It is Christmas! Next to me sits a 8 year old one with his unwrapped present and a gigantic smile, also quite near is a Christmas tree with still lots of presents under it and I am playing Christmas songs... So this must be Christmas....and my mind came to a total stand still...something that is quite hard to do if your name is Stallie.
Normally this girl goes totally insane the days before the Holly night... I jump on the metro for last minute shopping in Brussels, where I have to find my way amongs tons of lost tourists who are basically are only after two things: the location of their hotel and chocolate... The supermarket and I also have some Christmas issues going on because it then happens more then once that I have to overcome tons of obstacles that only occur at this time of the year... My Christmas tree is also a source for worries because the moment you have dressed up that whole tree for the occassion and try to switch on the lights...nada.. Stallie feels then how should I put it a bit less Chrismassy... I then even tend to pout a bit..
Still, this year I decided to twist things and keep up that smile that I had during the lovely Christmas luncheon at work. This year I wanted to be one of these jolly Christmas people who just manages to get all the Christmas duties done without falling into the Christmas mood-trap. Stallie was going to show how she can survive the Christmas rush to the world... I even did let people jump the line but this only by adding a line like:'I guess you have got the Chrismas turkey in the oven and do not want to get it burned' or 'You still seem to have lots of work to get done before being able to have a peaceful and calm Christmas.' Some of the faces I got to witness where priceless. The face of my mail man was also a happy one because he was missing for quite some time but he decided that he just could not let his 'clients' down for this special&intense time of the year..
Now one night further I do know that celebrating Christmas should come along with a manual... because there are people who have missed out at getting to the central message of this whole universal occasion.... Stallie tries to be world citizen and tries very hard to be aware of all the global conflicts that go on around her.... I do feel sorry for people who just do not seem to get the central meaning of Christmas....
Stallie does not always agree with the mortals who suddenly think it is the time to write a speech and call it their 'Christmas'-message.... Suddenly my newspaper, radio station and television is filling up with people who think it the right time to get their message across. Many feel called to coppy the angel Gabriel whose message did for sure came across.Well, sorry boys and girls your timing *ucks... I wonder who came up with that idea in the first place? It almost feels like that some of these people feel the neccesity to make us concentrate on certain issues.
Hey, I am not stupid that there are very crucial problems that have to be taken serious but can we please wait till I have stored away the Christmas linnens,have emptied a few bottles of Champagne, written my Christmas cards, visited my beloved family and friends, had a minced pie and a mug of muled wine, made some long distance phone calls, perfected my art of giving...and most of all prayed and was granted a few moments to be hopefull, prayed, tried to medidate and perfect my mindfullness... all things that I do consider quite important in order to become a better human being? Just wondering because honestly this year I still have to come across a VIP-Christmas-message that justifies this timing...
Perhaps is Stallie a bit naiev and too romantic to get the whole thing about broadcasted 'Christmas messages'. The content of these speeches has got no effect on me.... because they more and more sound like something that is more fitting for the first of January after that we took the time to take a good look at our selves and eat, pray, love and miss what we care about deeply. After all I do not think it is fair to rain on the parade of Jesus and Santa... Perhaps I should next year for Christmas ask for a 4 star quality umbrella!
Have yourself all out there a wonderful Christmas and I bet that I do need to point out what the real message of Christmas is and how any of you should live or act around this time of the year. Chances are that most of you have already found out yourself! Happy Holidays next to manger or beyond... Many of you will be missed and wished to be standing under the mistletoe with me...
I have got a blog and do blog about things that matter to me or that I have got something to say about. Writing a blog gives me
a space to open up and let out the words that you might hold back. This
year I have not been that active but I had lots of things going on in
the non-digital world. Not that I have got any intentions of quitting
out here. The blog is now a part of me. But what does it tell about me? Is
there in most blog entries something that tells you who I really am?
Would you be able to describe me by means of this blog?
Now
please do not start to leave comments about what you think about me
because that is not what I am after. More important I have to note it down myself. No, I am not kidding, it
is even an assignment. Plus I have to stay quite positive about it without walking into the dark woods. *deep seigh*
I mean how can
you start writing a text describing yourself. It is like you are asked
to write a commercial about yourself. And I have been told over and over by my parents and many adults who tried to put some sense into me that it is not decent to boost about yourself. Plus I do believe in the words that 'Nobody is perfect.' But then there is Garfield echooing in my head who says then with his typical cat-grin:'I am Nobody!'.
And I do have got an other issue going on with this because I do think it are others that kind of define you. It are the people around you who are the ones who use the words that can describe you. The remarks, criticism,opinions, etc.... are all words that can give you more depth. But how many times do you talk about yourself or have a positive monologue about your own content?
Not for nothing stands the mirror symbol for vanity. Okay, I do stand now and then in an elevator with a mirror and will then look at myself and then whisper to myself:'YOU CAN DO THIS! YOU HAVE BEEN THROUGH WORSE! SO GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER!' I might then even give myself a slap in the face and once the elevator doors open I snap back into my safe mode. Many of you will recognise this....
Just put this way: I am not good at promoting myself or coming up with things that I am quite good at. The fact is that I did promise a few people that I was going to give it a try and no I am not going to copy the content of my job interview. That would be kind of cheating. So this morning I did take a good look at myself in the mirror and did try to look passed the wrinkles and the dark circles. It was already mind exercise #1 trying to keep focused on the postive things.
So......
..................
Euh....
*gettting up to get a drink*
Okay, well .......
*putting some xmas music on*
Come on! Can't be that hard, can it.....
..................
*staring blank at the screen of my computer*
.................
*head landing on the keyboard*
Guess it won't be for today..... but at least I gave it a try!
There are these very funny moments that you are about to laugh very loudly because of a joke a good mate of you tells you while you are having a drink after a long week at the office... or there is this moment that you just start to laugh spontanously because you suddenly remember something very funny. Bet that also many of you have seen some of these 'funny' youTube clips that are tapped 'by coincidence' and turn out to be hilarious and cause many global smiles. Then there are these moments that you end up in rather hilarious situations and that the only thing you can do is laugh.... A laugh turns out to be a very powerful weapon in some situations. In some cases you manage to laugh things away. Laughing is also told to have positive health side effects and causes you to end up less wrinkled. So in many ways laughing is for sure fun...
The thing is that what I consider funny you might not think funny at all. P&I differ quite a lot when it comes down to humor. Luckily this does not cause relationship problems because he loves the 'Green Wing' as much as I do. No, I respect my partner his opinion in many things and also in laughing matters and then there are these moments that we both do not see the 'funny' ingredient in certain 'humorous' situations.
Yes, I admit it here openly I did smile a bit when I read in the morning newspaper that Princess Kate was admited to hospital with 'Hypermesis Gravidarum' or in less Harry Potter sounding language she is under the spell of morning sickness. While reading this I that many women would laugh at this news because many mums to be manage to stay out of hospital while suffering of this. Some people even made openly funny comments about it.
At the same time I had flashbacks of some of my colleagues who suddenly run out classes and the only aim they had was the bowl. The relief on their faces I got see after that visit made me smile but I knew they felt rather awful. Being pregnant is such a ball! Most women just try to make the best out of this morning sickness and keep in mind that it will pass once their pregnancy gevorderd. Once you have got your baby in your arms you do forget about all these times you had to have always a bucket close by. You will even be able to have some laughs about it.
Still, one look at Royal Kate and you just know that this lady is rather delicate. Yes, being pregnant can be so much fun but your body has a will of its own and your body undergoes major changes. Do I need to elaborate on this subject because I do think that many of you know what I am after. It is not just because this is a Royal baby in the making that we suddenly become all experts on pregnancies. Or do we? Nope but many of us suddenly want to find out every detail about the Royal in the making. Journalists suddenly consider this pregnancy as public
So then when last night I read that the private nurse who took care of Royal Kate was found dead in her apartment I did not laugh. Total silence filled up our living room. Disbelief even for a second. Our press was very fast by telling us what the cause of death was: suicide. What had I missed? Because appearantly this dedicated nurse had done something that had made her do this. When I read what was the story behind all of this I did come across words like joke, prank and hoax.
