My Very Own Private Carlisle Cullen Inhouse Doc?

I am still having headaches and am rather dizzy most of the times! Not that my head is about to explode or that I do think that there is a huge tumor hiding out in there. But even after the 3 docs I paid a visit I still seem not to be able to tackle this 'tiny little' health issue. On top of that I become aware of the fact (and this more then ever!) that having my own very 'cool&stylish' in-house doc is not a blessing. NO! In a way it is a curse.

Not that I am going to talk bad about P now. Don't get me wrong but I just think that it comes along with his job description in combo with having a girlfriend & kid. He just seems not to be as straight forward with us as with his patients. The later ones even manage to make very insane sounding phonecalls (one did realy made me LOL for minutes) in order to get him activated. You can rest assured: P is always 200% focused and he is in a way 'Carlisle Cullen' when it comes down to being passionate about his job.

Having a partner with a white coat and stethoscope is 'sexy, but there are moments that I want to put those on e-bay because before he goes into doc-mode for me I need to have caught an unidentified contagious virus. Still, when I then decide to get some medical attention elsewhere for my health conditition, he gives me the 'evil' eye.

So the last twee weeks I checked out the competition in order to figure out what is 'wrong' with me. The docs that I honored with a visit and challenged were:

1. My own very reliable and trustworthy GP. It was my mum who kindly advised me to get one of these handy men! Because she had seen us being send into school even with fever to make exams (I am not kidding) because of our own very tough in-house doc. 'You need a GP. They take care of you when you do need realy a doc!'
His diagnosis: tension headaches. He also did check me out very throughly. Even did shine with lights in my eyes. Carlisle Cullen flashed up right there! LOL
Treatment: a prescription for massages done by either P (in your dreams, doc!) or by a pro (physical therapist) and a calling card from one of these pros out there waiting to get his hands on me.
Unasked 2nd opinion of inhouse doc: 'Uhm, massages? I don't think that these can fix problems in the long run. Why don't you just swim some lanes extra or stop 'Facebooking' & 'Twittering'! DUH!!!!!!???????

2. A neuro-consult. To that one I did not look forward. Because first of all neurologists can make me very nervous. They can give me suspicious looks and then my heart beat is in for a sprint. But as it happens does P share his private practice with one of these very wise men. After a cross fire of questions, including some about my weight lose (duh!?) I was send home with the diagnosis:tension headaches with a dash of migraines.
Treatment: Can't figure that one out because P paid us an unannounced (but predicted by me!! Should have put all my money on that one!) visit while this doc his hands were pushing down my head. Before I knew it seemed as there was no patient in the room. The two docs were discussing my condition 'over my head'. And as it seemed all the treatments proposed by this nice fellow were not met with applause by my inhouse doc. I bet that if I had left the room that they would not even have noticed. But A happened to be cruising around in there as well and I was stuck in there to babysit him. In a way it felt a bit like Carlisle Cullen was having a nice chat with Doc McDreamy. Still this was one of those moments that you a only need one of them to pay attention.
Unasked 2nd opinion: Massages questioned even more and the painkiller mentioned by this doc specialised in headaches was going to be out of reach. 'If I give you one of these you might suffer a heart attack! Okay, then your headaches are for sure over!' P LOL!

3. A visit to the eye-doc. Yeah!!!! Some out there know that this one made me even smile a bit. Like mentioned in a previous blog post I do admit that I do think that glasses can make you look wiser. People always give me suspicious looks when I tell them that I would not mind to drag around with a pair of those on my nose. So in a way I did look forward to that consult. But my blood pressure went up the moment I was facing all that strange looking equipment that was in that consult room. In a way that dark room reminded me of a torture room fit for a movie covering the Inquisition. The nice doc did check my eyes very throughly and asked me tons of questions.
Diagnosis: eyes are still fine! SO NO GLASSES NEEDED! BUMMER! According to this very wise & experienced looking doc it is migraine-related what I have.
Treatment: Guess, learn to live with it.
Unasked 2nd opinion: I can't 'publish' this one on here! Because on that day P just was having a very bad day himself. It took some funny StuBru-clips to make him smile again. Still I seemed to have the impression that it was a guy with insane big black glasses (Thomas de Soete)who made him LOL and I failed to do so! You see, I do need glasses! For many obvious and less obvious reasons!

