, what can I say overall most of that stuff they went on about seem to be true in my case!
It then seems to be rather logical that that I am rather idealistic personality who invests lots of time and energy in other people and believes strongly in commitment. No wonder that I then start to wonder that walking around with so much secrets, opinions, stories, gossip, strong language and other meaningful words created by other profiles is not someting easy. But then I was happy to see some famous ENFJs with a teacher aspiration:
Oprah Winfrey, Pope John Paul II, Ralph Nader, John Wood, Margaret Mead and last but not least Mikhail Gorbachev!
I must say a rather nice list of names but only 1 was up to the job when he had to deal with secrets: M.G. The former president of the USSR was so lucky to have the KGB in case that he wanted to make sure that a secret would stay a secret! Anybody interested in becoming my personal secret agent?
P.S.: In case you wonder what your profile is, check out: http://www.humanmetrics.com/