Surely this isn't funny but that nurse did end up becoming the laughing stock of many. The media is now trying to explain why this happened. Well, honestly for once I do not get the joke... I realy don't and perhaps we will never find out what went on in that hospital once that the mangement found out what happened. Not that I wish to know. I consider that internal affairs and yes, we may now wonder if there is no code of conduct in many places when VIPs are involved. Blah blah blah blah...
Sorry for that blah blah blah but this is exactly the point that I wish to make here. I am all for free press but there are limits in my head when it comes down to this. Lately journalism seems to be after a certain entertainment content. Yes, I like my breakfast show presentators who can pull it of to make phonecalls to our Prime minister before he has put on his hallmark red bow tie. I do smile when they manage to get performing artists or sport personalities on the line to ask them how they are doing after a good show or victory.
All of this while these humans are still digesting their morning muesli or power bar. I can tell you that the voice of Kim Clijsters in the morning does not sound that crispy as when she used to take on journalists after being defeated in the 3rd round at the Olympics. It is during these interviews that we find out tha they are only human! But a good radio show is in my honest opinion also one that respects the privacy of the people or at least to a certain extend.
I wonder what these radio presentators tried to proof. What were they after when they came up with that 'joke'? Were they aware of the consequences of their prank? Now, please do not start me on the fact that journalists have got the task to go after a story and find out the truth. That is in this case not the issue. I wonder if Mel & Michael ever tried to call the White House pretending to be Osama Bin Laden? More importantly is what I wonder journalists learn of this...
Many of us will jump into action and not only the management of that one specific hospital... nope believe me that many hospital and other care giving institutions will suddenly be triggered by this news. Phone protocols will be revised and many of us will find out sooner or later that finding out information about our loved ones once they end up in hospitals close or abroad won't be that 'easy' anymore.
We here at home wondered if these people had still some 'scrupules' when they were doing their job. A word that matters greatly when you deal with humanity in general. None of us like to be made fun at openly or becoming the laughing stock of the nation. Especially if you think you are doing a decent job. Yes, harm can be done over the phone. Just what ticks me off in this case is that if these 'funny' radio presentators did even for one split second were aware of what harm could be done?
Yes, before composing this entry I did listen to this interview (I had not intentions to do so but a writer does his/her research)and the moment that they called it the eassiest phone prank ever I was tempted to turn it off. No, I don't have a solution for what went on in Sydney. All I find out now is that this had devestating consequences in the UK. On top of that chances are likely it will have consequences for many of us. I just wonder if Mel&Micheal will be LOL when they won't be able to find out how one of their next of kin is holding up in hospital. Not funny? Well perhaps it is wise to keep in mind that there is a thin line between humor and seriousness even when you are on the phone...
P.S.: My other significant one being a doctor is very upset by all of this and can't even a listen a 2nd time to this 'notorious' interview. He thinks that many will end up being a victim of what happened. One newspaper who published this news their readers awarded this news with the label 'depressing'. So over 78% considers this then also as the ultimate bad joke...
P.S.: I had not such an easy time picking some fitting music for this entry... because it is not such 'positive' one... but besides laughing also music has got some healing power. So I picked out these a more upbeat numbers because I do wish to end with a smile, a genuine one and hopefully you don't get me wrong....;-)
And this is a 'prank call' that the other signficant one and me can make me LOL.
It might not be your cup of tea but we are big fans of 'The Green Wing'.
It is the Holiday season and I also link this festive season with certain kind of music. Not only the many xmas carols or angelic hymnes that I might hear when I turn up the radio. There is one piece of music that for me expresses the ultimate xams feeling. I even know where I was when I did hear this for the first time. I fell in love with it. This for some very obvious reasons but also for some less obvious ones. This piece of music can evoke many great memories I have in my life but also some less nice ones.
Today while driving home it was on and yes I have got some dark skies coming up. There is snow in the air and once that Saint Nicolas has passed by A&I will set up our xmas tree. This piece of music can trigger something inside of me because there is a certain power in this music that can make me feel very happy and getting into the xmas spirit.
Okay, there are many great xmas songs and I do love the classics but this is just that bit extra. Yes, I have been for quite long time dancing on this music myself. My favorite part: The Trepak/Russian Dance. Today when I drove home from work while some wet snow was falling out of the sky and with in my Hello Kitty lunch bag a Sinterklaas food treasure (kruidnoten, amandelstaaf en speculoos) I did suddenly get into the spirit. Sadly to say it was rather hard to dance the Trepak in my tiny car...
Yesterday A got his Saint Nicolaas gifts because next week we will getting ready for exams. Something I not look forward to because it will mean that I will be coaching a kid who prefers LEGO-bricks above numbers and spelling. I might have to get some prozac into this house in order to survive this period of the year. Believe me that we sometimes are doing incredible mental acrobatic tricks to finish homework. I would love to be Edward Cullen at these moments. I mean, I sometimes do not get it what my son does not get.
Still, chocolate is all over the place and the advent calendar is out. This means that Stallie is getting ready for the Holiday season. Today we even woke up under a duvet of snow and had cancel the indoor baseball tournement because driving in this natural product P just can't handle. In a way we are mentaly snowed in.
This week I had already sometimes that warm feeling that makes me feel rather fuzzy and more postive about many things.
- A watching every evening with me to the DVD 'Dag Sinterklaas' and getting into the spirit for the good Holy man to deliver. We had once more amazing conversations about this anual festivity. A even ended up on his lap during a company party. He ended up with a board game with a high educational content what was a bit hard to explain. P&I had to make clear to him that the old guy is not always bright enough to remember the preference of all his well behaving children. The box will be used when the dark and cold January and February evenings arrive. Can you tell that I am very happy with that box.
- Chocolate shopping. Stallie and chocolate are a very special combo. Not that I consider myself a chocolate addict but I love that brown gold. The smell of chocolate can make me already smile. I was then also not happy when a certain person in the national press did dare to describe Belgian chocolate as 'over the top'. EXCUSE ME? Turns out that he only tasted the mainstream brands and did not even bothered to dive into the hidden treasures. He even admits this openly. FAIL!! Major FAIL! There are some out here that can still make your head spin. Our favorite will be delivering the chocs for the Ritz in London. Visiting their tiny shop and look in atelier is like being dragged into a gigantic bowl of 4 star chocolate. This holiday season I will very glady bite into af few extra pieces because some of them are prepared with love by Geert or other 'chocolatiers' whose heart beats faster for the 'authentic' Belgian chocolate.
- Spoiling many around me and getting xmas packages ready. I am slow on this part. It takes ages for me to find that one perect gift that I think some people that I wish would be closer to me. Chances are few that the box will make it to you in time to rest under the xmas tree. Just consider it then an after xmas gift. Best moment so far was having one of my God children over and spoiling him. It was so nice to see his great smile even when it was covered into spaghetti sauce.
- The xmas-bazaar at work where I ended up working in the 'surprise room' and where only children can buy presents. I had to be the personal shopper of many under 12 kids and had to show my best wrapping skills. Xmas morning many mothers and fathers will end up with gifts with a high laughing content but it was so lovely to see the effort they put into making up their mind and creating tags for them. Unforgetable and also the fact that my principal showed off the singing skills while I tried to tackle wrapping paper and tape made this day unforgtable.
But most of all I love the be able to start off with using the advent calendar. Together with the advent wreath those are the true heralds of the xmas season. A his advent calendar is quite daring because it is a Star Wars themed one and I settled for a rather boring looking one. I also still have to look for the perfect green wratch with ribbons to put out in our living room. Slow...remember I am slow... but inside my head candle #1 is lightned and am I counting down the days.