No, for the moment an in-house doc is not a blessing! In case you then wonder if all docs are the same as P, don't worry. P as a doc is so much more then I can even blog about. I have seen him in action and I can vouch for him that he will get any job done for sure! The adventage you have over me is that you can first call in order to have an appointment. Still, for once I would just love to have Doc Carlisle Cullen shining into my eyes. Would be so nice to hear him say then:'I think you are going to be just fine!' Not to mention that smile!

P.S.: I also have made up my mind about my treatment. Got the help from some other very nice people out there in order to make up my mind between these three. I will be on the phone tomorow in order to find a physical therapist who can get his/her hands on my head, neck and shoulders. I won't be 'wooshie wooshie' massage but the real stuff in order to get destressed. So who dares to get his/her hands on me?

P.S.2: After all, the only doc who for sure knows the most about me 'Insideout' is P!

Love The Classics

In case you are wondering if I am totally obsessed with 'Twilight' and do not seem to notice anything else worthwhile out there in the 'arty-farty'-world then I want to assure you by this entry. I am a 'Capricorn' and in many ways very conventional and stick to many traditional stuff. Yes, I must admit that this 'Twilight'-thingy is a bit more then just a phase but it also triggers my urge to travel back into time literature-wise. Then I dive into my boxes filled up with dusty college books and then check out the books that are way in the back of my cupboard. Hidden treasures then start popping up in our house!

While browsing around on the internet (searching for a suitable quote for our xmas-card) I came across to a very special illusterous poet: Percy Byssche Shelley! One who has got to honor to have one of those breathtaking Memorials! When you will by accident ever walk by while walking around on the campus of Oxford University you will be silenced by this one! It is such a powerful marble statue! If you have got the time to spare you should sit down there and take a break. And let the marble speak for itself!

If you wonder who Shelley is, you can best google him. A very nice reference site is: www.online-literature.com and then search for Percy Shelley. Here you can read up on him, his life and work. Seemed that this guy had a preference for the dramatic and romantic way of treating life. Many notorious & famous British men had the honor to call him a friend. Friendship was to Shelley very important! It even caused him financial heartaches once in a while.

For a guy who lived in the 19th century he was rather a rebel, a man with outspoken opinions, a political activist, an atheist, a traveller, a true romantic soul, and much more. I challenge you to read up on him because what you will find out about him does make him an exceptional poet. What do I like best about Shelley? Well, perhaps that his poems are so well structured and have such a depth! That he choose his words so well and ..... Hey, check this out for yourself. Because in the case of literature, poetry, art and music we don't have to agree at all. I just try to point out that knowing your classics can still brighten up your day!

And no, I have not intently picked this poem because of a certain vampire word! Nope, this is just a coincidence! Although, if I come to think of it.... I can picture Edward Cullen reciting this to his Bella at the end of'New Moon'! You don't need to agree with me! Uhm,... I am tempted now to go on that Shelley might have bumped into Carlisle Cullen at the time! LOL! If not in London then in Italy! And the biggest coincidence: they are both vegetarians! Just coincidences! Don't you love such coincidences!?



'O Mary dear, that you were here
With your brown eyes bright and clear.
And your sweet voice, like a bird
Singing love to its lone mate
In the ivy bower disconsolate;
Voice the sweetest ever heard!
And your brow more...
Than the ... sky
Of this azure Italy.
Mary dear, come to me soon,
I am not well whilst thou art far;
As sunset to the sphered moon,
As twilight to the western star,
Thou, beloved, art to me.

O Mary dear, that you were here;
The Castle echo whispers 'Here!'

—“To Mary” (1818)

P.S.: HINT HINT!!! Poetry by Shelley could be the perfect romantic xmasgift. Wrap it in nice giftpaper and then a big red bow around it! I would die for such a gift and the side effects of such a xmas-gift are not suitable for publication! LOL

P.S.2: In case you wonder who the beauty in this picture is. I don't know! This painting is by John Godward, a neo-classic painter. Would love to have a reproduction of this in my office! Idea for a birthdaypresent!