Advent is a fact! Like mentioned before Stallie loves this time of the year. A and I even have our own calendars. Mine is rather boring to his one. I mean Star Wars Lego figurines and such will always win the battle of a paper snowman. I hope to find very soon a wrath as well because I do like to fill up our house with xmas spirit. But first Saint Nicolaas has to get back on board to Spain and then we drag down the tree and other garlands.
But all around me many of you are already gtting into the Holiday spirit. But I have got a dillemma going on. A few weeks ago the present pope was so kind to give his personal interpretation about one of my favorite xmas objects: the nativity set. At this house we have got a Playmobil version but also one from Equador. Undoubtely many of you know what a nativity set looks like. Well, the pope has changed his mind about the interiour design.
According to him the following do not belong in there: the oxen, the mule, the camels, the sheep, the 3 Kings and also the singing angels should be evicted. He backs his point of view up with the Holy Scripture. Nowhere they are mentioned and so what is the point of letting them show up in there if there is no proof of them on paper. I can tell you that when I was reading this news article that I slightly was producing words that are for sure not part of Pope Benedictus his daily vocabulary.
Adjusting our nativity set is not so much work. We can just leave them in the carton box and perhaps we then also should not listen to the lovely xmas hymnes that are sung by lovely female voices. Not such a big deal but I am having an issue with this. I do... Because in my head only a genuine nativty set that makes xmas complete is a filled up one. Looking at that set tells me so much about what the central meaning should be about at xmas. Yes, Stallie loves this time of the year and it is then that my hopes are a bit more positive for the world all together. And I do not leave out anyone or anything in that spirit. Not even a camel and if one of my younger nieces wants to put a plastic elephant or flamingo in it who am I to evict it?
Now that I found out that Amazon won't deliver the Kindle I am after as a xmasgift I am very much tempted to order a new 'complete' nativity set. In this house all will be granted Holiday assylum and can enjoy with us the xmas spirit. So even if you are an elephant or an ostrich or even a flamingo or a lost soul you are all welcome to move into our nativity set! We will glady turn up the music and sing with angelic voices Silent Night!
*warning: if you hope to find an easy blogentry then please forgive me. This is a rather philosophical and mindfull one. One that I wrote after a month observing, watching, reading many things and people. It is my honest opinion about how I perceive the world. So feel free to skip this one.*
Stallie has not been quite actively involved with her blog lately. Work is taking up most of my harddrive. There is not enough time left to produce an entry that I do think worthwhile to read. The thing is that the last few weeks I did have so many times the intent to write but there was always this little voice in my head that said:'Nah, don't, not worth to put this one out there.'
Still, my mind has been in overdrive the last few weeks and I have to be honest the world has given me plenty of inspiration. You will find out soon by the number of the posts that show up out here. Many of you were even mindblowing and I even include myself. There have been moments that I just sat there at the watching television or reading a newsarticle thinking:'Nah, you must be joking.' or 'Come on, you can't be serious.' Or even just observing others was sometimes a bit awkward. I have more then once twisted my tongue and instead of speaking up my mind had to grab for one of my candy dracula teeth. Sugar does make the medicine go down!
No, Stallie is for the moment in her typical November blues and I then find out that many did join in. Or is this perhaps the beginning of the end? Nah!!! I do not believe that the Mayas calendar is right about the prediction that these are the last few weeks of this planet. On that one I have got the tendency to believe the NASA scientists. Okay, we are not doing a great job on many levels out here. Most of the time we still tend to get it wrong even if we think that we have covered all bases. It is then then I am sometimes so surprised how the human mind works.
I am fully aware of the fact that I am not alone running around with hopes, aspirations, wishes and of course opinions. Over 6 billion human beings on this globe try to make it a more fun place to hang out at. And no, they are not all the same. Thank the lord (or whatever force is behind that genetic action) for that. Stallie loves to dive into that diversity. I still consider myself very open minded and I have been to a few places over the years to be fully aware that what I think is 'normal' is for an other human being a bit more complicated.
This month many people around me have spoken up their mind. I did hear you, I did read you and some of you were even very loud and clear what you were after. Stallie is quite trained in mental gymnastics. I do then make the effort of putting on the glasses of someone else and trying to perceive what others do. To me such a brain exercise offers lots of interesting data and makes me more aware of how the human race functions. Believe me it is not easy. It can be rather painful and involves letting go. Something that I had to learn myself and it did take some time.
On a daily bases many things pass my brain seive and it is then I do wonder what I have to think or feel. Still, there are sometimes moments that I just can not put my finger on because there is no right or wrong. If people then would ask me for an honest opinion in the hope that they will hear what they wish to hear you might be surprised what comes out of me.. In some cases nothing and you might see a blank face.
But let us be honest it expressing an opinion involves many skills. But I dare to state her openly that I am still like to be in control of my own brain, my thaughts, my opinions, my feelings, my values.... So there are moments that I have got the tendency to call it a tight because who am I to call someone wrong or right? In many situations there is no real winner. After all I did find out, sadly to say so (and deep down many of you know because you have found this out yourself) that the world is not always 'fair'.
The Garfield side of me then says then that 'nobody is perfect' and as long I there is lasagna for dinner I will survive. Many of us have made mistakes and in many situations I am very much tempted to offer even my other cheek in arguments. Why? Well, let us put it this way: I am tired because I just hate losing the valuable energy I need in order to be the most energetic Stallie, the one I signed up for and I know the world needs.
Deep down I might be slamming a door but I won't show it because I doubt that anger is a very useful communicative approach. Yes, Stallie can scream and yell. I am not proud of that but in arguments I might give you the benefit of the doubt but do not expect me to change overnight. In the background of the argument there is the real present waiting and I wish to be there and fixing what still can be fixed, or help out where my help is realy needed... I just can't afford to lose anymore time...
The thing is that there are sometimes detours on my road that did not show up on my GPS! I then try to find an other route as fast as possible. Okay, I might need a cookie, a cupcake, an extra cup of George Clooney coffee, a winegum or instead of having one serving of lasagna go for a second one and then even opt for the real Coca Cola instead of the light version.
In this month I had many moments that my head was spinning and that I wished we could make the world come to a full stop and take the time to find compremises. But like said before it does not work like that and I just can't 'waste' that much time as I wish because my TO DO-list is monsterous long and I have many people I wish to take care about and things that I wish to do before I finaly can dive into my present list and spoil myself and others a bit.
My best medecine for the moment is watching 'Games of Thrones'. A series that P&me even manages to keep awake a bit longer on a rainy and cold evening. From under the duvet I travel into the heads of many characters who are after something we are all after justification of their deeds, love, happiness, power,wealth, adventure, loyalty, a good laugh, a pat on the shoulder, a ride on a horse, a sword fight, a stolen kiss or a hug and the promise that in the end everything will be restored as we consider it right. It is not an old idea. But power still today does funny&disasterous things to the human kind.
And with all due respect, ladies and gentleman out there, be honest you do not have time to waste neither. So do not be surprised if I offer you in the middle of a fierce conversation some candy. After the dust has settled I still believe in the greater good and wish to move on. Please also believe me if I had the solution to tons of world problems I had already posted it out here. But if you do think you have got an solution to world problem then please share...for now let us have a good ride out here...one that lives up to our expectations. Just do not forget to laugh once in a while! `
The music I chose to go along with this entry are these two:
1. A song by Celine Dion, who I always do prefer to sing in French. Her voice is then less tensed and her songs are almost like poetry. On this one I did even dare to dance on street. Okay it was dark and raining at that moment but I then did just splashed into the puddle and felt very much alive...and yes I am also still waiting like so many of us...
2. And this one by Robbie Williams can make me smile but believe me I do feel in many situations like that guardian angel. Yes, I use candy in many situations.
PS:And for those who wonder what P&me have got there mouths full about. Season 3 is about the air in 2013. So you have got still time to dive into season 1 and 2 or read the book. What might take a while because it is a real challenge.....think Lord of the Rings... Because I do not wish to give away too much just the opening of this show.