Globetrotters @ Home

Today A and I had a last P-free day! We enjoyed ever single minute of not having to take him into consideration. I do admit that I am bit envious of him being over in NYC! A city that stands in a way for the beginning of our relationship. When he then twice a year flies into vibrant Big Apple without me I do get a bit cranky. And that I give him along a gigantic long shopping list does not make up for that. But after a few years him flying solo to many medical congresses and meetings and me allowing also my own share of travelling all by myself I seem to have calmed down.

P will be tonight boarding the red eye to Brussels and we do welcome him back. But the moment he will walk in I will need some time to re-adjust. Okay, I know, I do complain numerous times that he seems not to be around as much as I want him to be. It is also not that fun to have a rather less romantic soul as a partner who seems to forget that a mobile is in the first place to talk into instead of sending very down earth text messages with. And he is on Twitter but I doubt it that he has read any of my sweet or cheesy messages that I tweeted him!

But I do know that he had fun out there. NYC makes him back alive and kicking and he needs that so badly. He will rave about the Italian or Japanese restaurants he will have tried out, the newest Apple gadgets he has checked out, the long walks he loved above the rather tiring drives in the yellow cabs, he will have been shopping (because P does love to shop, he even has been on a xmas-mission!!! ;-) ) and have met up with some celebrities in his professional field or perhaps be standing in the elevator of his fancy hotel with a hot shot celebrity.

I even had the insane request, while he was being very busy looking up travel info on his iPad, to bring back Peter Facinelli as a souvenire. Normally P never reacts to such outrageously demands but he looked up and asked me in a very interested voice:'Is that the blond one with his hair back in 'Twilight'?' I was rather surpised by this question. He seemed to make a mental note of this and then went on acting busy. Chances are few that PF did fit into that Samsonite suitcase of his!

So, in less then 12 hours I will have P back to hold on to and hug him to death and then can we fuss over tons of silly details. But A and I had fun and this without him. I am not going to tell many details of the adventures we went on but we had just a good time. A did point a few times that he missed his dad but he was so kind to point out as well that he loved me having full time! I included him in all the fun and he even picked out some jewelery for a grown up lady who is celebrating her birthday very soon!

One of my personal highlights of the week was having F over the evening and talking mostly about how your attitude towards life changes by living abroad. And I also had a less shiny moment when I grabbed the bottle of rum and organised my private happy hour in order to get over a certain issue. Hey, desperate times call for desperate measures! So yes, I got a bit tipsy!

Yes, I have been feeling rather happy without my other signifcant one being around but perhaps I managed for the very first time to settle for the advantages of not having him around for a few days. My mum had warned me when I started dating him that it would never be easy and that I would end up doing many things alone or in the company of minors. I saw her doing it successfully and never complain openly about it. But still, do I now have respect for her that she managed to keep everything up running smoothly without my dad. The later did spend more time in the ER then at home.

This weekend we also went decoration shopping and our four star buy of the month turned out to be a globe. It is now standing in a corner of our living room. I love globes and this one is rather tiny but the light it sends into the dark space is very comfy and cozy-like and even romantic. A and I already have been travelling all over. He of course wanted to know where NYC was and where Switzerland was! He also pointed out very sharply that he wants to start travelling in the company of the two of us.

A is ready to conquer the world. All we need to do is convince his dad that he is up for the travelling bit, the long hours in the car (the new car arrived into our lives and I JUST ADORE THIS ONE!! Read my lips: I ADORE P HIS CAR! Miracles do exist!!), the packing, the waiting in airports or when standing still in long traffic jams, the car sickness, having to deal with many side-effects of travelling... He wants to check out all those places that his parents rave about and show him pictures about. He wants to see, feel, smell, touch, taste for himself and make up his mind about that round object! That globe is about to stay in our living room as a constant reminder that the three of us want to be worldcitizens!

P.S.:P happy homecoming!! I hope that the city that never sleeps has granted him the time he was after. Okay, he does not sound as 'An Englishman in New York'. P his English makes you wonder if he is French! I fell for that accent and I still do!

Love The Fans?!

The weather does not agree with me! To much rain and I have already blogged so many times about that bloody weather condition that I refuse to give it any more air-space! So I decided to go and find some inspiration elsewhere.