While hurricane Sandy was about to hit the US east coast and the rain was pouring down in Brussels I was hiding out in a warmer spot. Last night the Latin American music invaded my mind and made me move my body&soul to the rhytme that makes me feel so much lighter . I did spend that rainy night in the accoustic company of Juanes&co. They managed to get the National Circus of Brussels into the Ritmo Latino. The only thing that I was missing was a Cuba Libre or a Mojito to get even more into the Latin mood. And no, it does not take much in order to create this sensation. Juanes did bring along Alex Cuba and this fellow needed only a guitar and his warm voice to sing his way into our colder hearts. And because sometimes the music says it all am I going to keep it rather short and sweet:
P.S.: I do hope that all my readers at the US coast are safe and well and that there is not too much damage to face. And F, thanks for dragging me along! It was for sure a memorable night out in 'Bruxelas'.
It is midterm and I made it in one piece. Not that it not took any
effort to make it to the finish line. Okay, it is not like I have been
running a marathon but I feel a bit shattered. But the tiredness is more
located in my brain then in my body. That I faced first about 70
parents at report card was for me of course quite a challenge. But then
it is part of the job description and that these parents show intrest in
how their children manage with Dutch I do think is quite nice. There
was not a lot of time for coffee, tea, a biscuit or even lunch we had in
a personal record time. Time did fly by and then you suddenly get hit
by the hammer. Your mind starts to act up funny.
I love
my mind and brain in general. Stallie loves the brain games and I admit
it here openly that I even like to play a few games to keep my mind
focused.
As long I feel the positive side effects of having a racing mind I do not mind. Unfortunately it not always works out that way. What goes up has to come down once in a while so....Stallie is always aware that sooner of later her mind will back fire at her. It then seems so hard to let go and let things take its course. Not that I do not try. Believe me I already am better at then I used to. But still it will always be something that makes some days a bit less fun to hang out with me. Not that you will always notice because I got better at hiding out. I do have now even an office where I can run to and close the door and try to take a distance of it all.
So yes, I have got storms going on in my mind. There are even moments that I wish I could turn my mind of for a few days. It is not that I curse it but the brain activity sometimes complicates things and I need also a break once in a while. After all I am only human and yes I have got the tendency to hold back my emotions because they only make things more complicated. But then I would forsake myself in many ways. The moment my eyes fill up with tears I do hold them back or try to find an other way to deal with the sadness or the insecurity or the anger or whatever less fun emotions has taken over my mental state.
Do I look for help? Do I fight back? Do I look for distraction? Oh yes, I do. Because I know deep down that I need to take care of myself and not letting the emotions take over my life. Now, please do not think that I am afraid of having ended up in a story that could been extract of an appocalyptic movie that nobody wants to see or playing a part in. I have already found out that I did not and the grass is always greener at the other side.
Okay, the Mayas their calendar says that we might only have a few weeks to enjoy on this globe but a website of NASA-scientists tried already to convince me otherwise. But we will see if we make to the 23rd of December in one piece. For now I need to concentrate on the good stuff that my life has got to offer and putting the less nice things in the right perspective without polluting my brain with gloomy and poisonous thaughts. It is not worth to leave my sleep or getting totaly tensed up because it turns out that I am not living the fairy tale life. And to be honest I have got so much to be happy and grateful for..... it are the finer feelings that I do then search for and I do find them in many places and moments that I now consider rather special:
- having a lovely luncheon with some good friends who already know me so well and also share the deeper emotions of their lives. The smiles shown during that meal were sincere and were not fake. The given advice they gave me I do take at heart.
- a lovely ride with P in his sports car through the country side and feeling so content of just seeing the simple things like green pastures, sheep and horses that were enjoying the last rays of Summer sunshine. I had this warm feeling rushing through my veins that makes me feel happy.
- cupcakes and great chats with my friend N and her lovely son V. The friendship I get to share with her makes me feel so much alive.
- a fantastic bookweek at work! Being a great booklover it made me end up in 7th heaven and I met up with some great authors and illustrators that for sure found their way into my book-mind. That I got to go to work as Mary Poppins was also a great extra.
- meeting up with a friend that once made my heart beat faster and who still tries to keep up with me. It was just lovely to just have a great talk about where life took us and how try to stay true to our principles and our ambitions.
- finishing an other book that took me to a world created by a gifted author who can play around with words and create a good story. I just love the power of words and the effect that they can have on my mind.
- watching my son run to first base and feeling so proud of him because baseball brightens up my grey life and that he is having a great time out there on the field makes me a happy and proud mum.
- having dinner with former colleagues and finding out that they still know how Stallie functions and when they saw me trying to locate my car keys came up with:'Some things never change.' Made me LOL. Yes, I miss them and so such moments I consider special.
- my 'boss' S who has given me so many opportunities to show my abilities and wants me to feel part of a team. That she is able to keep up with me and lets me be the person I wish to be makes me feel very content at the end of even a rather exhausting day. Her footsteps at the beginning of the day can make me feel so happy because then I am ready to roll and trying to get together through a day full of surprises. I never feel lonely at work at that is great feeling!
- the lovely appetizer and Halloween inspired drink that our school-cook D came up with in order to get into the mood for the upcoming break. On top of that being granted a coca cola lolypop that made me remember how I felt like when I was kid and given such a treat.
- getting to know the characters of 'Game of Thrones' who will fill up my wet and cold Sunday nights that are heading my way now that Summer came to a total stand still and that the golden yellow and brown leaves are falling of the trees. Oh yes, I already have got my favorites that I am going to watch closely.
- the numerous little comments, pats on the shoulders, hugs, winks I pick up while I am at work. I had so much fun during office hours and teaching sessions. It kept me so focused.
- the ulitmate mindfulness moment that I did this last week experience in my car when I was standing still in a trafic jam but did not mind at all. I had nothing to worry about or fill up my lost time. I had a blank canvas in my mind and it felt so great!
- the good news I found out by emails, letters, tweets or phone calls. You can be sure that I love it when friends and family share the good stuff with me. It can give me an energy boost and perhaps get me to a higher level.
- watching a feel good movie with P on the coach and just feeling relaxed and that the man sitting next me on the sofa was also enjoying himself.
- seeing how my father in law was holding on to a gigantic Winnie the Pooh cuddle while he was playing a game of chess with this grand children. It made me realize that we all deep down need a cuddle and that when he lost we all were laughing out loud.
-admiring the new born M whose mother J was beaming for happiness and
who made me realise that being a mother makes you more fragile but gives your life an extra dimension.
Surely I have got tons of worries and did I pick up many negative vibes this weekend as well. Life out there is not always a ride on the merry go round and I think I already stated this out here. But I am fully aware that if I do not pay attention to small details and enjoy the good times that I do then miss out so much fun and energy.
Perhaps my most meaningful moment of my passed month was when I
passed by a bench where two older people were sitting enjoying the sun in total silence but looking quite content. It was that I
did once more witness that the best things in life are quite simple. In a way I did envy those two people on that bench because they already seemed to have discovered what it does take. It is just a few footsteps away from your doorstep and you might miss out on it if you do not take a few minutes to sit down, just go silent and let life pass by and let it be what it is....
“Wind and words. We are only human, and the gods have fashioned us for love. That is our great glory, and our great tragedy.", George R.R. Martin 'A Game of Thrones'
In case you want to find out where the image came from that I picked out to go along with this entry:
And the title was inspired by this song by a great performer who for once used a different kind of background music to get her message across:
It is October and everywhere you come something will pop it up covering the subject of cancer. There is no hiding of it unless you are on a polar expedition or climbing Mount Everest. So no doubt that most of you out there know someone close or perhaps not that close to you that has been affected by this disease. Okay, there are tons of survivors out there who share their experiences openly. Still there are also people who rather keep to themselves when dealing with this painful experience. For those cancer-patients closure is very important. It is over, it is a wrap, it came to end, it is the past ..... and can you blame them? I for sure can't.
Yes, it is nice that there are so many awareness for something that has got such a destructive force and needs all the support at many frontiers. There never will be enough money to cover ever scientific angle of a cancer cell. It seems to out smarten still many (wo)-men in white jackets. Yes, there are new treatments available that some years ago might have saved many that had to get out the white flag. But still, ...... Cancer is not something static. It is unpredictable and very hard to grasp. The moment it enters your life up, close and personal it changes everything.
Yes, it entered my life in a personal way and it has already affected the way I live my life. I also have become recently fully aware of the stress that it involves. Because it is was for sure not much fun when I faces that impressive breast camera. While I stood in front of it my life did come to total stand still. Stallie had her first breast photo shoot done of the two body parts that I have got a biased relationship with.
Many will perhaps envy me for my cup size but believe me I don't. There are even days that I curse them. There is nothing grant of having twice the bra size of someone else. It is almost as bad as having gigantic feet. Buying underwear I consider hard labour and most of time they don't carry that cute bra that I have seen out there on every bill board in my size. Big breast means also that you are blessed with lots of gland tissue. And where there is gland tissue there is room for other less fun things as well.
I know that I had to get this done in order to take good care of myself but it wasn't a fun ride. That it was my first time made me even more anxious. Luckily was the nursing staff very considering and did they pick up my vibes. I could have kissed the radialogist when she did break that news to me. My body suddenly released almost 4 months of stress. Because that is how long I did walk around with this in my head. People who know me a bit better do know what then goes on in my mind. I then might seem in total control from the outside but there is a war going on in my mind.
The thing is that I don't think there are enough right words to get your point across about cancer. I am surrounded by many who face the monster in a very painful way. I try to be a considerate person when I do find out what they must be going through. But sometimes I just stand there and go totaly silent because sometimes I don't find the most fitting words to express my feelings when I am with them. So yes, next week I will wear my pink ribbon at work and buy some raffle tickets because there is still a lot of work to be done at cancer frontier.
There is then also not a very easy way to write an entry about such a subject. All I can do is feel blessed for every single day that I am granted out there and live my life at its fullets potential. Yes, I do believe in 'Carpe Diem' but the dark shadow lingers around the corner. Like many have already stated it would be nice if we could live in a world without cancer and that it would be basically only a star sign.
One of the better articles that I did read in the last few weeks about this subject is this one:
The song I did pick to go along with this entry is once more by Sting. Fragile we are all! This version did he sing at a moment we all were fully aware of it!
The fourth week of September came to an end and Stallie is very tempted to call it a very early night. At the end of a work week I always sense how my body was pushed to its limits. I did change some things since changing jobs like going to bed a bit earlier then I used to. Not that it always is the guarantee that I will sleep like a rose but it does seem to help me to get the end of a work week in one piece.
Not that the month of September at the previous work spot wasn't hard to deal with. I bet that many teachers out there feel like they are run over by a monster truck. The workload already has reached a certain amount that is hard to express in figures. Guess it is part of the job description. When I signed up for the job I was prepared for what was heading my way but still...
Today two people asked me some crucial questions that I wish to answer out here. Yes, they matter in how I try to be the 'new' teacher/teacher assistant. Because I am fully aware of the fact that there might some people out there who wonder why in the world I wanted that different job challenge instead of the job security that I was granted. Yes, I am fully aware that I had to give up some priveledges in order to be granted access to the international educational world I now live whithin during office hours. A world that I longed for. But I am fully aware of what some people wonder when they question about me wanting to change.
First question that I was asked during happy hour and enjoying a well deserved Kriek:'Isn't it hard not being the teacher anymore?' Well, it might sound a bit surprising to many of you: no!! On paper I am teaching assistant and my job description states the many tasks that involves. In reality I end up doing much more then the paper says. My boss does care about what I think and she tries to get me fully involved when it comes down to teaching the kids. My suggestions and ideas are welcome and I already had some unforgetable fun moments in class! So in a way it is not that hard but I am fully aware that it is sometimes a thin line between being the TA or the teacher once I enter a class room.
Second question someone asked me in an e- mail:are the pupils not a bit too smal for your liking? Well, yes that was something I was wondering myself. After 14 years of dealing with puberty in class rooms I did wonder if I was ready to enter the world of the primary school pupil. But the transition goes a bit smoother then I hoped for. The furniture is smaller and the classroom posters are more colorful but other then that it seems that I adopt easily.
Stallie must be then constantly zen and in 7th heaven, you might think. No, I am not because Stallie is fully aware of how easily she slipps back into old habits or even suddenly faces an old 'monster'. And that happened twice this week in some very crucial spots of my existence.
Once it happened in my car when I drove back home after finding out that I had forgotten my gym bag and was assistant coach netball after school. No way that I was going to do that in office clothes. So I decided to drive back home the moment I got at work and ended up in the disasterous morning traffic. I then went through all the emotions that I so many times dealt with when still was working at my former school. Stallie changed into a voodoo doll and she produced tears. My heart beat went up and I started to sweat. My mind was racing and I knew that the rest of the day I was going to be a lost case. That I would be running behind my own shadow and that many things would go wrong or not according to plan. I even wondered how in the world I ever managed to survive that many rides to and from work in the past at this paste.
The second time it happened on Monday evening while sweat was rolling down my spine and my head looked as red as the color of my ballet leotard. It was only a year ago that I had decided to go back into that ballet studio and trying to move my body along with Mozart and Vivaldi. Last 12 months I had a very nice time rediscovering my ballet past. Monday evening became the evening that when I slipped into my ballet shoes that I did lock out everything and everybody and granted myself a gigantic dance therapy session. It was like homecoming and on top of that did I made some new friends out there in front of the mirror and was suddenly not scared anymore to make some decissions.
But last Monday I was back in that one spot where I have been for 10 long years and it was pitch dark. My mind went totaly blank and my body suddenly refused to move along with the music. Nothing made sense anymore and I felt so out of place that it hurt. My whole body communicated pain. That my ballet teacher seem to know only one name and that I was the lucky one I did not consider a compliment either. Freezing cold I was while the temperature was raising in that room full of mirrors and light.
It is very hard to describe what then goes on in my mind but I suddenly wondered what I was trying to do amongst all these very athletic looking young women who are able to jump very high and make every complex movement look rather simple. Stallie wanted to run out, hide behind the shower curtain in the corner while a warm water would hit her face. I wanted to get out of that space where I have to let go completely and passing myself over to a certain force that makes me rather vulnerable.
My fence was back up and I was so negative that I even started to panic and skipped certain exercises. I even felt intimated by some of the new faces. That I was the only one not wearing black made me even stand out more. Panic and anxiety took over and yes I wanted to ask for a refund. No way that I did belong in that room!
Funny how the brain works and takes you by surprise. Because I had not been prepared for it to happen again. So there I was standing again at that crossroad and was granted the opportunity to make a choice: stay and keep on trying and holding up my head high or leave and storing away those ballet shoes in a box in the attic and banishing dancing forever. I had done it before and slipped already once into a world where dancing had no right of existence. No walz, salsa or twist anymore to make my feet move and letting my body take over from mind.
What made me stay and jumping back into line? Well, perhaps that I made some promises to myself that I want to keep. Dancing is one high up on that list and I then decided to push out Darth Vader and let then my ballet shoes be ballet shoes. Letting the change that I was facing because it seems that it is at ballet school that I have the hardest time dealing with that or is it there that it hits me and I become fully aware of what I am going through for the moment.
Because let us be honest yes I miss my old work spot and the pupils I have been working with. Yes, I miss my familiar classroom and the staff that I did hang out with for so many years. After all I am only human and I do need some time to come to terms with the changes that I made. I then also made an other promise this week while I was spending some time in front of a copy machine and that I had some time to reflect on my past:'I am never going to forget where I came from.' After all that one spot did shape me partly and has taught me some very important facts and not only about teaching. No, also about life in general. Does this come to you as a surprise? Not to me after last Monday.