So the guest appearance of the month I kindly give to a very special bloglady: IndigoPetra. She wrote this entry to make us think why we sometimes fall for the moviestar or some other big shot out there. The guys or women who seem to have it all! The ones we desperately want to get closer to.

Yes, Stallie, still has got this thing going on for Peter Facinelli. Today, he will be in Dallas meeting fans. The last few days he was not on Twitter! Not I was worried but others seem to be! Uhm, the guy has got a job to do! 'Breaking Dawn' is now filmed on many fronts. Brazilians go crazzy and are even upset because they can't get as close to their beloved 'Bella&Edward' as they wish for!

Last Thursday while I was 'Remembering' London went insane for Harry&company! Movie #7 is out and so the red carpet was filled up with the many know names that we have been growing up with! Daniel, Emma & Rupert got their share of 'fan'-atic behaviour to witness while they were out there. There were even some Belgian flags waving in the crowth! I am big Harry Potter fan but facing the pouring rain for then just catch one glimpse of Ralph Fiennes, Emma Thompson or Daniel on a big projection screen is just a bit to far fetched!

It is for sure something that comes along with fame: fans! I am fan of many things, places, objects and for sure famous A's: actors, athlethes and authors. Those three groups can make me scream, yell, cry, smile, cheer, curse, shiver, and some other human reactions that take part inside and outside my human body.

Peter Facinelli (I would love to buy some of the cookies he was baking for a good cause while other wondered why he could not Twitter), Kim Clijsters (she is going to play Justine in a few weeks!), Herman Van Rompuy (the first European president signed very politely and with a warm smile his book filled up with 'haikus' I bought @ the Bookfair of Antwerp, he had brought along an army of security people), Sinterklaas (who just arrived in Antwerp and has to face the rain and keep smiling), Dick Norman ( tall redheaded man with curly hair, lovely smile and in the company with a tennis racket who will be playing the Masters Doubles along the side of Moodie) and today I voted for the best dressed British guy walking around on this globe (won't tell who I voted for because I consider voting rather a very personal act!) and many more can make me act like a fan.

Author wise I do not know how many people bother to read me and what would happen if I would announce one day that 'As Life goes By' is a thing of the past,... I don't know..... I do check my statistics but these don't tell all you wish to know. And if I come to think of it, am I worth a fanclub? Nope, don't think so but I do know that A for sure is my biggest fan ever and that P still is renewing his membership ever year again. Two fans that is all it takes to make me do the very best out there. For all the others that happen to read once in a while a piece that I have tried to 'compose': thank you so much for granting me some of your precious time! LOVE YOU ALL!

All the other emotions I do not wish to write about (at least not for the moment) are described in this rather very nice piece of writing:

IndigoPetra: Love: "Love... what does love mean to you? For me - by now - it is feeling at home when- and whereever I am, as long as I am with my husband. I do..."

Zen In The Classroom?

Teenagers can be very fierce when it comes down to getting their point across. For sure when they are spending time in Puberty Country! According to my mother I did never checked in there. Still, I have seen enough that it is for some kids a rather painful experience. My sister rather got stuck in that period of time, also according to my mum, and I do think that it were the Swiss and a nice fellow named C that turned her into a real lady!

At work I am so fortunate to walk into a classrooms filled up with wild hormones and kids who are about to errupt because of the specific feeling mentioned here above! As a teacher noticing that there is a pupil out there who is staying over in teenage hell then you can do two things: ignore or try to make it a bit eassier on him/her. In most cases I go for option 2. One of my golden rules in my classroom is that 'disturbances always get priority'! After all they can affect my teaching style and also the quality of learning!

'Please, get it out in the open!' or 'What is bothering you?', 'Can I do anything do fix it or at least let me find some help for you to make it any eassier on you?', are just some of the opening lines when I am picking up negative vibes. They then also get two options. One: they talk about it for 5 minutes privately with me or when it affects a whole group I try to get them all involved in a group discussion. Or they can deny themselves that right but then also start working without any further disturbances! If they go for option one I then turn into a modest moderator without choosing sides. Try to be a good listener and guide them through the very difficult process of trying to settle the score! And this without extra punches!