When I then last Thursday walked into a classroom and saw a certain poster (see the picture here above) I fully understood what message it tried to get across. Because after all dancing in the rain is something that requires a lot of skills and practice. It also involves letting go and trying to look a the pleasant and positive side of something that only seems to have negative effects. For the ones who know Stallie quite well know what rain can do to her. Not a pretty side and yes it does equal what she did look like that Monday night at the barre.
It was then I knew for 200% that dancing in the 'rain' will make me a stronger person even when it means that I might have a hard time. But perhaps a pair of some colorful wellies might cheer up my dancing in the thunderstroms that might be heading my way. If you care to join me then don't hesitate because the dance floor is big enough for two of us. Or any number that is.
PS: I did not go for the classic one but rather for this modern version of dancing in the rain. I did play this song over and over at a certain moment in my life. Madonna also changes frequently and I wonder if you even remember that she did look like this.
Just a very quick one because I pledged myself that I would go to bed rather early and this means before eleven. Still I wanted to give two special persons the airtime they deserve on the day that fictional Bella Swan celebrates her 25th birthday and that my non-fictional lovely sis is celebrating hers . 60 years ago two little children entered the live of many and this by the means of illustrations and a rather straight forward but oh so recognisable story line: Jip en Janneke.
Yes, I know them because my grandmother bought me once a book in a Dutch department store and my son knows them as well because I ended up buying him the same book. Those two icons hang out now in many more places then just books. Stickers, stamps, t-shirts, memory, candy, lunchboxes, shampoo and even lemonade. Just name it and you will find it with them on it. They have reached now the age of retirement but it seems that they still seem to be able to fascinate many. Including the generation of who is told that they prefer digital toys and fast games above books.
Today I saw the force of 'Jip&Janneke' in front of me and I was amazed. They still can go the distance. Because let us be honest that you can silence 20 eleven year old ones is something extra ordinary. So even in teaching Dutch to some demanding young students it seems that the classics still have a lot to tell. Thank you Annie M.G. Schmidt for those amazing adventures you wrote for these two and also a gigantic round of applause for Fiep Westendorp who came up with the design of these never going out of fashion story telling icons. And where are the 'stroopwafels' to celebrate this special day?
Okay, I got through my first week at the 'new office'. Yes, because I have never ever mentioned the places where I work by name and I don't have intention to change this now. But it is a very nice kind of exotic spot to have my office at. But being a newbie at such a place is sometimes hard work.
This week was quite intense and also there were a few moments that I did wonder if this was just week 1 or that we perhaps already had got to week 15! Being a newbie means that the first week seems to last an eterinity or at least that what the sensation is. Now being sunny Saturday I feel for sure what I have been through this week. My body tells me that it is exhausted. Not that I did not expected that to happen. Because going back to work after 2 months of summer is like detox in a way. Painful and rather hard! Just this year it was just a bit harder.
I do feel at home where I am now and I already had some very nice moments with pupils.
I am still the same Stallie if it comes down to finding my way around and I did stumble almost over a chair just the moment before going on to stage during general assembly. Everybody has seen me you can be sure about that. Then there is my accent that for sure gives me away. It also confuses a few people. 'You are not Belgian. You are Dutch.' 'No, I am Belgian but I was born close to the border with the Netherlands so that is what you might pick up. I am a border-child so to speak!'
So right now I am in the middle of the process of deleting info that I needed daily in my previous job and replacing it by new data. This causes me headaches and when I get home it even feels like I got hit by truck. Just very little things like:
-where is the closest toilet you can run to when you need to go
-what paper do I need to fill out when I am in need of paperclips
-where do I find a list of all the new pupils with pictures because I need to remember all the names of upper Primary in a record time.
-what to wear now that denim jeans is something that I need to ignore and need to follow a more businesslike dress code.
- swapping languages constantly and not trying to mix up words when you speak or teach.
-how to put my lunchmoney on my ID-badge in order to obtain food in the school cafetaria.
-what button to push of a copy machine after being 14 years not been allowed close to one.
-what the meaning is of many abreviations or words are.
-who is who and still mixing up names or not even being able to remember the most of those by lunch time.
-trying to remember where I have left one of my personal belongings after being all over campus. I seriously thinking about labelling all my personal things just like my pupils.
- keeping up with S, who is a linguestic miracle with her knowledge of 7 languages and impresses me daily with her teaching style. She is one of a kind person and I love her already to bits for the energy and the inspiration that is pouring out of her.
-getting used to working on a qwerty-keyboard between office hours. I am very sorry in case that you get a message of me with many spelling mistakes but chances are then that I then am mixing up keyboards.
-getting to be used being called by my first name by all people at work, including the pupils I work with.
-singing and dancing being part of your lesson plan and trying to take yourself serious.
-etc
I guess you are getting the picture here and that I need some time to get my head around these things and that the list first will be come first even longer before I can tick off a few of them. But I guess I better the devil I know because they are all essential in order to get through a normal day at the office. The singing and the dancing I do for the moment consider the hardest! Not kidding!
The first of September is a fact and that means the end of Summer and back to school. Many of us will be confrontated one way or the other with that. A did get his new school essentials and he is already getting back used to getting up at an early hour because I already am back at school or rather back at work! He even parked his newest red bookbag next to his bed what makes me very happy as a mum. I consider him ready to go back and what about me am I ready to go back?
Well, I wanted something to change in my professional life! And since this week I did embark on a totaly new adventure of that part of my existence. Okay, I had tow months to get used to the idea of leaving one place and boxing all my stuff and draging it to my car and then moving into a new more international flavored educational environment. Easy pie but it was only after handing over my work keys and staring at the rather confrontating words:'Deactivated Account' that it hit me right between the eyes. When I did drive home that night in the sun and got home I did have an emotional meltdown and that lasted till I walked into my new workplace.
Yes, I am anxious and also slightly a bit less confident as I use to be at this time of the year. Because after 14 years in the same place becoming a newbie is a bit terrifying. Lots of the data that you have been saving on your harddrive you are forced to delete in order to make space for new more essential life saving data. Lots of my daily vocab will be now completely different and yes it involves also speaking an other language at a daily basis. Something I do look forward imensely.
The last few days I got the grand introduction and I must say that my first impressions are overall more then just positive. I did already pick up so much energy at that spot that it is mind blowing. It feels like I am swimming at the deep end of the Aquatic Center at the London Olympics. Yes, I did cheer for Team GB because from now on I am going to spend quite some time with this nationality but not only them but I will find the globe in my classroom so to speak.
Yes, the new data input creates also some tension insside my head and some chaos. Stallie also already managed to make tiny little mistakes like forgetting where the the m is on an qwerty-bord, forgot her rain coat in the cafeteria, walked into a door because she just did not know what way it was opening. Obviously not the way I assumed! Being the newbie can be painful in many ways so to speak! But I am having a lovely time out there.
Of course will I miss the next few weeks my colleagues and former pupils even a bit more because they have been part of my life for over a decade. That is not something that you just erase by hitting the delete button. It is sometimes now at the most insane and awkward moments that I will have flashbacks.
Stallie already met her new colleagues and yes she is quite busy processing all the data, number, facts, graphics, words, Powerpoint- presentations, routes etc In a way am I stretching one of my elastic bands that my brain contains. The brain oh what a wonderful thing because after all that is something that we teachers rely on big time! Just how much are you aware of how it works because since the last few days and especially today I did find out that it so much more fascinating that I was told during a biology class. It affects a lot of how we learn things. Making mistakes is part of learning new things and so I am prepared to walk into a few more doors in the next few weeks. But I am looking forward to the 3rd of September a bit more then my son this year.