In most cases it is my personal formula to turn a bunch of hard core teenagers into hardworking sensible kids with still enough punch in them! Helas, yesterday it was not enough! One look at the 12 faces standing or sitting out there was enough to know that they just were about to go for the kill! And it was their stresslevel I was experiencing and I was fighting back not to let it get under my skin! 'Oh boy, where is Jasper Cullen when you need him badly?!', I was thinking.

After being 10 minutes in my room they had spilled the beans and there I was facing a class in complete turmoil. Not that they were passing out punches (nope, that chapter appeared to have taken place just before they had entered the school! Visit to the ER included!) or were going to attack me! But what I was experiencing was not a positive atmosphere in which I was ready to teach them about some significant social skills that can make the difference in their lives!


There in front of me were sitting very hurt kids and my bag of tricks was empty! My classdoor was knocked on numerous times. Many got to go out to have a meaningful talk but the dust did not get settled by recess! By noon I was the one who was very tempted to drive over to N for an emergency shiatsu treatment or booking a ticket to the tropics. When I left my classroom I was more than ever convinced to get that one sign made:'Beware, Class of Newborns In Action!' with a very colorful 'Twilight'-twist to it! When it is out on the door you better keep out unless your name is Jasper Cullen!

P.S.: In order to snap out of this mood I tried to imagine to be something else for a few hours. In the background I had this Donna Lewis song on. As a teacher I need to have many aliases. But on an average Wednesday I seem having rather the impression that I need to be most of these things mentioned in this soothing&velvetlike song!

May the force be with any 'Twilight'

I am almost at the end of my summer break. Mentally I am already picking out new folders and putting together new projects. In a way it is seems that inside I am up for ten new months of educational fun and perhaps some chaos! The book stack is almost vanished and yes, I made it into book 4 of the Twilight Saga. For the moment I am half through the more then 700 pages. And I am truely enjoying every printed word of it! Guess, that 'Twilight' became a fixed ingredient of the summer of 2010 or is is going way beyond this?

Uhm, what I can I say? Well, I try to make up 'excuses' when some people look at me like they are bitten by a vampire themselves when hearing I am into this whole bloody epic! After all, it is one of the few free choices I have left in this society: picking out my personal reading material. So no, P could not manage me to stop reading 'Twilight' and will never understand truely what the hype is all about.

One look at my house I do think A &P have a few obessions going on themselves. N was so kind to point out this out
- N: 'This can't go on! You need to do something about this, stat!'.
- S: 'What can I do? They are in this together! I am flying solo on this one?'
- N: 'You should get this stuff out of the living room. Let A select some of his favourite pieces and put them on a shelf in his bedroom!'
- S: 'Sounds, like a good idea but it is them against me!'
N was looking rather out of tune at the biggest invasion that has taken place in our house. Finally she shrugged her shoulders and then settled for ice cream.

Still, N is right because I did tell P this is getting out of hand. Not that I am talking about cars this time. Still no certain specific car parked in our garage. If you wonder why you have not received not a single dinner invitation the last 10 months then this is the only justification I have at hand: LEGO.

Our living room resembles for the moment one big Lego workshop. AHHHH!!! The numerous moments that I have tripped over a tiny Lego stone or was forced to dig into a huge bin filled up with unidentified Lego bricks in order to finish a new creative construction A & P had come up just before bed time were numerous! Lego has managed to screw up many evenings. At least that is what it do my evenings!

Don't get me wrong I do like LEGO! My brother his LEGO-heritage can be still visited at home. This gigantic construction entirely made out of Lego includes even some female features I used to play with. But P has this one certain thing going for one collection that has nothing girly! STAR WARS! P&I have in common that we do like the whole Star Wars Saga but he for completely different reasons then I do! He can rave on about the armory, the outfits and the sounds the engines produce. P his eyes then start to sparkle and before I knew he had A infected badly.

To make things worse there is this whole new Star Wars world that you now can dig into: The Clone Wars! It is a cartoon on television telling the adventures of Anakin (the one turning completely black, dark and evil) Skywalker. This still peacefull colored Jedi then has tons of adventures out there with his friends! He manages to save many 'unknown to mankind' planets and keep as a friend many strange looking creatures. In between battles he tries to woe his true soulmate Padme with his Bambi like eyes!