As an extra I wish to share you some of the new insights that I gained during my first CPD at the new workplace. Joan Deak is for sure a very entertaining person to have over during a day that you as an educational professional are forced to sit on hard chair and listen for hours to someone else do all the talking. Because after she stopps you almost go down on your knees to keep on going for an other day. Of course I could leave the gym without a copy of the lovely children's book she published and am very sure that the others are also very well worth to read if you want to find out more about how the brain works.
So good luck all of you who will be going back into schools. I will miss the old spot for sure the next few days a bit more but I guess that I will be creating tons of new memories in the weeks to come. It was a fun Summer but this TA is ready to give her very best and to teach some kids something new. But I am sure that I will also pick up more then one new thing a day from my pupils.
And yes Joan Deak did point more then once that what is said in this wonderful poster by one of my favorite American artist Mary Engelbreit are for sure true. Most of us ended up being influenced in the choices we made by a teacher. I am grateful to some very inspirational ones and for sure when I tomorrow will drive to my new teaching spot because there are a few ones who kept on telling me to never give up and keep on trying. Guess that they were right after all! ;-)
In case you wish to find out more about Joan Deak you can find out more here:
Firenze is the past! And I have still not posted an entry here. Why? Well, because it was a very intense and emotional holiday for me. It was not just a city trip and the people who do know me quite well know that it had been something I had been longing for quite some time. Ever since my art history studies at the univeristy I longed to see 'live' all canvas, marble, architecture, stones, sights.... All the classes that I had about the content of that Italian city made me even dream about it. The moment that you take an exam about something it becomes part of you. So that I never made it sooner to Firenze is due to many facts.
I had my own personal reasons because I would have loved to have gone with P&A but these two men can't handle the heat and also the amount of art. I was then also very happy that my mother was prepared to join me for this very exceptional voyage. And so it is in the summer of 2012 that I finaly made it to that one city that I longed for.
Next I could compose a very long entry about what I went through while I wandered through the streets of this very historical place... but I have changed my mind? Why? Well, because I wouldn't be good enough. There are not enough words to express what I felt while spending 6 days in that city. Because let us face it, you were not there with me when:
- I dragged me, myself and my suitcase to our hotel that we could not find and that my mum and I are were about to collapse from the heat after having been used to wet &cold weather.
- I thanked the Lord almost on my knees for a bottle of sparkling water that we found in our lovely hotelroom when we arrived.
- I sat on the green (yes mum, your grass looks so much better then most of the heat struck grass we saw) grass of the Boboli gardens while writing postcards for friends and family. Did we LOL out when she read the sign 'Keep of the grass' after whe had been on it for over an hour. Priceless moment!
- I picked out my newest wardrobe to wear for my new job while my mum was my personal shopper. Pretty sure that we also checked out most of the handbag stores in town in order to find my newest assets.
- I took tons of pictures of many things that I wanted to frame and look at when I would be back in rainy Belgium. My camera sometimes used its close-up function also for the rather good looking Italian guys that were running around in town. My mum told me that if my sis would have come along that she would have had a fulltime job bodyguarding the two of us. LOL
- I tried to make up my mind in front of the delicous looking 'gelato' flavours and then seeing how my mum was enjoying here cup of dream flavours.
- I stood eye in eye with that one gigantic statue of David that where you have been reading so much about but still are not prepared for when you then meet up with. The impact of it is beyond any words.
- I lit candles in the numerous churches that we walked in to find a cool oasis and some silence. In those places I found so much more then peace of mind and was I able to contemplate about my life. Yes, many of you my beloved friends out there have been with me while I was in there.
- I picked out delicous sounding and even better tasting dishes! I can tell you that we ended up in some lovely restaurants. Antipasti, primi, secundo, dolce, vini, ristretto...I had them all and enoyed every bite and sip of them.
- I read so many facts, stories and anecdotes about a city that I do now even love more. Best guide book I bought was:'Florence, just add water.' For sure a reference book you need to get if you ever travel with children to this city. For me it was the best guidebook ever because in there was the only city map that did make sense to me. ;-)
- I tried to speak Italian but am very sure that I did sound so foreign that you would have LOL if you were a local. The thing is that I love the Italian language so much that it even sounds like music in my ears. And the typical gestures many guys make along with it are even more priceless!
- I tried to find the way but loved to get lost and bumped into unexpected situations like meeting up with artist Luca in no time found his way to my heart&of my mum or when resting on bench suddenly had lovely conversation swith some colleague tourists. And yes there were moments that I did try to hide that I was Belgian because sometimes we are not well behaving when it comes down to travel etiquette. Just keep in mind:'When in Rome do as the Romans' also counts for Firenze my dear Belgians.
- I noted down words in order to hold on to images of things, places, people, artwork, food,etc... My Moleskine is a bit more filled up with Italian inspired words and I hope to cherish them for a very long time.
- I bought liters of water and drank it in a personal record. The tittle of that guidebook I mentioned here before is so fitting because you just can't survive without water inside the walls of this city. Yes, it was very pleasant to find sometimes water in unexpected places and fill up your empty waterbottle. Chances are that I did spend more on water then on gelato!
- I was wearing my summer wardrobe and felt great! Never before did I wear that many dresses or short skirts. But because of the high temperatures Stallie had just no excuse. The pictures tell enough about the outcome of this.
- I talked with my mother about many things that we the last years perhaps not had find the right time and place for. Yes, thanks to Firenze I do know & understand myself a bit better and where I come from. You do travel to learn!
- I looked over skyline of this magical Italian hot spot and just dreamed away and tried to picture what Firenze must have been like to live in at the time of the notorious and powerful Medici family.
- I picked out the smell I wanted Firenze to leave behind on my skin once I would open a bottle at home. The many perfumes that hit my nostrils triggered such intense emotions. The ones that now fill up my bathroom can do the trick.
- I got sincere smiles of many locals. Yes, some of them were men who did just did seem to have walked out of on Armani commercial! Yes, some of them did own six packs! The ones that I did spot in their great suits and wearing, lovely typical brown leather shoes, holding on to a tiny bouquet of white roses and dark sunglasses on their nose made almost faint. Even my mum made then the comment:'Wow, they look so chique and sophisticated!' This qualifies then also for the ultimate Italian macho moment that I did share with my mum and enjoyed tremendously.
- I filmed my mother while she made some comments about the trip. Still I love travelling around on this globe with her. She is for the moment not having a very easy time but I am so grateful that before things were going to be a bit rougher on her that we did share this intense time. Yes, she was the one wearing very stylish clothes and never leaving without a hat or wearing lipstick!
- I picked out that red bracelet made out of sunflowers shaped pieces of fabric that many Italian women wear around their wrists. My mum declared me a bit insane that I wanted to spend money on something like that. The thing was that I realy wanted something like that to take home and wear around my wrist to remind of that special place. Because yes mum, I know that I will never be able to look like one of these very well groomed Italian women who always look like they are ready participate in a fashion show. But then this was also not what I was after with this buy.
- I witnessed how a total stranger suddenly went down on his knees in front of his girlfriend and proposed to her while an orchestra was playing in front of Palazzo Vechio in twilight while there was quite a crowth. Their faces were incredible and made fall alseep with a gigantic smile on my face.
- I wrapped those great white sheets around my cool skin that smelled lovely after that great late night shower and that tube of special shower gel I found in there. The goosebumps that were all over my body were not there because of the air conditioning.
- I opened in the mornings the window of my hotel room and did look at the dome! That view and the sounds my ears, the smells my nose, the images my eyes picked up made my heart jump for joy. I can not describe what I felt then. It makes me cry for the moment because I dare to call it happiness and wish that I could have bottled it up for days that I will have a harder time.
- I just let go and wandered off to places in my mind where I have not dare to go for quite some time.
Because yes, I had kind of promised myself that Italy was only going to be granted the Stallie she is on special days. No, you were not there with me! I was there all by myself. But to be honest that was exactly what I was after! The memories that I created on this trip are mine to hold on for the rest of my life. In case I did send you post card you might have noticed that I did not write down many words.