A few weeks ago my Star Wars fanatics tricked me into spending over 50 euro on a DVD-box with Season One on it. Most episodes I do know by heart just listening to the sounds! P and A still look at the screen like they are wiped of this planet and were time warped! If it only stayed that safe I would not have gone in a certain state of despair! But in front of the TV there is a whole Star Wars engine park to be found!

I am almost sure of the fact that George Lucas would be able to move in and feel at home! P surfs the net while watching certain episodes in order to find 'things' in LEGO! Before I have turned my back he has managed to order a new box filled up with sheer Star Wars fun!

Being a very patient person I do try to understand this whole thing as a father-son adventure. Still, I have a very hard time that my house is a danger zone for high heels (tripping) and children under the age of 3 (choking hazard)! I am so tempted to sacrifice my office to Star Wars and beyond. Because I want to turn this into a real living room where I can put down a love seat, hang frames at the walls which are filled up with nice shots made all over the world, get it painted in smooth colors and get that one 'special' bookcase made for it!

P&A seem not to agree with me because the latest news on the final frontier was that very soon the complete Season 2 of the Clone Wars will come out on DVD! With other words so much more inspiration for Lego-designers. And P will be fired up then once more behind his computer to order a new box.

The most hilarious scene that took place this summer was when P put A to bed and announcing:'I will get Twilight!' While hearing this and thinking that this was my cue I ran up to this bedroom. 'Here is mummy!', hoping for a wet kiss! 'No, mum, dad, will go and get it!' And a few seconds later P entered with one of these high tech looking Star Wars transporters.

Turns out that Anakin Skywalker has got this personal transport engine in which he goes out there to save Padme and kick some ass with some less peaceful alliens. It looks rather funny with just two little wings (at the same side)- and this huge canon at the other side. 'Can this fly?', I doubtfully asked them. I can tell you that the vicious looks I got from them were not that funny! 'Mum, this is Anakin he can make anything fly!', A answered! P was imitating the sound this obvious smooth flying object produces while battling many succesfully!

Did I feel out of place at that moment. 'Twilight' is now battled on two fronts in this house. To be realy honest I do not know what would happen if I would send out Edward or Carlisle over to Star Wars headquarters asking very politely to move out of our living room. After all, books can be pieces of furniture, Lego is a life hazard! May the force be with any 'Twilight' out there!

P.S.: In case you wonder what the Lego version of 'Twilight' looks like:



P.S.2: Just to point out what kind of material P&A keep themselves busy with:

Becoming Jane

In the two months that I am home I do have some certain appetites. One is for reading. After taking a break of the best bookclub ever I decided to join again for the summer read. The four books I ordered a few weeks ago and I started in the first one. But this summer they have got competition. Like mentioned before I got Twilighted a few weeks ago. So now half my house is filled up with books and DVDs with apples, red ribbons and chess pieces on the cover.

When I told N that I was reading the books she was so kind to tell me that I should grow up! The best defence I had was:'They are real good books and so much better then the movie!' Sounded so much as a cliché! For the moment I finished book 1 and 3. I am half way through 2 (the reason why I finished 3 before 2 is very complicated but call it logistics!). 'Breaking Dawn' I am going to keep till the end of the summer. Because my VIB-stack is waiting for me.

The whole Twilight thing is getting a bit out of hand. P is already calling it worse then Facebook! 'For god's sake, vampires, how can that be of some quality!?' While standing in my nighties in our bedroom with a copy of Eclipse I felt busted. I do not have many justifications at hand to turn this into the read of the century. Because, honestly that's not it.

Okay, I have this thing going on with Doctor Carlisle Cullen who is way out of range when it comes to blood sucking vampires. There is also the fact that I do think that I do have the right to get, once in a while, into one of those hypes or nostalgic things. This week I was even tempted to buy one of those Monchichi monkeys. Don't start me now that men don't have those spells. In most of their cases it are wet dreams about some certain cars. Even P has got this thing going for a certain little car where I just can't put my finger on.

I try to understand him why this is the one and only car that is way up there. Believe me, we have arguments about him buying that object of his affection on 4 wheels. For me that one little sport's car stands for the little boy that is still alive inside of him. One day it will be parked in front of our house. That day I just will have to let my fences down and hope to see many smiles and sparkling eyes when he gets behind the wheel.