But you can be sure that I wrote it while my heart was singing for joy and that I did wish that many of you were sitting out there with me in total silence and that world did pass by. Even the ones that I can not write a post card anymore or I do not have the address of because of some obvious or less obvious reasons I did write you one and mailed it. Believe me you were there with me for some very meaningful moments on this trip but I can only guess if you would have seen, smelled, tasted, felt and picked up the same things as I did.
I do know now what Firenze looks, sounds, smells, tastes but foremost feels like and I know now for 200% sure my love for Italy turns out to be unconditional and it is stronger then ever! Because yes, when I crossed Ponte Vecchio I crossed something very special in my mind and in my heart! I wish you had been there with me and that we were been able to hold out for our hands. In my mind you did and that is perhaps what counts!
Il Ponte Vecchio Di Firenze
Gaddi mi fece; il Ponte Vecchio sono;
Cinquecent' anni giá sull' Arno pianto
Il piede, come il suo Michele Santo
Piantó sul draco. Mentre ch' io ragiono
Lo vedo torcere con flebil suono
Le rilucenti scaglie. Ha questi affranto
Due volte i miei maggior. Me solo intanto
Neppure muove, ed io non l' abbandono.
Io mi rammento quando fur cacciati
I Medici; pur quando Ghibellino
E Guelfo fecer pace mi rammento.
Fiorenza i suoi giojelli m' ha prestati;
E quando penso ch' Agnolo il divino
Su me posava, insuperbir mi sento.
Stallie is back from Italy! She already has unpacked her suitcase, downloaded the pics, the laundry is done and she has given her 'precious' Italian souvenirs their rightful spot. David is now brighting up our kitchen. He might end up being a distraction while cooking the pasta al dente but then I will enjoy that view imensely while chopping up mozerella di buffelo or pouring some olive oil in a frying pan. The athletic posture this fellow puts on a show did took my breath away because once you see him he just gets under your skin. Gigantic fellow with visible atheletic superpowers.
What brings me at an other atheletic subject: the Olympic games. I had to miss the opening ceremony because I was already wandering in Firenze and drinking liters of water to keep up my level of fluids. I did try to follow a bit the headlines and yes it was nice to see these Italian water polo boys jumping into a pool and going after winning score.
Still I do not feel that optimistic for the moment when covering the Olympics. I even tend to call it rather dramatic games for the Belgians. Why? It seems that we just don't make the cutting edge! It just does not happen and yesterday even my Vigo had to retire before the end of the Olympic tournement! Well, because once more it does show so openly that sports in our nation just do not matter. We just seem not to be able to coach athletes. Let us face it! Our nation considers sport as a nice distraction. Not that I think that every kid with ADHD should become a Michael Phelps and not each kid has got the genes to become an athlete but Belgium just does lack the profiency on many levels to raise a generation that will be able to use their talents on the highest level.
We are just not cut out of that kind of wood and I am very sorry but the last 10 years nothing much has changed to track down talents and coach them seriously and with proficiency. In Belgium it still the brain training that matters most then breaking a European track record because you do need back up in case you fail or when you might brake a leg or fall without funding.
Plus be very fair, fellow country men and women we tend to treat most of the our sporty Belgians as a curiosity. When they openly call themselves good enough to go the distance we even tend to mock them openly. The weeks for the Olympics many people even wondered what we as nation were going to do in London. It seems as we are a bit ashamed of ourselves. Because let us face it we do not have someone as Usain Bolt (but know that running the 400m is still considered harder!) or gymnasts that can make your head spin wild.
It seems that we out there in the sports arena show also the rather insecure personality we carry along in our genes. Most of Belgians that tend to show excellence are tend to be called a bit 'awkward'or 'dikke nek'!. But is Belgium a 'good' spot on this blue planet to nurture their talents? Uhm, I tend to say...no.... I am so sorry. I am very proud of where I come from and I do cherish my heritage but we do fail when it comes down to sports.
Let us face the music that if our national delegation brings home 3 medals that this will be quite okay. We are not the USA (no basketball dream team because we did decide to even let out best field hockey player at home because 'she did not fit into the team') or we are not Team GB who did invest millions of pound sterling in their athletes to grant them their best four years of prep time (some of our athletes are still amateurs and believe me that even the army is involved in some nations to employ atheletes) and no we are defenitely not Russia or China that already has selected their best for the Olympics in the next decennium!
Is this something to be ashamed of? No, but perhaps to the ones who dare to go out there and enter the arena deserve a bit more attention once in while and the right after care. Lionel Cox might look as Mr Bean but the guy did face an total empty press conference hall before focussing and then scoring. Being an athelete in this nation is not very easy. And even if you manage to win an Olympic medal the after game is sometimes a bit...how should I put it...awkward.
Does anybody remember what happened to our Olympic medal winners after they brought home their medals? I do not consider it okay that someone like 'Fredje' Deburgraeve ended up being a shoe sales person and Annelies Bredael might have sold you a Vauxhall/Opel.
I also just read a personal comment of our big chief of Bloso who has got figured it out why our Dutch neighbours bring home so much more Olympic medals then we do. Turns out if we would be 8 cm taller and take some more risks out there in the sports arena then we might be able to bring more medals from Brazil! Rather mission impossible because the first one is linked to our genes and the second one..euh perhaps also.
It is so awkward that I even did predict this weekend that Evi would not manage to keep her first place in the regetta race and our Jumping team who for the moment is doing pretty okay is already announcing that a medal is almost out of reach because Vigo does not agree with the rather hard underground. The horse is about to retire and longs for long beach walks. 'We do not have two very good horses like other nations.' Nope, we don't but many of the horses that are competing out there are born in our tiny nation. We have just decided to sell them to the highest bidder.
Belgium is not a nation known for athletes! Even our so Miss Symphatico Kim Clijsters found it out after being denied a wild card for mixed doubles. You can bet that does sting! But that is who we are! But it is not easy having to face a total empty press hall when you would love to answer some intelligent questions about your sport once you made to the Olympic games. After all these ladies and gentlemen did pass the Olympic exam! They did face hours of hard training, of overcoming dissapointment, failure, winning, losing, injuries, pain, joy, etc and most of did this all by theirselves.
Many Belgian athletes face the loneliness out there! It is their faith and I guess that it does make them stronger. Competitive edge is not a word cut out for us! Many Belgian athletes have been so used at training and figuring it out on their own that if they get to the Olympics that we wonder how the got there. Practice, years and years of practice and feeling the passion for something that they truely love. But they combine it in most cases with a college study or a profession that they stay true amateurs.
Yes, Stallie did wonder as well if it wouldn't be better to invest my tax-money in research and education instead of sponsoring an Olympic athelete. It makes me who I am: deep inside I am also a very Flemisch and do I tend to forget to think a bit more positive. Yes, I am rather envious of Team GB who now wins the one medal after the other and I would love to see many of our Belgian athletes perform well. But in our present context we just seem having to settle for top 10 spots and perhaps one unexpected medal.
Stallie will keep on wearing proudly her red t-shirt she bought to support those Belgian olympic athletes. Just live the moment out there! And all other Olympic athletes that already having it made to London are also worth an extra hand of applause. In case you run, jump, ride, swim, row, cycle or make other olympic movements while coming across one of these modest Belgian athletes please smile,wave or even pinch them! Because chances are that they might think that they are still dreaming and forget to live the moment!! After all the emotions we get to witness while the Olympic flame is burning are unforgetable intense!
P.S.: by the time I did finish this entry our Belgian Evi Van Acker won the bronze medal in sailing. Very happy for her because 4 years ago this very bubbling personality did come back with some shattered Olympic dreams. And if you come to think of it does it take Usain Bolt about 9 seconds to win an Olympic race and Evi had to keep focused and find the right wind for her sails for about 9 long days. That does make it a completely different race! Congrats Evi!!! Way to sail to Olympic glory!
Click here for a very nice selection of pics take sometimes very close up! Enjoy!