So why can't he back of when it comes to books? Because if he would know me better he would understand why I do try to get to the bottom of Stephenie Meyer her creations. But then it would take me months to explain that there is for sure a dash of my all time favorite author in there: Jane Austen. Still, even that adoration P does not get.

Becoming a Janeites did hurt. While doing my research for my final college dissertation I bought tons of books covering the life and work of this Hampshire born lady. I remember standing in front of her grave, on which there was lying one freshly cut red rose, that my mind was completely invaded by her.

Twilight author Meyer knows her classics and besides Shakespeare and some other notorious authors she has found something between the lines in Jane her fruits of labor. True love, commitment, patience, prejudice, pride, believing in the good nature of human beings and this against all odds,.... She did not name the most overprotective vampire of all Edward because she just liked the sound of that name.

Privately Jane Austen her love live was one big mess. Like many women she just did not obtain the right to choose her own love intrest. Her beloved parents tried to point out that money was above love the one thing that matters in the cruel world. And that you can't make your own living by the pen! Unfortunately she fell in love with that one object. And she would only settle for a wedding contract if a husband would let her make a living made out of ink.

The men she met on her way to the final product also landed up in there. Because it is not hard to imagine that Jane did have a Mr Darcy of her own. Eloping, chances are she had tried it out herself, she had danced on a few formal balls herself and had seen the destruction love can bring on. Her true emotions she kept not always to herself. In the published letters to her sister Cassandra (whose lover died of yellow fever once he made it to the tropics) she admits very openly that she wants to feel alive and love unconditionally!

It are these letters that I do think are the key to the writtings of Jane. In her correspondence she confronts the closest of kin what she thinks of the world in which she tries to find her true soulmate. Time was not that kind on her. But she kept on writing and in that time, where most fortunate women had to be gifted dancers or piano players to entertain the men, that was quite a challenge.

Jane was a good dancer and she played the piano good enough to find the 'right'man. Only once she seemed to have met her 'Edward' or 'Mr Darcy'. The guy who couldn't read her from the first time they met, who offended her openly, who lied many times to her to keep her safe and obviously told her that she was a good woman to the core: Thomas Lefroy! But he also settled for the conventional rule and put a ring on a 'good behaving soul'!

For me it was as college student very hard to understand the psycho of Jane. I did feel a bit pitty for and she seemed to be a prisoner of her time. According to many Jane was just one of those women who tried to be less conventional then most women who surrounded her. If it comes to the 21st century we have nowdays also many modern Jane Austens: women who try to stand up for their true beliefs and believing in true love against all odds! I even have some friends who I kindly will put into that category.

Jane was a very exceptional person and a very stong individual with one drive and that was to write about what she thaught about the life she was trying to cope with but secretly still hope against all odds. Still I think she deserved a better epitaph on her grave. Because "extraordinary endowments of her mind", were the only words her brother James could come up with when dealing with her intelect. Seems he was a bit ashamed of his own next of kin.

In 'Becoming Jane' (a movie about the life of Jane Austen) the Regency girl says very fitting words about novels:'A novel must show how the world truely is. Somehow reveal the true source of our actions!' Bella comparing with for example Elizabeth Bennett is hard to do but they have more in common then many think. Vampy Edward can be matched up with the cool Mr Darcy but then also with an other dramatic loverboy called Heathcliff (Brönte)!

Still, if I have to choose between a ride on horse or touring the sporty Volvo of Edward or the so cool Merc of Carlisle then I can make up my mind in no time. 'My kingdom for a horse', is perhaps too Shakesperian (an other author the Twilight author turned to for inspiration) for these Cullen Boys but at least they have got manners when it comes to courtship! So if P gets his act together then at least he opens the door of the passenger seat once he dares to come home with that dream car of his!

P.S.: Yes, I admit it openly once it was half time in the game Germany-Spain I changed channels to watch this nice movie covering Jane Austen her life! Not true to the letter but very nice insights into one of the most daring female authors of her life. I love the answer Jane gives when asked by one her courters if her novels have happy endings:'My characters will have all that they desire!' Guess that Bella would fit right into a novel of hers!